Dipping My Toes in Social Transitioning

My first chest binder was from Gc2b. And I absolutely loved it when I had it. It was one of the coolest things in the world. A step towards me becoming the person that I wanted to be. In all honesty, it was by far the most wonderful moment for me. Even though it wasn’t all that comfortable.

And Gc2b is kind of trash in quality lately.

Ordering it was terrifying for me. At the time I wasn’t out to my brother or mom just yet. But I came out to my mom before it arrived. Which was its own terrifying time. Luckily things had gone well for me when I told my mom about it. Sometime later when my binder came I told my brother that I was a trans man. On April Fool's day. It sort of wasn’t the wisest idea in the world but at least I had a day to fall back if went poorly. Though it didn’t come out all that poorly in my opinion. It had sort of gone alright. Sure, he isn’t all that supportive of me but at least he wasn’t outright cruel to me or called me terrible names.

Any rate.

Soon as the binder came, I was so happy. Tried it on in the bathroom of our trailer and it was amazing. Sure, I couldn’t breathe all that easily. But it fit and I looked good in my own opinion. My breasts were bound to the point that I didn’t feel dysphoric anymore. This made me feel like the person that I saw myself as. Even if the picture was silly and not that perfect when I took it.

In fact, it looks really goofy.

But I’m still proud of this picture despite how silly it looks. The first binder out of the six others that I had bought. Still have it despite not wearing it that much. A few times a year I will wear it for nostalgia’s sake. And it doesn’t feel all that amazing. I still love wearing it and reminding myself of how things have been six years after this picture. I’m still the same goofy dude I was when I took this picture. Just no longer live in Maine. And not living in a trailer anymore. Though for different reasons that aren’t all that great in my opinion. Which is strange that I miss living in a trailer park. As I kind of miss my former housemate and his goofy orange cat. Along with a few other cats that lived around the place. This isn’t about them or that. And I hadn’t come out to my former housemate when we lived together.

I might sometime.

Anyway, without this first binder I wouldn’t have the confidence to buy the others. Or to wear them more often than I had in this picture. Such as nowadays when I’m wearing it for my full shift at work. It’s completely healthy in case anyone is wondering. It’s well within the thirteen hours that I’m supposed to be wearing it. And luckily my ribs are fine. At any rate I am grateful for where this first chest binder has gotten me. Even if I’m not using it as much as I had when I was living in Maine. It is still something that I love and adore.

It was the proper catalyst for me to start socially transitioning now. Such as buying more guy clothes afterwards. Getting a more masculine haircut as well. Which is something that I hope to get this summer at a good haircut place. Hopefully as cool as the one in this picture. But probably not that color ever again. It was way too difficult for me to do back then and probably will be now.