An Evening with Jack Frost
Seriously though, what is this?
‘Twas a warm and bright November day,
I stood, admiring the Christmas display.
Out for a walk, all by myself,
I thought I heard the voice of an elf.
I felt a hand tap on my back,
And turned to see my old friend Jack.
It’d been so long since I’d seen his face,
I pulled him into a warm embrace.
*
He invited me out to have a brew,
Which quickly turned to twenty-two.
We were feeling tipsy as the night grew cold,
Knowing neither could drive us home.
We called on Rudolph for a ride,
And with a whip, we slapped his hide.
Off he flew into the air,
Twisting, turning everywhere.
*
When Rudolph took a sharp curve round,
Old Jack fell crashing to the ground.
I screamed at Rudie to slow the sled down,
To search for my friend upon the lawn.
We looked and looked the whole night through,
So long, we knew not what to do.
‘Twas just past dawn when we spotted Jack,
Stretched out, naked, on his back.
*
The glistening ground gave me a hunch
That he had surely purged his lunch.
I tried to peel him off the grass,
But stuck, he was by the cheeks of his ass.
He blew a fart that loosed the grip,
Then rolled around in a laughing fit.
I pulled him up onto his feet,
He crashed back down on a blanket of sleet.
*
He kept on laughing, harder still,
Each breath of air a frigid chill.
The lawn was covered in crystal flakes,
A tiny chipmunk, frozen in place.
“Jesus, Jack. Look what you’ve done.
“Get up, you drunken son-of-gun.
“Put your clothes on,” Rudolph scoffed.
“Hurry, before your pecker freezes off.”
*
I started to laugh, as I stood right there,
With the drunken elf and pissed-off reindeer.
“Don’t you laugh, you silly old fool.
“For this is surely your fault too.
“Help me get him in the sleigh
“And then we will be on our way.
“I guess I should be grateful this time,
“When last you were together, it snowed in July.”
About the Creator
Cathy holmes
Canadian family girl with a recently discovered love for writing. Other loves include animals and sports.
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Comments (24)
Haha! What a tale! Very cleverly done, Cathy!
LOL! Oh gosh, my friend, this is fabulous!
Excellently ridiculous and perfectly magical
Wow! Congratulations on winning 2nd place for The Most Supportive Creator this week 🥳🎉🎉 Well done ✨
Oh my gosh, Cathy!!!! This is hilarious! I can't stop laughing! lol! So clever!
Brilliant and hillarious - loved the cheeks of his ass line! 💜c
This is hilarious! A wild ride of festive chaos with just the right amount of absurdity. Jack’s antics, Rudolph’s sass, and the unexpected slapstick moments are comedy gold. That chipmunk detail—frozen in place—absolutely sent me. What a jolly, laugh-out-loud romp!🤗✨
This hilarious, Cathy! Looks like AI balked on illustrating Jack naked on his back! Seriously fun and naughty poem!
Well-wrought! Drinking misadventures are funnier from the outside than the inside, but, of course, the protagonist of such a story might not remember events well enough to get the joke!
Only you... So funny! Made me laugh. Is there fallout when Jack Frost farts? Is it an icy blast?
Omg! This was epic! Absolutely hilarious!!!!
Hahahahahhaahhahahaha that fart made me laugh so much! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Hahahah! Cathy I seriously love and appreciate your sense of humour so much!! 😂 My favourite lines were: "But stuck, he was by the cheeks of his ass. He blew a fart that loosed the grip," “Hurry, before your pecker freezes off.” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Love that you managed a rhyme scheme with all of this too!!
Enjoyable read! So funny! 😊
ROTFL!!! Humorously written and loved it!!!❤️❤️💕
This was a fun read, Cathy . 🥰🤣
Hahaha. What a hoot, I also wrote about Jack. Great minds?!
🤣😁 That Jack frost is a bad influence!
Funny!! 😆
too funny
I think I would like to party with Ole Jack. funny little diddy to keep our spirits high, ( kinda like Jack)
Very very funny. Ha!
Hahaha! Irreverent as hell, and I loved it!
Bahaha! Clever and fun.