I wish I realized that when we fought on the patio,
When you took that long drag from your cigarette
And blew the smoke of yours words into my eyes,
That you were warning me through smoke signals
Because you knew I'd ignore your words anyway.
.
It was a pattern of bad behavior, ignoring you.
But I can't shoulder the blame alone when it was you
Who started the miscommunications, the lying by omission,
The dancing with the devil in the streets and telling me
That it was lightning, not hellfire, that I was seeing.
.
You shoved your goodbyes in the door of my car,
Slammed it shut and walked away like that wasn't
The most cowardly thing you could do,
Like it was some sort of clear message to run, hide,
Leave the town before my dreams blew up in my face.
.
I could only taste the smoke riding your scolding.
Because they were different words than normal, you see?
They weren't sweet and caustic but cold like ice,
Metallic as though you'd been chewing on your tongue,
Chewing on the words long enough to pick up the blood.
.
When I breathed in that cigarette smoke, I caught nothing
That belonged to your lungs, your heart, your soul.
Your thoughts tasted like fresh earth after a rain and your
Easy reprimands lingered like too-strong alcohol on my tongue.
It burned and I was addicted to that kind of trouble.
.
But this, oh this was the farthest thing from normal.
It tore me apart, carved invisible wounds in my chest
And wrapped a rope around my lungs on an exhale.
This wasn't you but the shadow you were shifting into,
The monster that would find the courage to say goodbye.
______________________________________
A/N: Another one in the Cigarettes and Smoke Series. The rest are below!
About the Creator
Silver Daux
Shadowed souls, cursed magic, poetry that tangles itself in your soul and yanks out the ugly darkness from within. Maybe there's something broken in me, but it's in you too.
Ah, also:
Tiktok/Insta: harbingerofsnake
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You Think I Am Broken
Introduction This is inspired by my situation on Vocal, the Bouke de Vries work and the Screaming Trees song. I know that for many others, they would have walked away from Vocal, but I am taking it as a challenge. I get the feeling that Vocal moderators and others don't want me here (just my imposter syndrome paranoia), but I know a lot of people do, and obviously, some on Vocal do value me, so I will not be giving up.
By Mike Singleton 💜 Mikeydred 7 days ago in Poets
Comments (7)
So much turmoil in this! The first stanza set the stage so incredibly well, especially, "That you were warning me through smoke signals Because you knew I'd ignore your words anyway."
This is so good, Silver. There are so many incredible lines in here.
This is my favorite thing you’ve written. I read it listening to ADONA’s ‘Haunted’ which made it that much more eerie. You are not just a good writer, you’re a gifted one. Clear talent, but also well honed skills producing intentional value. I absolutely loved this.
Holy hell, that amazing. Some many great lines, I can't choose a favourite. Well done.
Incredible visuals, silver.
Oh wow, Silver! This was phenomenal. Your words paint 1000 pictures! 💌
This was wonderful. I am going to read this series. I bookmarked it!! :)