What's Your Why 2.0
Finding a reason to keep going when you don't want to
This is an older post from my blog, onecreativeschatter.com. It has been coming up in my thoughts a lot again, so I thought I'd reshare it. Lately, I've been struggling again with wanting to finish school. 2020 has taken a huge toll on everyone, and my story is no different. After driving an Uber passenger yesterday, I was encouraged to keep going. I'm currently re-evaluating my "why"... read on to get some inspiration if you're struggling.
We all do things for one reason or another, it’s our “why”.
How much thought do you put into your dreams, your goals, and your aspirations? Why are you striving for them? This question came up last night in class. We had a guest speaker and a recent grad come in to talk to us about school and our circle of influence.
We have a few classmates who have been struggling with going through our first semester. We are being taught the basics, and sometimes they can feel a little tedious and pointless. The recent graduate told us we need to think about why we are doing what we are. Why are we attending Paul Mitchell instead of any other school out there? Why are we going to school to become barbers and cosmetologists? He said, “Why are you here? If your why doesn’t make you cry, you need a new one.”. That struck a chord in me pretty loudly and made me tear up a bit with a new realization.
My why’s have been surrounding Adrian’s death for the past year and five months.
Why am I still alive?
Why do I keep going instead of following in his footsteps?
Why do I still talk to people?
Why am I going to school?
This list could go on for quite a while… but the answer doesn’t change for a lot of them, I want to make him proud.
After the first time the guy said, “Why are you here? If you’re why doesn’t make you cry…” my immediate response in my mind was, “To make Adrian proud.”. Nothing. For the first time, there was no emotion either way. He said it again, “… you need to find a new why.”.
“To make myself proud.” Wow. There it was. I broke through a massive block in my grief journey. Adrian was my biggest cheerleader when I got accepted to school the first time. He went out and bought me beautiful shears, saying I’d need the best tools. For the first time, I feel alright referring to him in the past tense. He was my biggest cheerleader, he’s not here now, but I am.
I am here. Why? Because I want to be.
Why do I hold on, even on those hard days when I battle suicidal ideation? Because I still have so much to live for and so much left to do.
Why do I still talk to people? Because I don’t want anyone else to feel like they’re slipping through the cracks. Because I love people. Because I want to touch the lives of those around me, even if it’s just with a smile or one kind word. Because I know that I can make a difference.
Why am I going to school? Because I wanted this before Adrian and I am more determined than ever to see this through! I want to become a badass barber, I want to take the male-dominated industry by storm, I want to achieve this dream so that I can be even more proud of myself.
At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what others think. They aren’t you, they aren’t controlling you and your decisions. Sure, things that are said or done cause an effect one way or the other, however permanent or temporary, but you are living with your choice in how you respond. You can either allow others that control or take it back and own it. My Adrian was my biggest cheerleader, now I am my biggest cheerleader, followed closely by my amazing girlfriend and family. That’s awesome! Ultimately though, the fact that I can now say the words, “I’m proud of myself.” is massive, and really, that’s all that matters.
Last night, I found a poem written by Andrea Gibson, called, “The Day You Died Because You Wanted to”. Obviously, the title alone punched me in the gut, but one line in it really hit home regarding my why realization.
So what I want most
is to live the rest of my life
desperately wanting to live it
I want to give that to you
I want it to find you in the nothing at all
And I want to be something
When I say, “I want to make something of my life”
That’s what I mean
So what do you want most and what’s yours why? Are you doing something for someone else? For you? Because you have something to prove? Think about your why, and if it doesn’t make you cry… go out and find a new reason, you won’t have to look very far.
About the Creator
Sasha Sparks
Just a small-town girl... in school to become a barber.
Working on my 1st novel about a high school girl who has always been a little different, but it's not your typical girl meets boy drama. She's been called to save the world. Literally.
