What A Difference

Yesterday was the first time in around 15 years that I actually returned to somewhere that I was raised by my parents to attend, back when I was a child. Unfortunately, certain online platforms, in which you can share stories and blog posts, prevent us from freedom of speech, so I can't mention of where exactly I returned to, however being a Sunday morning, I think you can gather where I returned to. It wasn't the same building and location I went to as a child, where I returned yesterday, in fact it wasn't even in the same city or state, but the atmosphere was no different to what I experienced in my youth. Now I am very much an introvert, so conversing and interacting with others isn't exactly my strong point, so it was a step out of my comfort zone as it was, but the decision to attend was one in which I believe I have needed to make for a quite a while now. I forced myself to overcome this discomfort however, and indeed made the effort to interact and converse with others. One thing I did notice though, was the atmosphere itself. It felt warm, it felt welcoming, it felt caring, and what I noticed most of all, it felt positive. Even though I was there by myself, not accompanied by any other family, friends, or associates, there was this inspiring vibe in the room that I haven't felt in a long time, and it felt wonderful. The discomfort of forcing myself to socialize, to converse, and to interact, all against my introverted self, was completely overcome through the positivity, love, and care, that was surrounding me within those four walls. I was welcomed with open arms, I had people wanting to share openly with me, I had people wanting to get to know me, and I had people who were showing genuine care for me. It was a total contrast to the people who I have had surrounding me, in my life, for the past few years. What a difference!

I cannot describe in words exactly the difference it makes to your mindset, your emotions, and your wellbeing, when you actually surround yourself with positive, caring, supportive, compassionate, and inspiring individuals. Driving home, I honestly felt great. As hard as it was to drag myself out of bed on a cold and wintry morning, feeling as tired as I was, I felt positive minded and uplifted in coming home from this place, two feelings in which I haven't experienced for far too long. As much as you try to hold onto those people who you truly do care about and love, yet who are constantly pessimistic and negative minded, it just does not do you any good whatsoever. When you walk into a room filled with those who are caring, supportive, compassionate, kind, and positive minded, you quickly begin to get an indication of just how mentally damaging certain other people are in your life, with their constant pessimistic, unsupportive, and negative minded attitude. There's such a huge difference in being surrounded by those who are encouraging, uplifting, and supportive, in comparison to those who are constantly trying to influence you away from achieving your goals, constantly telling you how to live your life, constantly criticizing you for every decision you make and action you take, constantly belittling you, constantly insisting you will fail, and constantly denying to offer you any support or encouragement. Sadly, it's this latter group of individuals who are more common in the world, and who love to surround us everyday, looking to breed their negativity.

I talk a lot about toxic people, who are of course exactly those negative minded individuals I refer to above, and the reason I do is because so many of us fail to identify these such people, let alone them remove them from our life. We need to have more awareness of who these people are, and then have the courage to actually part ways with them. Instead, we sit back and accept them, and we bear with them, because they are perhaps our partner, our family, our friends, our workmates, and so on. We love them, we care for them, we've known them for so long, we've shared some good times with them, and they have played a significant role in our life. Perhaps they have even helped us greatly at some point, or a few times even, but help doesn't completely form the overall attitude and behavior of a person. There's a difference between help and support. Help is the act of making it easier or possible for someone to do something, by offering one's services or resources, but support is to give approval, comfort, and encouragement to, whilst being actively interested in and concerned for the success of someone's goal. Help can be a one off, but support is enduring. Help is shallow if there is no genuine support behind it. We need to better understand what these individuals are doing to us mentally and emotionally. Are they constantly putting us down, or are they uplifting us and providing us with inspiration? Are they constantly encouraging us to pursue our goals and create the life of our own design, or are they making us feel bad for our decisions and insisting we follow their advice? Are they continually criticizing us, and gossiping about us behind our back, or are they motivating us, talking highly of us, and helping us grow? Do we feel regularly demotivated and dejected when they speak to us or message us, or do we feel inspired and driven? The simple measurement comes from distinguishing whether we feel positive or negative minded following a conversation with them.

With these above questions in mind, and even just having the awareness of our mood, emotions, and mindset, following interacting with these people, we should be able to easily gauge who the positive, inspiring, and genuinely supportive people are in our life, compared to those who are pessimistic, judgmental, negative minded, and just downright deflating. Who are those who are genuinely supportive and encouraging of your pursuit towards your goals and happiness, in comparison to those who criticize you and withdraw their support for you, because it inconveniences them, or it doesn't fit their agenda? Irrespective of it being an inconvenience to others, or whether it doesn't make them happy, or whether it doesn't fit their agenda, or whether it's not what they believe is best for you, your happiness and your goals are two of the three biggest priorities in your life, with health being the third. You need to always be ensuring the decisions you make, and the actions you take, are based around ticking these three boxes. You cannot be the best version of yourself if you are not happy, healthy, and satisfied. Every individual is responsible for their own happiness in life. It's not our responsibility to make others happy. We should always help, inspire, encourage, uplift, support, be kind, be compassionate, and be generous to others, but at the end of the day, we cannot be responsible or accountable for anyone else's happiness but our own. We want to be surrounded by these same, like minded individuals, who have the positive qualities that come with these same behaviors I just mentioned. We want to feel that constant positivity, we want to be held in that zone of positivity and upliftment, and it's simply because we want to be happy and fulfilled in life. We cannot attain that if we are surrounded by negative minded and toxic people.

It draws us to the elephant in the room. Once we identify those who are pessimistic, negative minded, and toxic, we will come to the realization that many of those such people are close to our heart, being people like our partner, family members, friends, workmates, and so on. For the sake of our own good, our own happiness, our own success, and our own future, we have to draw on the courage within ourselves to part ways with these such people. We don't need to be rude, arrogant, or abrupt about it, but we need to be honest with them and advise them that we don't believe they are being supportive, encouraging, nor beneficial to our mindset. Guaranteed they will get their back up, and they won't like it, and that will give you an even clearer indication that they are not beneficial to your mindset, nor your future, because someone who truly does care for you, support you, is motivational, and who has your best interest at heart, will apologize and genuinely strive to be a better person. It's so crucial that we surround ourselves with people who are positive minded, inspirational, and supportive, because the more we can operate from a positive mindset, the more efficient we will work, the more driven we will become, the more likely we will make wise decisions, and naturally, the more happier we will be. Our mindset is always going to follow suit to whichever environment we spend the most time in. You don't need to put up with other people's toxicity, and allow them to drag you down to the same level as their mindset. You deserve happiness, you deserve success, and you deserve fulfillment in life. You deserve to be surrounded by those who encourage your growth and development. Today's the perfect opportunity to note the environment you place yourself in regularly, to whom you spend the most time with, and to better comprehend what mindset and mood you're often in when around certain people. Don't be afraid to part ways with those who are discouraging you from achieving your goals and happiness in life, and a future of your own design. You don't need these people in your life, and it's when you walk away from these negative minded individuals, and surround yourself with those who are positive minded, caring, supportive, compassionate, encouraging, kind, generous, and inspiring, you too will notice what a difference it makes to your mindset and your life!

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