Woman's Best Friend

My card got declined at 7-11. The cashier watched as I went through the stages of grief, staring at the snacks I could no longer eat. My pride had me assure everyone that it must be some sort of mistake. (It wasn't)

I apologized and walked towards the sunny day that mocked me with its perfection.

Beast struggled to wiggle her way out of my arms the second we stepped outside. I set her down on the ground and she shook out her freshly groomed shih tzu fur.

She stared up at me with her round black eyes as if to say, “What now?”. I leaned down to pet her, running my hands across her tan and white coat. At that moment, I wished our roles were reversed.

I had it all planned out. I was going to go to the park with my dog to try and get some writing done -- emphasis on ‘try’. Inspiration had been hiding from me.

But all I wanted to do was curl up underneath a blanket and sleep the day away. I was broke, hungry, void of creativity, and I drew my eyebrows on too thick. Add a mustache, and I would have looked like a sad Groucho Marx. It was not my day.

I scratched behind Beast’s ear, and she smiled. She looked so carefree and happy. A thought occurred to me.

What does Beast want to do?

I held her face in my hands and looked deep into her eyes for the answer. We had a telepathic conversation that only a dog and their owner could share.

A few moments later, we started heading towards the park.

It’s what Beast wanted.

The park looked like a movie set. Everything seemed so perfect, it felt fake and manufactured somehow. Happy kids laughed and screamed with delight as they ran around the playground. Giggling toddlers were being pushed on swings by attractive young parents. Couples in love walked hand in hand around the grass field. Was I at a park, or the middle of a medicine commercial?

I felt like an outsider, intruding on a scene where I didn’t belong.

Beast belonged though. Everywhere we went, people would stop and smile at her as we walked by.

Occasionally people would address me, too. I wasn’t in the mood for small talk, but they asked questions I could answer on autopilot.

“Awww, she’s so cute. What breed is she?”

“Shih tzu and Pomeranian”

“How old is she?”

“One”

“What’s her name?”

“Beast”

People normally laugh when I tell them that my cute 10-pound puppy is named Beast. I did that on purpose -- the reactions never get old. It’s an inside joke I now share with hundreds of strangers.

We settled at a picnic bench at the far end of the park. I took out my laptop and began my ritual of staring at a blank document.

Beast started to get restless. Usually she would be content laying at my feet while I read or write, but that afternoon was different.

“What is it? What do you want, Beast?”

She looked at me at the mention of her name, and then back towards the grass. With no food or person nearby, she made it clear she just wanted a little bit of freedom.

I bent down to unclip her. The second she was unleashed, she took off running.

She glided over the blades of grass and zoomed around in circles.

A foreign sound escaped my lips that took me by surprise.

It was laughter.

Beast looked graceful yet crazy at the same time. Like the kids on the playground, she was embracing the day and having the time of her life.

It looked so fun. I started to get jealous.

5 minutes, I thought. I planned to spend 5 minutes playing with my dog and then it would be back to work.

I left my stuff at the table and took off running after her.

I felt a little foolish at first as I ran around like a madwoman. Beast enjoyed my company, though.

She started playing a little game with me. She would stop in the grass and lay low, her furry tail in the air wagging back and forth. Her eyes said Come and get me.

When I got closer to her, she ran in the opposite direction.

And again she stopped, waiting for me to approach her. The second my shadow touched her face, she’d run away.

5 minutes turned to 10. And then 20.

There we were, just a girl and her dog playing at a park in the grass on a sunny day. A pure, innocent glow filled up my body. I felt like a kid again.

Thanks to Beast, I had started blending into the picture perfect day that had made me feel so out of place. It was almost as if she knew exactly what I needed the most.

That winter was one of the worst seasons of my life. But as Beast and I played together that afternoon, she reminded me of the small experiences that made life worth living.

I forgot about the snacks and my eyebrows. Being broke and uninspired didn't feel like a problem anymore. Nothing did.