Why 2020 was actually the BEST YEAR OF MY LIFE:

THE SURPRISING GIFTS FROM A GLOBAL PANDEMIC...

So, I get it. This isn’t the most popular opinion. It's maybe even a little outrageous... perhaps even ridiculous... and definitely privileged to some degree... But I've got to say it. I really LOVED 2020. I really did! It was THE BEST. It was my favourite year in a long, long time...and I am just not as excited as everyone else seems to be to kick it to the curb and see it end and be over with....

I mean, I learned SO MUCH about all the ways I'd previously been existing that just weren't aligned with who I really am - and who I really want to be. But just because the year itself is over, doesn’t mean that the lessons are over too. I can take the gifts I received from 2020, into not only this New Year of 2021, but also...beyond.

So what did I learn? What were these ‘gifts?’

THE GIFT OF TIME...

I know that not everyone was gifted the privilege of extra time this year - I know that the health care workers, educators, grocery store staff, parents of young children, and many other people were actually busier this year than ever before. Like, busy like a beaver that was genetically engineered, modified and crossed with a bee... But at the same time, many of us, well MILLIONS OF US - suddenly found ourselves with a lot more time on our hands in 2020. And for me, this was such a HUGE BLESSING.

I have always demonstrated more likeness than I'd like to admit, towards being one of those stressed-out workaholic types, who “never had time” for friends, for family, or for self-care. Weird right - cause I'm a yoga teacher. BAH! (Aside: actually it's more common than you might think...us yogis are often A-type personalities who need to de-stress...that's WHY we do yoga). Even though I LOVE my job of helping others learn tools for holistic self-healing through yoga, meditation, and sacred sound; prior to 2020, I was constantly run off my feet, working 60-70 hours a week, just trying to make ends meet.

And then one fine day... all that changed. Like so many people across the world, I was suddenly not 'allowed' to work or teach in person. Now of course, not being able to work in pandemic times meant that my financial challenges were still...well a challenge...but suddenly almost EVERYONE else was in that boat too...and it...equalized things. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t want or enjoy that we were all unexpectedly “poor” - but all of a sudden it was no longer as shameful to have a low income. And even though I found myself with very little money, I hadn’t really ever had much money “before” anyway, and now I also suddenly had this huge gift of TIME sitting at my feet. Free time. Guilt-free, free time!

At first, like many people, I used that time to binge-watch way too many shows on Netflix...lol... Then, like many people, I tried to fill that time by being "productive," by “accomplishing great things” in my career, and by attempting to move my work online... Ugh the dreaded ONLINE SPHERE. But I found the sudden EXPLOSION of online offerings overwhelming. The online world had become busy and distracting, and to be honest - online marketing has just always just felt...'icky' to me. I know I've got to get over that one...this IS the new world we live in...but it's gotta be done in alignment with ME and MY VALUES...

So I just stopped. I stopped all the busy-ness. I stopped all the over-efforting. I stopped trying too hard. I stopped doing all the things I was told I should be doing by all those business coaches, by those friends and family, by even those weird online internet trolls. I stopped paying attention to anything that I didn’t really care about, or enjoy doing. And instead...I started discovering...

I started discovering the joy of simple pleasures. I slept in when I felt like it. I got up early when I felt like it. I ate when I was actually hungry, instead of when I "had the time" to eat. I went for lots of long walks in nature and made friends with the hawks, the blue jays, and the crows. I spent a lot of time just looking at the stars, and talking to the moon. I played my music...loudly. I danced wildly and crazily. I grew out my armpit hair and fell in love with the fact that each armpit grows a totally different pattern of hair swirls and curls - did you know that armpit hair does this? Check out this "lil' hair story" of mine - this live video on Facebook where I revealed my armpit hair for the first time!

And then, this hermit-like, previously workaholic-focused-yogi me actually found myself CONNECTING again with friends and family. Like REAL connection. Yes it was ON-LINE - and that came with its own set of challenges - but the connections I experienced this year, were so much deeper, were so much more REAL & AUTHENTIC, than I’ve ever experienced before. Because, well, for one, there were lots of others out there who like me, also had this abundance of time to connect . But I also think the connections were so much more real because we were all going through something...and we needed to talk about it. I found myself engaging in all kinds of Zoom video chats, hosting online JackBox! games, going to online dances, and of course engaging in lots of ‘old fashioned’ phone calls. In fact, I had a busier social life this year than I’ve had since college days....and even though it was online, it was DELIGHTFUL, PLAYFUL, CREATIVE, RAW, REAL, and well...UNIQUE!

