Dissonance

I wanna sing to you

I wanna be your best voice

All the cards and cords are tired and tied

Stretched and unbalanced and wired/weird

I wanna be there for you

But you’re out of my reach

Even as you’re standing before me

I feel the dissonance rising

In my eyes, I wanna be what you need

You’re my daughter, in my heart

Marcy, I love you as my blood

A deep and ancient bond

I don’t have my voice anymore

But you must see how I feel

I wanna sing to you

I wanna be your best voice

All the cards and cords are tired and tied

Stretched and unbalanced and wired/weird

I see your grace in my old self

And now you sing for me

Breaking past all the barriers

A booming cataclysm

Like a new catharsis that rips & heals

I almost always get it wrong

But not with you

My darling daughter

One day I’ll break the dissociation

Dissonance

And blow your black clouds away.

—-

Author note: I’m struggling to cope with being away from my family and kids as I spent most of this holiday in the hospital. My third baby, a boy named David, is due March 20th. We had found out he had Spina Bifida And I had a surgery to repair his lesion. The surgery was a success and I was able to come home within a week. Unfortunately, I was only able to stay at home for less than two weeks as my water broke on Christmas Eve. They are trying to keep him from being born premature. Now, I will be here at the hospital until he is born(6-7 weeks). I am stressed and anxious as I miss my family and my kids very much. I wrote this to help me cope.