Understand Me

EVERYDAY IS A BATTLE TO STAY ALIVE AND MAKE SOME SORT OF CHANGE IN SOME SORT OF WAY. THERE WILL BE TIMES THAT IT JUST SEEMS LIKE THE WORLD IS AGAINST YOU, OR NOTHING YOU DO EVER SEEMS TO BE RIGHT. BUT YOU HAVE TO REMIND YOURSELF THAT IT HAPPENS TO EVERYONE. PEOPLE HAVE WAYS OF DEALING WITH THE THINGS THAT HURT THE MOST. IN MY OPINION THE ONE THING THAT HURTS THE MOST IS WHEN ONE SHOWS LOVE AND CONCERN AND YET THEY GET TREATED AS IF IT’S NEVER GOOD ENOUGH OR THE EFFORT ONE PUTS INTO DOING SOMETHING JUST GETS CUT DOWN LIKE A TREE. I’VE SEEN ENOUGH, HEARD ENOUGH, AND FELT ENOUGH PAIN TO KNOW THAT THIS IS ONLY THE BEGINNING OF HEARTACHE! YES THERE ARE TIMES THAT I JUST WANT TO FALL TO MY KNEES AND JUST CRY BECAUSE IT’S THE ONLY THING THAT SEEMS TO HELP AT THE TIME. BUT THROUGH IT ALL, I STILL WALK WITH MY HEAD HELD HIGH, JOY IN MY HEART AND MY DIGNITY. I HAVE TO BIG OF A HEART TO LET IT BE WALKED ON AND BROKEN. I’M SO TIRED OF PATCHING UP WOUNDS, WHEN THEY ARE JUST GONNA BE SCARED AGAIN. IF IT’S ONE THING I LEARNED ITS THAT I’M A HARD FIGHTING SOLDIER, AND THIS WORLD IS A BATTLEFILD. LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO BE ANYTHING BUT HAPPY, AND THAT’S JUST HOW I AM GOING TO LIVE MY LIFE. I’M TIRED…I AM SO TIRED! I AM SO GLAD THAT NO ONE PERSON HAS TO EVER GO TROUGH SOMEONE ELSE’S SAME EXACT SHOES, UNLESS THEY CHOOSE TO. I NEVER WANT SOMEONE TO EVER ENDURE THE THINGS THAT I HAVE, BECAUSE IT’S NOT FAIR, NOT FOR ANY HUMAN. I’VE WATCHED LOVED ONES PASS ON LEAVING ME BEHIND, AND I’M LEFT TO DEAL WITH THE PAIN. I THANK GOD EVERYDAY FOR LIFE, BECAUSE I DON’T SEE HOW I AM STILL STANDING. I NEVER QUESTION GOD’S WILL, BECAUSE HIS WILL BE DONE. HE HAS A PLAN FOR ME SOMEWHERE DOWN THE ROAD, AND AT THE END OF EVERY DARK ROAD THERE IS BOUND TO BE LIGHT.

HERE I AM A 24 YEAR OLD JUST TRYING TO MAKE THE BEST OUT OF LIFE AND TAKE WITH ME THE THINGS THAT I HAVE LEARNED ALONG THIS JOURNEY. I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD BE HERE, NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT..I’M NOT COMPLAINING. I’M GOING TO TAKE WHAT I HAVE AND WHAT I AM AND RUN WITH IT. THERE ARE THINGS IN THIS WORLD THAT IS FAR BEYOND MY REACH, AND I REFUSE TO KILL MYSELF TRYIN TO TAKE IT ALL ON. WHAT IS MEANT TO BE WILL BE..END OF STORY. YEAH, I MAY HAVE A SMILE ON THE OUTSIDE, BUT IF YOU ONLY KNEW WHAT WAS GOING ON IN THE INSIDE. THERE IS A PERSON WHO IS TIRED OF CRYIN, WHO IS TIRED OF ALWAYS TRYING TO UNDERSTAND WHY ME, WHO JUST WANTS TO BE HAPPY AND SEE THE GOOD IN EVERYONE. YEAH, MY FEELING ARE EASILY HURT..ONE WOULD NEVER GUESS IT BUT MY FEELINGS ARE VERY EASY TO BE HURT, AND BELIEVE ME ITS BEEN HURT LOTS OF TIMES. I AM STRONG BECAUSE MY STRENGTH IS ALL I HAVE TO KEEP ME GOING. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH CRYING EVERY NOW AND THEN, THERE IS NO LAW THAT SAYS YOU CAN’T. THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO ONLY MEAN WELL AND GOOD BY OTHERS, AND THERE ARE THOSE WHO DON’T THINK BEFORE THEY ACT OR SPEAK, AND WHAT COMES OUT OF ONES MOUTH CAN EITHER MEND OR DESTROY. EVERYONE HAS FEELINGS, AND NO ONE’S FEELINGS SHOULD EVER BE HURT..I KNOW MINE HAS BEEN HURT ENOUGH. BUT I KNOW THAT THERE IS A LIGHT SOMEWHERE ALONG THIS JOURNEY AND WHETHER I MAKE IT TO THAT LIGHT OR NOT, I REFUSE TO BE ANYTHING BUT HAPPY!