2020 gave me the “permission-slip” I needed to just STOP ALL THE BUSY-NESS of my old life, and simply do exactly as I pleased. And then...well something rather magical happened…. When I started filling my time with the things I LOVED instead of filling it with all these “have to’s”...I discovered the secret to this ABUNDANCE-thing that everyone is always talking about…which leads me to my next gift from 2020...

THE GIFT OF TRUE ABUNDANCE...

2020 gave me a totally new understanding of abundance. I used to think that abundance just meant “money.” But abundance is about SO MUCH MORE than that. Abundance comes in many different forms. There’s time, and friends or connections, like I mentioned earlier. And those forms of abundance have now become much more valuable to me than money itself. But abundance can also come through in the form of ideas...of being in the right place at the right time...of new surprising opportunities...and of GIFTS!

So, I used to have a really hard time accepting gifts without SHAME. I think a lot of us actually struggle with this. We are taught that you have to do and acquire everything all by yourself. We are taught that our value lies in how much income we earn. We are taught that everything we do, has to revolve around having enough money to do it.

But 2020 taught me that this just isn’t true. As our global economy fell apart in front of our very eyes, and millions of people suddenly found themselves jobless - we all had to learn how to accept and receive gifts and other forms of help, from each other.

Because I literally had no income coming in, I had no trouble accepting help and support from my family, and my friends (and the government assistance was great too!). Their generosity warmed my heart, and I found myself being gifted with my housing and food, so that my basic needs at least, were being met. I recognize that this was indeed a sign of my privilege for sure. And yet, I could have declined the help, and stressed out, and continued on my "must do everything myself" mentality. But instead, I learned to ACCEPT the gifts - guilt-free. Because gifts are a form of abundance. It's all just ENERGY and an energy-exchange.

So what did I do with this energy? Ok - now here's the key to this whole abundance thing...all you need to move forward in your life with an abundance mind-set - is to have just enough money, resources and/or tools, for the next, exciting step! You don't have to already have everything required for your WHOLE dream - just for the next step.

And now because my basic needs were being met, I had not only the energy, but also the money, resources and tools to take my next, exciting step. I realized that I just wanted to give-back, help, and serve others in the ways that I could, with the tools that I already had, and with what I do best...teaching wellness through yoga, meditation and sacred sound. But instead of trying to charge for my teachings - because I knew that most people were like myself, and just didn’t have the extra money to spend on ‘non-essentials’ - I decided to give away a lot of my teachings for free.

And you know what happened when I started giving things away? People returned my gifts with gifts of their own - or paid me anyway! I received all kinds of sweet and loving abundance in the form of ‘tips,’ ‘donations,’ home-made products, or an exchange of services. When I gave my teachings away, suddenly more people were referring me to their friends, or recommending me to others, or sharing my posts and my videos, and I suddenly found myself with an abundance of new students, new connections, and even new business partnerships! Abundance, abundance, abundance!

I felt SO ABUNDANT with support and help, even though I didn’t have any physical cash. And yes, it’s true that even with the gifts, I still didn’t have any excess money to be spending on non-essentials...but I learned I didn’t and don't NEED those non-essentials anyway - which leads me to the next gift of 2020....

THE GIFT OF AUTHENTICITY...

This past year in 2020, we were all given a ‘wake-up call’ regarding what is truly important and authentic in our lives....and what truly ISN’T!

I mean weren't you getting tired of all the constant buying and selling...all the marketing and consumerist pressures to constantly buy things you didn't need, to solve problems you didn't actually have, in order to have this life you didn't actually ever want? I was.

But in 2020, we learned we didn’t need as much “stuff.” We learned how to live without a lot of things we were used to having - and we were OK. Yep - we even found ways to use less toilet paper (come on, this is a story on 2020, you had to know that toilet paper was going to come up...).

We also learned to go without hair-cuts. We learned how much we like wearing pajamas or track suits instead of designer clothes. A lot of us women learned how freeing it is to stop wearing make-up and bras! In essence, we learned how to let ourselves be authentically...us!

We learned to find new ways of entertaining ourselves that didn't require going out. I know, I know - we miss going out. But I don't miss going out to events or gatherings that I didn't really want to go to.

We learned the value of our lowest-paid and/or lowest-recognized professions, as they became our most-needed front-line workers: grocery store staff, cleaners, maintenance, health-care professionals, and educators.

