Your journey to heal begins here

Every other day you are reminded of your troubled past, however you still push through. Whether you use music, art, sports, or even your biggest support system you still mange those times of hardship. I’ve dealt and still do to this very moment deal with my own demons from my past. I managed with music, habits, & the people I get comfortable talking to. Sometimes even that isn’t enough to really heal.

The biggest problem I’ve had with my journey is avoiding the process of healing from my wounds. I push people away and even convince myself that I have no one there for me, when in reality, I do. I always thought that unless someone has actually been in my shoes that they can’t sympathize or understand the pain that I feel, and that their comfort isn’t enough because of it. I’ve had to push those thoughts away to allow myself to see that I am strong enough to get through my lowest moments. It’s not a process, but a journey that never ends and because life still goes on you can’t mope around allowing yourself to relive that pain.

I used to have crying spells, where I would just cry or become depressed out of nowhere, those moments I used to feel even worse and more alone. I didn’t know why I was crying or what was wrong, so talking to someone made me feel misunderstood, because I didn’t even know what was wrong. After having frequent unexpected crying spells, I eventually just allowed myself to cry and feel all the pain and sorrow I was going through, because I knew it was coming from somewhere deep down that was once avoided. These moments made me have a lot more clarify and had given me strength to heal.

Being alone and crying, writing, listening to music helped my journey of healing. Allowing yourself to be in tune with what you are feeling and understanding that your body needs to release what you have buried so deep. Sometimes even stay in your home from a couple days away from others can help you find clarity, to allow yourself to care for you. When people surround themselves with other people all the time they are trying to avoid that problem, but avoiding doesn’t do anything good. I learned this myself, the hard way, I was becoming a ticking bomb from every little incident that didn’t go as expected.

Don’t allow others to tell you that you should get over it or it happened so long ago you should have dealt with that situation already. Your journey isn’t theirs and everyone deals with things their own way. I hope me sharing my journey has helped someone out there. Take it easy. Take it slow. Have faith & grow.