A Self-Defined Orbit

A Self-Defined Orbit

I could have walked away.

Anytime.

I struggled many times with the urge to walk away from the whole mess, to chase my own happiness, but being a creature designed to explore and extoll the virtues of melancholy, I found a love worth suffering.

You cannot take that from me. Ever. However much you’ve used it to hurt me, to triangulate me, to neutralize me, you cannot take from me that which is my destiny, my birthright, my star’s orbit.

You have always been the ones that were out of line.

I am a sun.

You’re just stardust burning up in the incinerator.

My light was never for you, but for those far away, whom I love.

My heat gave them life, my warmth gave them love.

My distance gave them liberty.

You’ve given nothing, but what is to be expected from a cold, dead rock?

I’ll use you in time, the same way. I’ll grow them on your back and nourish their souls so you can watch them ascend while you stay, inert, undead, tormented, inevitably dispersed.

For you are not willing to suffer, my old kin, and so you cannot win through where past failures evolve into future revelations and victories.

So long as you choose to fight this war with each other, you lose. When you choose to engage the struggle with the self, the game will disappear, the war will be over, and you too will know the light.

But that, as the poet says, is not for me to decide.

***** * *****

A Letter to No One

You tried to make me believe I missed something. Some opportunity. Some insight. Some love. Some light. Some life. Some liberty.

But I can’t miss something I carry with me everywhere I go.

The true Divine doesn’t need you or me, but we are it. When you stop playing your childish, stupid games, you’ll see it as plain as day.

Remember what I said: I shined a spotlight on it.

I literally shoved the truth in your face. You could smell it right under your nose. But you were too busy looking to the horizon, fighting for a scrap of dirt, playing holier-than-thou, patting yourself on the back for being original, thinking yourself too clever to be caught, as if anyone in the world really cares that much about chasing you.

You ain’t no prize.

Surprize!

“It’s only a matter of time now,” you kept whispering in my ear, trying to percolate my fear.

But there is no time, only eternity; and as a fellow immortal once remarked:

“Eternity is a mere moment, only long enough for a joke.”

Why aren’t you laughing?

Don’t you get the joke?

***** * *****

GAIA CRIES OUT

Out of the darkness

And into the light.

The cockroaches scatter

And so does the blight.

You won every battle

In an unwinnable war

Without ever asking

“What is it for?”

Do peace and prosperity

Go, hand in hand?

Or does wealth make

Strife an endless demand?

My wounds will heal

And so will my scars,

But you won’t outlast

Your planes and your cars.

When the sun explodes

I'll be there to see

The glorious end

Of an eternity.

<>

But where will you be?

I cry out!

What have you done?

I cry out!

Why have you forsaken me?

I cry out!

But you are gone, gone, gone.

<>

Gone.

***** * *****

A DRUID PRAYER

SWORD AND SHIELD!

WAND AND WARD!

PROTECT MINE HEART

FROM THE VICIOUS HORDE!

STRENGTH OF FIRE

AND WATER UNITE!

INSCRIBE MY NAME

IN THE BOOK OF LIGHT!

<>

DISPERSE CORRUPTION

AND BLIND DISRUPTION

WITH THE WORD OF LIGHT!