Uncertain Fantasy

The longer I linger in the abysmal and obscure depths of ambiguity the greater the uncertainty of my future becomes. I’m afraid. Scared the expectations I set for myself in this lifetime are too high, but I refuse to settle for any less.

Will I accomplish everything I plan or will my life end alone, surrounded by sadness and disappointment like many others? I can’t seem to grasp what is holding me in this state of mind. I long to be freed of this nightmarish reality! My fantasies lead me to a time when I am taken away to a place where I find bliss within my peaceful loneliness.

I have every opportunity that I’ve ever dreamed of right in front of me, right now. But the unknown is frightening and I am anxious this fear may drive me further into the pits of my insane solitude. How will I ever break free?

How did I get here and what did I do to deserve this life? Deep down I know all the answers to the questions that constantly run through my mind, although I can never seem to find the time to process the entire world which surrounds me as deeply as I desire. I feel so alone on this journey.

It’s like I’m driving an endless road with no real destination in sight. I can’t predict when this will end and the thought of losing control of my intention messes with my mind. Where am I going? What am I searching for in this endless abyss of self-righteousness?

The load of the world tests me but I chose to survive and I do not choose to fail. Only I can make this choice. I rise above my own inhibitions and realize another day – fighting smarter and stronger than the last. My strength is drawn from the core of my existence, from the universe I was created and the earth guides me in the direction I am destined to follow.

Society tells me that I need to achieve their standards of self-worth in order to be worthy. Is the repulsion I feel at such an idea enough for me to break free to set and live by my own precedent?

The love I have to give is unconditional, this can cause me to be irrational. I feel deeply for every living being on this earth. My soul begs me every day to become what was destined since birth. It will be perilous but rewarding for every encounter and experience will be magical. Can I succeed alone? Only time will tell.