Your Past Does Not Define You

Everyone has a story. I have had the pleasure to visit many countries in my life so far, and I can say with certainty. Life happens to all humanity.

From the mom who lost her child, to the man who was robbed of his childhood. Whether a struggle was race, age, or religion related, I have heard just about every story known to mankind, and I am not talking about Hollywood stories either. Real people, real stories. One of the main things I learned is that depending on who you speak with, the actions after challenges and burdens are different for every person. Some face issues gracefully, calmly, and rationally. Others cannot handle winding roads and end up spiraling out of control. In any case, I find that the most important thing is not to let the past define who you are as a person. Some of us have been to jail, been divorced, lost everything because of bad chives, and might have even hurt someone in the process.

We cannot let that continue to follow us like a cloud full of rain. There comes a point in life where we have to decide to let it all go and start over or move on. One of the biggest mistakes people make is letting past happenings narrate their story when, in reality, they are in charge of changing the narrative.

Someone very dear to my heart (I cannot be specific for personal protection reasons) and I were both molested by our grandfather. I remember the first time I found out about my dear friend, who is two years younger than me. At the time of this God-awful happening, she was five, and I was seven. While I had endured his tyranny for several years already, I was oblivious to the fact that it could have happened to someone else in our circle. For whatever reason, that day, when I found out, I mustered up all the anger, sadness, frustration, and whatever else emotion was confusing me at that time. I went to my grandfather, threatened him with his life, and swore to my dear friend it would never happen again.

Now we both had experienced the same life-altering abuse, but unlike me, my friend was never able to shake this occurrence. She started taking drugs in her early teens and eventually also started drinking. While I stayed as far as possible from men, she would throw herself at them. It was a vicious circle of misery for her, and she never took a stand to make changes. I have not spoken to her in years and hope to God her life turned around for the better.

The point I am trying to make is that depending on how you handle the aftermath of a bad experience will determine your future. I knew that I was not going to let him have the upper hand, He had already taken enough from me, and I knew that I had to become successful and happy to defy him. He would always tell me that I mount to nothing, and I would one day make a good prostitute. That was never going to happen because I was determined to prove him wrong. I got my master’s degree and started a very successful company.

If I can do it, so can you. As I said earlier, we all have a story, and you control how the story ends. Don’t be paralyzed by fear and past events. You are so much more than that. Focus on what matters and your strong points. Make a difference in someone else’s life. And prove to yourself that you are not defined by your past but by your present actions. Release any anger, unforgiveness, resentment, or anything that may hold you captive. Life is so much better when you realize that mental freedom is the most liberating feeling in the world.

No person is worth wasting precious energy on if they have done you wrong. Let it go. You have a life of happiness, health, joy, and peace to live.

Leave the past in the past and start creating your perfect future today.