Why telling your goals is secretly destroying your success

Everyone knows that one guy who, on New Year's Eve, proclaims to all his friends his ambitious plans to go to the gym every day, or wake up at 7:00 AM every morning for the whole year. And they go and buy new workout clothes, install habit tracking apps, and are elated by the prospect of becoming that awesome person they've always wanted to be.

In fact, they're so excited about it. It's as if they actually … did something. But before a single day is completed, they'll bombard you with incessant monologues about all the benefits they're going to experience, and how life changing it's going to be. But you almost can't help but roll your eyes, because you know they're just talking about it, not actually doing it.

Life lesson

One of the things I've learned over the years is that nobody cares about what you say you're going to do, and you shouldn't either! No matter how much you flap your jaw, nothing moves, and having ambition isn't special. Almost everyone has ambition. Whatever your goal in life is, there are likely millions of other people with that exact same goal (unless you have like a really weird goal, like performing a puppet show on top of mount Everest or something) but telling somebody that you're going to do something isn't impressive to anyone in any way, it never has been, and it never will be.

Action Plan

So instead of humble bragging to your roommate about how you're going to start taking the gym more seriously, or start eating clean from now on, try giving your tongue a little rest and get a few days, weeks, or even months under your belt. Learn to embrace the process of pushing yourself and achieving things when nobody is watching, because after all, who are you doing this for anyways? Do you genuinely want to build a company, or do you just crave the patronizing “Oh, that's cool man, good for you” that you get for mentioning it?

The way I see it, there are only four types of people in this world:

1-Those who talk the talk and walk the walk.

2-Those who talk the talk and don't walk the walk.

3-Those who don't talk the talk and don't walk the walk.

4-Those who don't talk the talk but walk the walk.

I would argue that this final option is the best option you should strive towards, because :

The first one, those who talk the talk and walk the walk are usually annoying and they brag about the fact that they do things.

The second one, those who talk the talk and don't walk the walk are even worse because they pretend that they do all these things, but they're just talking.

And the saddest of the bunch, number three, are those who don't talk the talk and don't walk the walk, (it’s self-explanatory), they are just generally uninspiring crowd to be around.

And finally, number four, those who don't talk the talk but walk the walk, these are the coolest people on planet Earth. This is the guy who was absolutely ripped but doesn't talk about it. The guy who drives an insanely nice car, but few people know what he does for a living. His lifestyle is proof, in and of itself, of rigorous discipline, hard work, patience, etc., but he doesn't flaunt it, unless it's with a legitimate accountability partner or group that you take seriously. Speaking before you do is just a useless step in the way of doing. Otherwise, you're just seeking validation for something you haven't even done yet.

A personal challenge from me

Go achieve something you've always wanted to achieve, something you've been putting off for a long time, and something that would tremendously improve your life, but do not tell a soul. By doing this, it will dramatically improve the way you look at yourself, bolster your self-efficiency, and permeate all the aspects of your being and your interactions with others. It will be like your own dirty little secret. And trust me, if you do so, you’ll feel more confident, and you'll secretly know that you're a real high achiever, and most importantly, you didn't have to tell anybody.