Why You Should Not Tell Everyone Your Personal Problems

When we have good news or bad news, we want to share it with people. Unfortunately, not everyone is on your side. Some people will undoubtedly take your personal information and hold it against you, either then or later.

Here are some reasons it is unwise to share sensitive information with everyone.

Personal News Might Be Held Against You

Some people will listen to you when you share personal information with them because you need a sounding board. It is not unusual for people to hold that information against you later. They throw it back in your face by saying, “Remember when you told me...”

Some Might Put Their Own Spin on the News

When you share sensitive information, some people might put their own spin on it and embellish it to make others think you are the scum of the earth. They put you down to make themselves look good.

Some Might Rejoice Over Your Bad News

It is hard to swallow, but some people enjoy it when you are down and out. They actually rejoice over your bad news. They like blowing out your candle, thinking it will make their candle burn brighter.

Common Reactions

Sometimes you might tell your family members and friends something, thinking they will offer you some solace or positive advice at the time. However, it turns out to be just the opposite. They use your personal information as talking points in their next conversation with someone else.

The person shames you while gasping and saying how horrible the situation is, and admits that you should be ashamed of yourself for letting it happen that way. You are blamed for your own discomfort.

A friend might listen attentively, giving you the impression that he cares. Before you finish your story, he cuts in and tells you what you should have done or not have done. He starts his statements with “If I were you” or “I would have done it this way.”

Sometimes people will make you feel bad by asking, “What did you do to cause the problem?” Or “What part did you play in that misfortune?”

There might be someone who doubts you and says, “You must be kidding. I know that didn't really happen. You must have made that story up.”

There might be a person who uses your bad news as an opportunity to get one up on you by saying, “That’s nothing. Listen to what happened to me…”

There are other scenarios, but the ones above are enough to get you to reconsider telling certain people your problems.

True Confessions

I shared some very personal information with a next-door neighbor. Both of us attended the same traditional church at the time. On a Sunday morning during testimonial time, the neighbor stood up and shared my personal information with the entire congregation. She tried to camouflage it in codes, but people knew she was talking about me. She used phrases such as “my next-door neighbor” and “that woman.” Her point was that she helped “that woman” with a very personal problem, and she stated exactly what the problem was. She used my very sensitive information to elevate herself.

In another instance, I shared some personal information with my pastor, and he used it as an illustration in his sermon the following Sunday. He used so many references about me that after the service was over, several people came to me and said they knew the pastor was talking about me. Then they began asking questions to fill in the gaps the pastor had left out.

Once, a person called me on the telephone and complained about “someone.” During the conversation, I sensed the person was talking TO me ABOUT me. When I asked her if she was talking about me, she confessed that indeed she was. How awful!

I have experienced all the above and many more like those. That's why I can say with certainty that I have learned to be careful about sharing personal information with everyone.