Cali Georgia

Memory, such a treasure to our minds. The ability to hold onto our most beloved and most horrific events in life is extraordinary. Our brains can create these sort of movies, we can remember them how we want to, slow them down, replay something, and pause. Holding onto dear things like: a snowy Christmas, a favorite movie, the smell of grass is early spring; memories are complex and can sometimes confuse us, but they are so beautiful. You ask me to retrieve a singular memory I share with my pet. That I cannot do, I will not limit myself to appreciate only one simple event; especially since her existence lies only in my memory. Cali Georgia, was her unique and divine name, a mix between a Lab, German Shepherd, and possibly a dash of pit bull. She was a curious dog, incredibly tiny, enchanting emerald toffee eyes, and clean pumpkin fur. She grew each day into a warrior, she was extremely fierce, and had no hesitation in protecting my family and I. Along with her loyalty though, came some misunderstanding. She did not take kindly to strangers or people who were not in our immediate circle. She was labeled ‘crazy and mean,’ my own family thought she may be somewhat slow, clumsy, unkind, and above all odd. Though it could highly attribute to the fact that for a little time, she was no longer our only dog, she acquired a baby brother; an adorable, sweet, baby teddy bear dog. The sting of jealousy panged inside her, something I, being the oldest of four, can completely cope with and understand. They still loved her and treated her well, but I gave her more love and the attention she deserved, she affection she patiently waited and craved for. Her oddness was just exactly why I liked her the most, she was more intelligent than what was led on; she had dignity, boundaries, and she knew her worth. There was always a special bond between us; we were powerful, and strong, and not to be messed with. I felt safe with her, whether I was walking alone, or I needed her to cry to. She may not have been someone’s first choice as a pet, or seen as adorable and fun. But she had the biggest heart and gave so much love. Behind all her confident warrior energy, she had a secret. A secret that she kept hidden for six years, no one knew of this, and to this day I wonder if even she knew. That secret was revealed as a sudden eruption of pain and grief. She left me the very next day, she was too young, too kind, to fragile for this world. I wished I could’ve kept her with me, but she left before I got to say goodbye. I couldn’t save her on Earth, but I could allow her to be free. I had to stop my selfish thoughts of keeping her company, I had to understand that she couldn’t stay, she had to go. A short lifetime cut, so she could live amongst the goddess of life. As I said before; her existence lies now, only in my memory, I shall go on living the remainder of my days with her absence, only to see her again. Although these memories are purely precious to me, I wrote about them to release. I need to let go of the pain and the sadness that haunts my soul. There was nothing I could do, but now I can change. It does not do well to dwell on the past; I’d soon go mad. Enjoy the memories, but please know they’re only memories. Move on and move forward in life, create new ones and remember, they’ll always be safe.

To my sunshine, I’ll love you forever.

Cali Georgia Bolton