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Introductions Please
Hey everyone! What can I say? I'm the new kid on the block and hoping to make it big, just like everyone else. But Sasha, what sets you apart? Well, there are a few things actually. So, I grew up in a very small town in northern Maryland. I spent 22 years in the state before moving cross-country for a relationship (that ultimately would fall apart) in Colorado. I learned a lot about myself during the relationship because I found someone who was hurting themselves and created a toxic space that I'd eventually see and walk away from. When that six-year relationship ended, that's when I started to flourish.
By Sasha Sparks5 years ago in Humans
“He Kept Going When No One Was Watching — And That Changed Everything”
No one ever noticed the days he almost gave up. There were no messages asking if he was okay. No one wondered why he became quieter. No one asked how much effort it took just to keep going. To the world, he was just another ordinary man. His name was Ayaan. Ayaan’s life didn’t collapse in one dramatic moment. It slowly faded. Missed opportunities. Rejected ideas. Silent disappointments. Every failure was small, but together they became heavy. He had dreams once. Big ones. Dreams that kept him awake at night, imagining a future where his hard work would finally matter. But over time, those dreams began to feel unrealistic—almost embarrassing. People around him seemed to move forward effortlessly. They celebrated promotions, achievements, and milestones. Ayaan watched from the side, smiling politely while feeling invisible. At work, his efforts were ignored. Among friends, his voice faded. At home, expectations weighed heavily on him. Slowly, a dangerous thought settled into his mind: “Maybe I’m not good enough.” That thought followed him everywhere. It followed him on crowded buses. It followed him into sleepless nights. It followed him every time he tried again and failed. One night, after scrolling through endless success stories online, Ayaan closed his phone and stared at the dark ceiling. His chest felt tight, not because of pain—but because of exhaustion. He whispered quietly, “How long do I keep trying?” There was no answer. But that night, Ayaan made a decision—not a loud one, not a confident one. A tired decision. He decided to keep going, even if nothing changed. The next morning felt the same. The same routine. The same doubts. The same fear of wasting his life. But Ayaan showed up anyway. He worked when no one praised him. He studied when no one guided him. He practiced when no one believed in him. Some days, motivation disappeared completely. On those days, discipline took over. He reminded himself: “I don’t need applause. I need progress.” Weeks passed. Nothing dramatic happened. No sudden success. No recognition. No miracle. But something subtle began to shift. Ayaan became calmer under pressure. He learned to sit with discomfort instead of running from it. He stopped comparing his journey to others. The silence that once scared him now became his training ground. Months later, a serious problem appeared at his workplace. It was complicated, risky, and easy to blame on someone else. Most people avoided it. Some pretended it wasn’t their responsibility. Ayaan didn’t announce himself. He didn’t seek attention. He simply started working. Late nights. Mistakes. Corrections. Learning. There were moments he wanted to quit. Moments when fear whispered, “You’re not ready.” But he answered back, “I’ll learn.” Slowly, the problem began to disappear. Not perfectly—but steadily. People noticed, quietly. One afternoon, his manager called him into the office. Ayaan expected criticism. Instead, he heard a question that stunned him: “Where did you learn all this?” Ayaan paused. How could he explain years of silent effort? How could he explain working when no one cared? He simply replied, “I kept going.” That moment didn’t change his life overnight. He didn’t become famous. He didn’t suddenly become successful. But it changed something far more important. His belief in himself. For the first time, Ayaan understood that life doesn’t always reward effort immediately. Sometimes, it watches. It watches who continues without praise. Who improves without recognition. Who grows in silence. Years later, Ayaan looked back at the version of himself who almost quit. The man who felt invisible. The man who thought no one was watching. And he smiled. Because he finally understood the truth: Life was always watching. Not to judge. Not to rush. But to see if he would keep going when it was hardest. The world doesn’t reward those who only work when they’re seen. It rewards those who build strength in silence. And sometimes, the moment that changes everything doesn’t come with applause. It comes quietly. After patience. After effort. After consistency. That is when everything finally begins to change. Final Message Keep going—even when no one is watching. Especially then.
By Inayat khan4 days ago in Motivation
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