Under what conditions do people grow the fastest?

We grow best when we recognize that we need to take responsibility instead of running away from it.

People with neurosis often attribute their pain to the outside world. In their view, it is other people, bad luck, an unsatisfactory job, and other external things that hold life back. The anxious person thinks it's uncertain things that haven't happened yet that are bothering him. The compulsive thinks that life's imperfections make him insecure; The hypochondriac will blame all his problems on bad luck -- "how unlucky he was to have a physical problem"; Jealous people will think, "since you have been born, how can you be born bright?" How can there be people in the world who are better than them in all aspects.

But for therapy to work, therapists have to make patients realize that the reason they feel lonely, isolated, chronically anxious, obsessive, hypochondriac or insomnic is not because of chance, bad luck or genetics, but because they create or choose their own pain. The therapist must help the patient understand his or her role in the predicament. Unless the patient is aware of this, there is no incentive to change. Because if the patient always thinks that the pain is caused by external factors, why would he bother to change himself? In this belief, the obvious response is not to accept treatment but to find a way to change something outside yourself.

People are all alike in the face of prosperity; the difference lies in their attitude towards adversity. Of course, we cannot ignore the role of luck, circumstance or chance in one's life. The limiting effect of environment is obvious: Sartre has spoken of the "adversity index" -- the way people respond to adversity, their ability to face setbacks, rise above them and rise above them. Almost all of us face challenges in our lives. For example, there are many reasons that prevent us from studying, working or finding a partner, such as a difficult family of origin, physical defects, low emotional control ability, etc. But that does not mean that we are free from responsibility or choices in these matters. We are responsible for what we gain from adversity, and we can choose how we react to adversity. Guo Degang once said, "No beggar asks for breakfast. If he can get up early, he will not go begging." This is what it means. Even when all else fails and adversity persists, we need to take responsibility for our attitudes: whether we live with anxiety, compulsion, hypochondria, and envy, or whether we find a way to transcend adversity and rebuild a meaningful life, which requires not only wisdom but also courage.

But it's not enough to recognize the responsibilities you need to take on. You also need to move forward with your life and work.

A visitor complained to me about the endless work waiting for him. He had to experience 996 "blessings" every week, and he dared not neglect Sundays. I have countless tasks ahead of me in the next few weeks, all of them challenging, and I'm not sure IF I can do them well."

I do not know how to respond to him. I think about how I have been feeling lately. I have been busy reading, preparing for lessons, consulting and writing all day long, and I do not know when to stop.

Brush the public see song-wei li when the teacher's questions and answers, students mistakenly believe that he can easily understand the visitors, and are easy to identify effective interventions, but in his response, this is not the case, he even when exercise interventions requires repeated four or five times, and faced with visitors, he is honest, even if the careful preparation, Sometimes it is difficult to achieve a satisfactory effect.

We often fall into the trap of "why do I have to live so hard while others can have such an easy time". "There's no need to indulge in such self-pity. No one's life is effortless, maybe, but at least we're not. Since it's not, we're going to make the best of it.