Unfulfilled Expectations

To have an expectation is to have a strong belief that something will happen or eventuate, or that we will achieve something. Many times our expectations indeed work out exactly the way we had envisioned, and life is all hunky dory, however, there are also many times where things don't work out the way we had hoped and planned either. When we pause and think of our emotions at those times when our expectations aren't met, what are those feelings we normally experience? We naturally feel disappointed, we can feel hurt, we can feel sad, we can feel depressed, we can feel angry, we can feel agitated, we can feel inconvenienced, we can feel let down, we can feel betrayed, we can feel frustrated, we can feel unloved, we can feel unvalued, and we can feel annoyed, just to name a few. Basically, we are not happy about it, are we? These are all negative emotions and feelings, all triggered off the back of circumstances and situations not working out as we anticipated they would. These unfulfilled expectations happen on quite a regular basis to us, and because they happen so frequently, this frustration, anger, sadness, and the like, continues to build up within us. We become like a volcano ready to erupt, and because these unfulfilled expectations keep on happening, our emotions eventually do indeed erupt, and that lava of unhappiness, anger, frustration, sadness, and hurt, spills everywhere. The worst part to this is that we often take out these negative emotions and feelings on others. Quite often, in the spare of the moment, these feelings and emotions lead us to say things or do things that we later regret, because we fail to control them.

Yesterday was a classic example of an unfulfilled expectation for me, and I was extremely frustrated and annoyed about it when I received the news. I quickly took some deep breaths and calmed myself down at least, and refocused on my goals and gratitude, because I wasn't about to let my emotions and feelings get the better of my mindset. It's not an easy thing to do, controlling your emotions, but when you keep working on strengthening your mindset, and practicing emotional control, you slowly become better at dealing with such situations and circumstances. Basically, I had applied for something in which I ticked the box to meet all the criteria, and yet for some reason, which I am yet to find out why, it was declined. Without going into detail as to what this application is all about, it's a pretty significant deal for me, so to receive the decline was both a shock and a major disappointment. Naturally, I'm in the process of uncovering the reasons behind the decline, and I'm under the impression that some particular data has been misread or misinterpreted, because, as I said, I have met all the criteria, which has also been checked off by a third party as being correct and eligible. My initial expectation has now transitioned into hope, that this indeed was just an error, and will become just a slight inconvenience to me. It certainly had me thinking though about how we expect something to happen or eventuate, or a certain result to go our way, when so often, it doesn't work out the way we had anticipated whatsoever. It does beg the question though, why do we place expectations on everything in life? Why do we assume that things will turn out the way we had planned?

Think, for a moment, about some of those little things that frustrate you each day. Perhaps it's a slow driver in front of you that's making you late for work? Maybe you get every single red light on the way to work? Maybe you accidentally spill your morning coffee on your work uniform? Maybe your boss piles on some extra work on your desk that you weren't anticipating? Maybe you encounter a long wait at the checkouts in a grocery store? Maybe you arrive home after work, but your partner hasn't even got dinner started? Maybe someone turns up at your house right in the middle of your favorite television show? There are numerous little things that take place during our day that we simply don't expect to happen, be it because they don't usually happen, or be it because we envisage they won't happen, for some reason. Because we set these expectations, when things don't go as we planned, we become frustrated, annoyed, and even angry. Most of the time, these sort of daily unfulfilled expectations are so insignificant in life, exactly like the examples I mentioned above, but each time something doesn't work out the way we planned and anticipated, we become more and more frustrated. We start fooling our mind into believing that everything always goes against us, that we are unlucky, and we are not blessed in life. The funny thing, these are all just the little inconvenient and annoying situations and circumstances that regularly frustrate us, but let's not forget some of the more important outcomes that we place our expectations on, and how we begin to feel and react when they don't go our way.

Let's now think about some of those bigger and more important circumstances, to which we place our expectations on. We may have the expectation that when we marry our partner that they will be faithful, devoted, and eternally there for us, for the remainder of our days, only to discover a few years later they have cheated on us, or they leave us for no valid reason. We may have the expectation that we will receive a certain inheritance, only to find out the loved one who passed away didn't allocate us what we anticipated whatsoever. We may have planned a holiday, and set the expectation that we will indeed be going on that holiday, only to find out it has been cancelled due to a pandemic. We may have the expectation that we would be receiving a pay rise or promotion at work, only to witness another workmate earn it. We may have the expectation that we would win a certain event or competition, only to be defeated by our opponent. We may have the expectation that our best friend will be supportive and loyal to us, only to find out they have been talking badly about us behind our back. We may have the expectation of receiving finance to purchase our first house, only to be declined by the bank. Again, the list can go on and on. There's a lot of examples which I could reel off, in which can impact the next phase of our life, or our long-term future, or is something vitally important or dear to us. Once again, we have certain expectations of how circumstances will play out, and when they don't, it can be a massive kick in the guts. These are the type of results that devastate us, have us feeling incredibly upset, or hurt us in a big way.

Whether they be minor or significant, when we set expectations in life, we immediately set ourselves up for disappointment, hurt, and failure. As much as we like to think it, there are no guarantees in life! Nothing is ever a given. It doesn't matter what others may say, what others promise, or what we read, nothing in life is ever guaranteed. Just because we drive to and from work every day, without any mechanical issues with our car, doesn't mean that tomorrow our car won't indeed have a mechanical issue. There is always a likelihood that something unexpected will happen, no matter the odds. If we want to continually be disappointed, hurt, upset, angry, and frustrated, then placing expectations on everything we do, is guaranteed to deliver such emotions. There are undoubtedly going to be times where circumstances and events will inconvenience us, such is life, and that's why we need to shift our mindset from having expectations to appreciation. Rather than be constantly focused on all that doesn't go our way, all that doesn't eventuate as we anticipate, all the things we don't have in life, all the situations that go wrong, and all the negatives, we need to remind ourselves of all the blessings we actually do have in life. Sure, the car may have a mechanical fault tomorrow, but we should be appreciative that we even have a car at all. Sure, it's inconvenient, but it can be fixed. It's not the end of the world! Sure, your long time partner left you, and it's a painful experience to have to go through, but time heals, and again, it's not the end of the world. That love may be lost and extremely hard to accept, but what about the blessing of your children, the fact you still have a roof over your head, the fact that you have some wonderful supportive friends and family to help you in such a difficult time, and the fact that you have clean clothes to wear? We focus too much on the negatives, rather than on what we should be grateful for. It's not to say we can't be upset, or grieve, or be emotional, as we are only human, but it's so important that we focus on our blessings in life. Trade expectations for appreciation. Accept the events that happen to you, seek the opportunity within them, and be grateful for what you do have in life. Expectations will often become unfulfilled expectations, but appreciation will always lead to happiness and fulfillment.

#Friday #FridayMotivation #motivation #quote #expectations #appreciation #gratitude #emotions #feelings #disappointment #hurt #anger #frustration #pain #mindset #blessings #fulfillment #anticipation #plan #guarantees #circumstances #situations #events #positive #future #control #WindOfChangeNow