You’re Too Nice

You’re too nice! Uggg the stigma of perfectionism. Have you ever been told, “you’re too nice” and gotten angry about it? That statement was said to me over and over again since I was a child and I remember hearing it from the time I was about six years old, then into young adulthood, then in my 20s and into my 30s as well and I just got absolutely so sick of hearing it that made me intensely, voraciously, stupidly angry! You might be asking yourself, “Why? Why would that make you angry? Isn’t that such a wonderful thing about a person?” Well, it’s supposed to be a wonderful thing when someone tells you that you’re too nice, although for me (for years) it only meant that people were taking advantage of me and walking all over me and just basically trampling all over who I am and what I am about, which is an absolutely awful feeling. It has taken me years to overcome feelings in which that statement made me feel worthless as a person. It’s amazing how three simple words can make one individual feel so sad and horrible about oneself. Words ARE POWERFUL. This also brings me to the ridiculous myth about how A LOT of people believe “nice guys/girls finish last” and I feel that is just absolute BS, because the strength of a person comes from kindness, niceness, and being an overall good human being to yourself and others consistently. I have done a lot of personal work to come to the understanding that being “nice” is truly, most definitely an absolute strength, not only for myself but others in my life. I would LOVE to hear stories from others who share my opinions about “niceness” because I am a W.I.P. which is a “Work In Progress” everyday! Recently I heard someone say something very powerful that resonates with my soul which is pushing me to make some changes that will catapult me to a different level in life and I feel deeply passionate this is true - “It’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice!” 49 years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope in a journey of happiness, sadness, disappointments; oh SO MANY disappointments, love, loss, anger, anxiety. The roller coaster of life always takes me back to “NICE” - and I will stay nice because it’s my super power. Why is it MY super power? NICE is my super power because of the fact that being the opposite of nice in life doesn’t get the desired results that I want in life. For example, being rude, being a jerk, or just being down right mean to others only causes fear, sadness, and anxiety so why would anyone want those feelings in their life? But unfortunately, I’ve encountered multiple people in my life who have those awful feelings every day and it is disturbing and disheartening. Fear is temporary and niceness is a skill that will kill fear! Dead in its tracks. There are those who like to lead with fear because they believe it can control others to their advantage and again, I reiterate the point that it’s nice to be important but it’s MORE IMPORTANT TO BE NICE! I grew up with a lot of fear and yelling, which causes immense and intense anxiety. But in a world that wants speed, intense accuracy and perfection, it becomes so disgustingly and immensely difficult to be nice all of the time. The reality is that in our human-ness we cannot be nice and happy 100% of the time 24/7 but we must strive for the niceness because that’s what brings inner peace for the mind, body and soul. Unfortunately at times, the world is not nice and tough situations in life can beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. Well, I will not let the ugliness of the world beat me down because I am nice. Once again, I stress the point that being NICE is at the core of goodness in life and it is ultimately my super power for life. Have a nice day!