Wallowing is good for the soul.

Remember Gilmore Girls? That episode where Rory and Dean have broken up and she refuses to deal with it.

"You need to wallow," Lorelai Gilmore advises her daughter, Rory.

That really hit me, that show has such iconic dialogues and life lessons but this one hit home.

Crying doesn't have to be about regret, it can help to let go of that pain that has been piercing you bit by bit and washes away those personally curated demons that have been holding you back, remerging as a stronger soul. It is an important step of healing that doesn't make you weak, just resilient.

I know what you might be thinking, life does not have to be dramatic; you can get through it without “blowing it out of proportion,” but the thing is confronting your despair is not “blowing it out of proportion” rather, it is giving yourself the time and space to deal with the anxiety, frustrations, and insecurity, that has been buried in a deep dark corner, resurfacing at a trigger and dealt with a temporary fix. What is yours? Alcohol? Drugs? Angry outbursts?

Mine was projecting those emotions onto others by snapping at every uncomfortable setting I would find myself in. My anger would get out of hand and the words that it spurted out would often be mean, insensitive, and downright hurtful and the guilt that followed was just an unwelcome bonus.

Life is full of confrontations with uncomfortable circumstances, frictions that control your behavior more than you might have noticed, burying it transforms them into our own personal demons that run around in the shadows of our mind, clouding our thoughts and judgments.

Crying my heart out in the comfort of my privacy allowed me to deal with those demons. A good cry would mellow me right down and bring over a calm, that helped get everything else into perspective and which in turn stopped me from projecting my frustrations onto others.

Everybody needs help, life is unbiased; each of us has our share of pain, loss, insecurity, anxiety, and depression but we also have the strength to overcome them and crying doesn't bring that down, rather, opens up the doors to begin again.

Here some other ways, that may help deal with those negativities inside:

1. Talk to yourself:

No, I have not gone crazy, studies suggest that self-motivational talk may reduce and regulate anxiety and negativities that you may have about yourself, it directs your focus on the anger or frustration that you might be dealing with and helps break it down. Do this, stand in front of a mirror and look at yourself, what do you see? Allow yourself to feel what you feel, say it out loud. I am angry, sad, or frustrated because.... narrow it down, why these emotions have surfaced, and when you have, just take a deep breath and talk it through with yourself. I usually sit in front of my mirror and have a conversation with myself, it doesn't usually inspire a solution but helps to take the sting out of the problem.

2. Talk to a friend:

I have learned, that it is always better to communicate what you’re feeling to your partner, friend, or anyone you feel comfortable with rather than pushing it down and pretending everything is normal, it gives them the space to understand you and it gives you space, to allow your emotions to unfold and even get help if you’re incapable of handling it alone.

3. Go for a walk:

An oldie but still golden, a long walk has always done the trick to clear your head. That alone-time and private space are important, and you don’t have to feel guilty for wanting it. It is your right, it is not because you don’t want to share your problem, but because you don’t know where to begin. So, that walk really helps to understand and organize your thoughts. “The fresh air will do you good” is not just a saying, it works. Try it out next time.

Thank you for reading, I hope this article helped you and if you liked it, please do leave <3. It will encourage me to write more and send a tip if you're feeling generous.

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