Why am I cynical about other peoples writings?

Why am I cynical about other peoples blogs and posts?

What about their work makes me feel annoyed?

Could I do better?

Are they just riding the wave of the latest fad or are they insincere in their intentions behind the writings they create and share with countless other people from all over the world?

No. The truth is I'm scared!

I'm terrified!

No matter how much I want to be a writer, I am in fear that my words have no worth, no value. That all these other people who are braver than me, who push through their fears and actually start to write and post those writings have more to say and more value in their words than me, even if they are writing about something so simple as, what they ate for breakfast that morning.

I live in fear that even that has more worth than my own words.

This is why I am cynical of others writings. Why I want to find fault in the words as well as the writer. Why I get annoyed that someone is out there living their dream, and I'm just too damned scared to do the same!

Why?

Why should I be scared to put pen to paper? or fingers to keyboard?

Why do I feel as though my words hold no meaning and no value?

Is it because because of that age old saying, "write about what you know". So what then do I know? Well to my mind that is fuelled by negative thoughts and self deprecation, I know absolutely nothing!

I know absolutely nothing. This is what my mind tells me. What do I have to write about? What knowledge or skill set do I have to impart to others?

Will my writings be of any interest to others? Who would actually want to read anything I have to say about anything? Will anyone find meaning, hope or even a little help from any posts I put out there?

Truth is, I would like to help in some way if I can. I think that is the beauty of all forms of creative expression, that they can maybe, possibly, bring a little joy, love and hope to someones day. That people can find like minded individuals and connect with them through their love of creative expression. (art, photography, language, words, writings, sculptures, dance, music.....all things creative, whatever inspires each indivdual).

I hope that my creative outlets help someone in some small way. Though upon reflection I think I write and create mainly for myself. To break through the barrier of fear and to step into a world, a reality of creating. To over come my fears, to prove to myself, that even if no reads my words, I can still write, and that maybe in writing I end up helping myself and allowing my self to believe in myself, and therefore be able to live in the joy of creating and being creative.

So here it is! In honour of all those people who write (and through doing so make me question my worth as a writer) Here is my first open and candid post about my self reflection. THANK YOU! You make me question myself and therefore I have to accept my own fears, in so doing I can let them go and instead of ignoring them or fighting against them, I can work with them and use them in my creative work. So thank you for helping me in my ever on going journey of sefl acceptance.

And to all those who write and creative in the many many other creative forms, THANK YOU!

Thank you for being brave and doing what you love and posting it out into the world.

Thank you for being you, for inspiring people like myself who are perhaps affraid of their own failure, or their perceived 'lack' in something to contribute to the world. We all have something worth sharing.

And in a world of Human error, mistakes and imperfection I worry about creating those in my life. I worry that my written words have to be absolutely perfect, in order for them to have any worth, and any interest for those who choose to read them.

Truth is, creating is about experimenting and being imperfect.

Perfection is only ever an illusion.