We learned a lot about AUTHENTICITY. But most importantly we learned the value of authentic connection with others, and the importance of being together in-person with our loved ones - and yes, the importance of touch...of hugs...which leads me to another strangely surprising gift of 2020...

THE GIFT OF BOUNDARIES...

Though I can’t deny the importance of touch and hugging, I do have to admit that I actually LOVED not having to hug everyone!!! I know it's another one of those unpopular views again, but I loved the physical distancing that was asked of us in 2020. Yes, I know, I know, hugs and touch are important! They create much needed endorphins and they release oxytocin - the self-healing chemical that promotes loving feelings and compassion. But you can also get those endorphins from other activities. Check out this cool heart breath video for instance...

But - there's actually something equally as important, or more even MORE important, than getting those feel-good vibrations....it's called HONOURING other people’s INDIVIDUAL levels of comfort regarding physical boundaries. NOT EVERYONE IS A HUGGER! And this was THE YEAR for all us non-huggers out there, am I right? :)

Although most people see me as an extrovert, I’m really quite an introvert, and I actually prefer a lot of space around me. I only enjoy hugging the people I’m really close to - like my closest friends, family members, and intimate partners. I'd rather find still loving and friendly, but non-physically intimate ways to connect with those who aren't in my inner circle.

However, I’ve found among my extroverted acquaintances, and especially in the yoga and new-age spiritual circles, that HUGGING IS EXPECTED. It’s not only expected, it’s really frowned upon if you don’t want to hug or touch (or jump into a cuddle party!). I’ve received comments like, “don’t be so closed!,” or “you have to be more open,” or “oh so you’re one of those cold people eh?,” or the really disrespectful, “you must have been traumatized or abused in your past” - which, not that it’s any of your business mind you, but which is actually UNTRUE! I just prefer connecting with others I don’t know too well through non-physical ways - and that’s actually OK!

The thing is, people exist on a spectrum of comfort regarding physical closeness, and that doesn’t make any of us ‘good’ or ‘bad’ - nor even ‘closed’ or ‘open.’ It just makes us different. It's only through diversity that we can achieve true unity after all.

I can still be a very loving and open person without having to let you into my physical space. Likewise, a person who hugs and touches a lot isn’t necessarily loving, nor are they necessarily more ‘open’ (especially in regards to feelings or authenticity), and in fact, overly overt touching and hugging can actually be a sign of using others to get one's own needs met, especially when it’s without consent, and/or at the expense of others’ comfort. You see consent isn’t only do to with sex...it can and should be applied to all forms of connection.

But in 2020, I was no longer expected to hug. In fact, in many settings, it was no longer even allowed. And what a relief! 2020 gave us introverts and/or non-huggers out there a break from the expectation of physical hugging, and it’s shown us a new way of behaving in life. I've learned I actually have the RIGHT to honour and express my own BOUNDARIES. But that's the kicker isn't it...I've actually got to express my need and preference for those physical boundaries. 'Cause once all this pandemic stuff is over, those hugger-types are going to be coming out in FULL FORCE. It's not up to them to not hug me - it's up to ME to communicate my BOUNDARY.

And so this year and moving forward, I absolutely intend to honour this boundary of mine and to never go back to ‘forcing’ myself to hug others in order to meet their expectations.

And speaking of physical boundaries...wow...did the physical distancing this year ever contribute to another very surprising benefit...

THE GIFT OF HEALTH ...

Now first off, I want to acknowledge that there were many people who absolutely, 100% did NOT experience the gift of health this year - the people who actually contracted the virus, or had long-lasting negative effects from it, or whose lives were actually lost and taken because of it. I know and want to acknowledge that this was not the healthiest year for everyone - and that many millions of people across the world did indeed go through some extreme challenges, losses, and pain.

But it’s very interesting that the year that gave us a new and very serious virus, was the healthiest year I personally have ever had. And I know I’m not the only one. For many people, this was actually the year we did NOT get sick...

Remember the common cold and the flu? Remember those old annoying tricksters? They nearly disappeared this year, and that is because of the extreme efforts we as a collective took to avoid the spread of Covid-19. So many people stepped up to the hero’s journey and focused on the needs of the whole (instead of just their individual needs) and were serious about wearing masks, physical distancing, and limiting social interactions - and just look at how much this has helped us to nearly eliminate the cold and the flu!

Personally, I usually get about three-four BAD colds a year. And I'm a yogi. I mean, despite eating well, exercising daily, taking my vitamins, and doing all the things I’m supposed to do to improve my health and immunity, every year before 2020, for as long as I can remember, including my childhood, I've been one of those people who get really bad colds.

