Why can"t I make myself do what I want to do?

Have you ever wondered " What's wrong with me" " Why can't I make myself do what I want to do" I have asked myself this so many times, it has always been quite a struggle. I've spent years fighting with myself over this very dilemma. I had finally had enough of it, it was time to fix the problem. I started by researching the problem online. I found out I am not the only person in the world that has this problem, which made me feel better already. I ran across several reasons for this problem, some of them didn't feel like my issue. I read things like depression, ADHD, OCD, perfectionism, procrastination, executive dysfunction. I had to think and dig into myself to find the answer to this problem, which was not an easy task at all, but in the end, made all the difference in the world. So I got out the trusty pen and paper. I first asked myself " What is so hard in the task I needed to do?" Well, there was nothing hard about it at all. The thing I wanted and needed to do was exercise, I enjoy it once I get started, It gives me energy, and makes me feel much better, I sleep better at night, I have better balance, I feel stronger. It is also a necessity for me, I have a form of muscular dystrophy called CMT. I must keep my healthy muscles strong. So thru all these tough questions and honest answers to myself, I discovered that my problem was getting the task started, I was just fine after I got it started. I found out my problem was executive dysfunction. Well, there it was, it describes me very well.

So now that I know what the problem is, what can I do to fix it? I started researching ways to deal with executive dysfunction. I decided to make myself a to-do list every morning. That seemed to help a little, I then added using my timer and alarm on my cell phone to help me get started and to keep on track. That helped a little bit more. I was still not getting the results I wanted. I went back to my pen and paper. I asked myself what else can I do to motivate myself to do what I want to do? I wrote notes on my to-do list every morning. I wrote things like, " You can do anything you put your mind to " and, " just think how good you'll feel when you've accomplished your goals"

I thought, well I run thru the house every day and clean, It's not my favorite activity, I can sure think of more fun things to do. But, it's something that I have to do that I made a habit of a long time ago, and why? I want to live in a clean house for one, I would also be embarrassed if company came by and the house was a mess. I pulled that task off by making it a habit, the same thing still applies to that task, I did procrastinate cleaning the house, but once I get started I just Kick Butt and get it done, it doesn't take very long, and I feel good about it when it's finished.

What I came up with, in the end, was a to-do list every morning, I wrote myself encouraging and motivating notes to read whenever I needed to, you must stop the negative self-talk, all it does is make you feel worse about yourself, which does nothing to help you get to were you want to be. Self-sabotage is not the answer. It tears you down, you need to lift yourself up, and give yourself a break. Your human, your not perfect, you will have bad days and make mistakes. As the old saying goes, " If you fall off the horse, just get back up and try again" There's nothing wrong in failing, just don't stop trying, you get back up and try again, and again, You'll get there. A positive attitude will take you a long way. Using the alarm on my phone helps me a lot, I give myself an hour in the morning to drink my coffee and get myself awake and ready for the day, I usually read my motivational notes, then I get started on my to-do list. When I get my to-do list done for the day, then it's me-time, which I can thoroughly enjoy knowing I accomplished my goals for the day.

I hope this has helped you if you're having the same problems. I think the main point is to take the time and ask yourself the tough questions and figure out what will work for you. I needed to be honest with myself so I could solve the problem. It has done wonders for me. Just remember on your journey to be kind to yourself, everyone makes mistakes.