What can I do in 2025 as a Vocal Writer?

Today is Saturday, January 11th, 2025 as I write about this Vocal website, what it means to me, and what I could possibly achieve with it this year. 2025 is the year of The Snake on the Chinese calendar, closing the year of the Dragon, 2024. Snake years are not my worst years or my best. Born in 1971 (The year of the Boar), Pig years tend to favor me. As I plotted my life's timeline I noticed a trend of my worst years having been Dog years. The year of the Dog does not favor me. I have a pretty safe road since the next year of the Dog does not occur until 2030. The challenge for me this year in 2025 (Year of the Snake) is to somehow make sense of the parts of my life that don't make sense. I mean I have to sail my ship regardless if the wind is going the way I want it to. That's not easy for me anymore. It's not that I lack what is needed (I have a good ship, a strong compass, and plenty of experience), rather my lack of motivation mostly stems for the emotional debris that I haven't cleaned up yet. I linger in that emotional debris. I must lift the anchor of my emotional debris in order to let my ship sail. Yet it has become quite comfortable just floating in one spot. As I've watched and endured the enormous amount of changes and difficulties of the past five or six years, my resiliency and survival became attached and comfortable with my emotional debris. Motivation is the sum of desire plus ambition. If I or anyone lacks motivation, either desire or ambition or both is missing from the equation. This lack of motivation is puzzling to me because as I look back on my life's timeline, I had been a very ambitious and motivated person most of my life, in childhood and in adulthood. Perhaps the word "ambitious" is the puzzling part. Perhaps that word has become to "ambiguous" to me at this stage of my life, therefore I can not clearly define goals or express my motivations. Ambition? Ambition is defined as the attempt to achieve something that typically requires hard work and determination. In a song sung by Cher (Believe) the lyrics are "Do you believe in life after love? I can feel something inside me say I really don't think you're strong enough." I guess Cher is singing about how after a love relationship ends, one has to be strong to move on and keep going. They have to find a new motivation for life besides love. That's not always easy. What I call my personal baggage or my emotional debris is another way for me to say that I don't have love motivating me anymore. Many people think that success from hard work is motivated by ego or lust or greed. Perhaps that is true, but for me in my life, everything I've ever done has been motivated by love. My family was for love. My motherhood (albeit brief) was for love. My marriage was for love and comfort. My career was for love and money. No matter what I did in my life, love was always a motivating factor. So what do I do when there is no love? Motivation? For what?

Do I want to use Vocal to write a fictional series? I could. Do I need to? Why should I want to because I really don't feel motivated? Do I want to use Vocal to make a name for myself? For what purpose? Do I want to use Vocal to pay my bills? That's not a bad idea, except that I doubt I could make that much here. Do I want to use Vocal to find love? I doubt that option more than the money. So what are my "goals" in writing and how can Vocal help me accomplish them? Goals? What goals? Why do I need goals?

I already mentioned that I do not practice the tradition of "New Year's Resolutions" and I have no "goals" for 2025. The status quo is fine with me. My life at this time is better than it was in 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021. After those four extremely difficult years, I'm just glad that 2024 and 2025 are allowing me to catch my breath, reflect, and relax for a bit. Think about this: How motivated can you expect a person to be after surviving the Corona Virus pandemic, living at four different residences in 5 years, going to the hospital about 8 times in the past 5 years, going through a divorce, surviving the destruction of three hurricanes that occurred in a three month span consecutively, and having your only child grow up and decide to not speak to you again. Hmmm? Motivation? Yeah, I have some motivation. I am motivated to NOT commit suicide. That's serious progress for me. I am motivated to take a shower, feed myself, wear some clean clothes, and do what needs to be done to get through the day. That's about the only motivation that has survived after the past 5 years I just got through.

I went to meet with a Gym Trainer today who wanted to tell me all about Personal Trainers and how that is a benefit that is included in my membership. I did not buy a Gym membership for a Personal Trainer. I bought a Gym membership because that is the best, nicest gym that has a swimming pool, a jacuzzi, clean locker rooms and showers, and a dance room. It was kind of him to want to inform me about those additional benefits, however I had to explain to him that I'm not the typical gym member. I'm there for the Gym, not my ego. I'm there to enjoy myself - not put more stress and strain on my mind or my body. I'm tired. I'm going to be 54 years old this year of 2025 and after the brutal 5 years that just passed completely merciless to my desires or hopes, I am just blessed or fortunate or lucky that I'm still living and breathing. I'm not going to waste my time on ambiguous notions like "goals" or "success" or even "motivation" when those terms have done nothing for me except cause grief and heartache.

Your abilities are yours and mine are mine. Your success is your story and mine is mine. Your definitions and truths are yours, and mine are mine. We may be equal under God and the law, but our stories are not the same. Our truths and desires are not the same. Our motivations are not the same. And you know what? That's perfectly okay.

I don't need Vocal to make me the next George R.R. Martin or J.K. Rowling. I don't need Vocal to make me a millionare. I know that Vocal can't make my son have a change of heart and decide to talk to me again. I know that Vocal can't give me the loving husband I had back in 2014 or 2015. Vocal can't solve all of my heartaches. But I can move on. I can sing back to Cher, "I am strong enough to believe in life after love." I don't need goals to be strong enough. I can simply enjoy the day and do my best on any given day.

I began my online writing (career) way back in 1999 on a website (called Epinions.com) that no longer exists. I've seen things come and go lots in my 53 years. I returned to writing online at Allpoetry.com in 2010. I have over 4500 poems written there. I've got almost 300 contributions here at Vocal. Though I've been here for four years, I'm not a contest winner. Though I'm a paid subscriber, I'm not usually found as a Top Contributor or Writer. That's okay with me. I like Vocal anyway. I think Vocal has a great platform, a great idea, and may very well be the new wave and the future of journalism. Yet my "love" of Vocal.media will not change who or how I am today. I don't need to set goals. I will write when I feel like writing. When I have something valid and important to vocalize. That's it, folks.