Yes, there IS such a thing as a poor immune system. And it's not just the elderly, or the very young. I, at age 40, am one of those people who has a poor immune system, and despite my best efforts, when I come into contact with someone with a cold or the flu....I get it. And I get it bad. My colds knock me out for at least two-three weeks (and sometimes four).

But this year? This year I did not get sick once...NOT EVEN ONCE! And I really can't think of any other reason besides that fact that we, as a collective, were taught to STAY HOME WHEN SICK, instead of push through the pain and keeping going. I, for one, say “good-riddance!” to that former societal expectation to work through the sickness and I welcome this new health-focused, wellness focused, COMMUNITY focused mentality that we can all now stay home when sick. Like not only during Pandemic times...but for always and forever. If we are sick - stay the f&#! at home!

For one, it helps to reduce the spread of ANY type of respiratory or contagious condition; and for another, rest and relaxation help us all recover quicker from any type of illness. I mean, we all know that people are more productive, happier, and just all around better people when we are healthy. Why on earth did we ever participate in that out-dated belief system of continuing on whilst sick?

Another reason the cold and flu were almost eliminated this year is because if people DID have to go out while they were sick, like for example to get supplies from the pharmacy or groceries, if people did have to go out while sick....they were wearing MASKS! I used to live in Asia, and it was just common knowledge and custom that you had to wear a mask if you were sick. It still boggles my mind that there are STILL anti-maskers out there - because just LOOK at how effective masks have been at reducing the spread of not only Covid-19, but in almost eliminating the common cold and flu too.

I was SO GRATEFUL to be so healthy this 2020, and to not get sick at all, and so moving into this new year and beyond, I am committed to continuing to keep the health of ALL society in mind, by protecting others by staying home and/or wearing a mask if I’m sick, and by actually not allowing people who are sick with a cold/flu to attend my own classes, workshops, and trainings. People will recover better if they stay home, and it's time we as a society start to ask people, even after the pandemic, to do just that.

2020 has given us the gift of a new perspective on health, and on the need for us all to work TOGETHER to keep our communities healthy. We are beginning to understand that there IS such a thing as poor immunity, and that there IS such a thing as having physical and/or mental health privilege. Those out-dated beliefs on pushing through sickness are finally a part of the old world, and it’s time now that we ALL contribute to keeping each other safe and healthy.

BRINGING THE GIFTS OF 2020 INTO THE FUTURE ...

So yes, 2020 was a year of positive gifts for me. And I’m determined to bring these gifts with me into 2021 and beyond. This pandemic has certainly had its challenges, and they aren’t over yet...but I commit to embracing and INTEGRATING the gifts and lessons that this BEST YEAR of 2020 gave me.

I commit to embracing and integrating the gift of TIME that we are all given and always have available to us. I, like you, have always had this ability to better choose how I spend my time - but it took a world-wide pandemic for me to realize that this was a CHOICE - and that there are ‘better’, more joyful ways for me to be spending my time.

I commit to embracing and integrating the gift of ABUNDANCE that we are all given and always have available to us. None of us have to continue to place so much value on money, and disregard our own ability to attract the gifts, connections, ideas, and even the finances we need, to take just that NEXT STEP forward. It’s when we focus exclusively on money alone, and base all our decision on money alone, that we just never have enough of it. I commit to recognizing how abundant I already am, and to sharing in that abundance with others.

I commit to embracing and integrating the gift of AUTHENTICITY...to continue to show up in life how I really am, to continue to live a life I actually believe in and want to exist in, instead of trying to ‘fit’ into what the old consumerist society "sold us" on.

I commit to embracing and integrating my own personal BOUNDARIES and to give myself the RIGHT to express, communicate and act upon those preferences. I also commit to learning more about others’ boundaries, because each person’s preferences are unique and individual and VALID. No longer will I assume we all want or need the same things.

And I commit to embracing, integrating and valuing MY HEALTH and the health needs of our COMMUNITIES. I will stay home if I'm sick, or wear a mask (even after the pandemic!) if I have to go out when sick. I will also no longer allow my students to attend my classes if they are sick, because that would just put their classmates as well as myself at risk again for things we just don't need to continue exposing ourselves to. It’s time to model, and teach, true self and community care.

So 2020 - THANK YOU for these gifts. Thank you for the teachings. You may be over, but you will NEVER BE FORGOTTEN. And I’m ready to bring your gifts with me into the future - here in 2021, and beyond.