Two Simple Words

The sun of the eternal city beats against my skin as our bodies rest on a wooden bench in the middle of Piazza Cavour. The vibrant, clear sky hovers above the aged, stone buildings surrounding the park. Cars circle this tiny island of fresh grass, the sound of their engines fill the background mixing with the voices and laughter from the groups gathered in the piazza.

My head leans on a soft shoulder, slightly tired from exploring the city but more out of the full bodied calm stretching throughout my muscles. My internal peace is mirrored by a small boy kicking a ball to his father and his giggles seem to be the only noise to touch my ears now. A few months ago his joy would have been foreign to me, but now this feeling is familiar. The difference between him and I? He doesn’t fight the feeling. Instead, he embraces it wholeheartedly in the moment, without fear of losing it. I can’t say the same. I’ve fought joy my whole life. I would consume my days with worries, plans, stress, just to avoid any true feelings.

But in this moment, I was different. My eyes well up, my throat tightens, and I feel every emotion. I welcome it. A ball growing in my chest, and just as I think it can’t grow any bigger it melts into my body, traveling through each limb, each nerve, each bone as it coats my entire being. The feeling of being truly present and letting myself be filled with peacefulness and joy. I let it wash over me and I feel transformed. Slowly, tomorrow’s worries became insignificant. The need to control I constantly felt, disappeared. Even my urge to fight this moment of bliss, depleted. Nothing else mattered in this time, other than easing deeper into the bench and letting the sun warm my skin.

What would happen if I slowed down more?

This question has followed me long after leaving the park on that sunny day. A flash of fear would strike seconds after I even entertained the thought. Why be afraid of something that felt good? I know I’m not alone in this feeling, having an irrational fear of being present. As if the moment we decide it’s safe to relax our minds jump to ridiculous worse case scenarios.

But then I would think about the beautiful feeling that overcame me while watching a child be free and fearless of it. I knew I wanted to embody such power. So I answered my own question and this is what I learned - to be still and feel deeply is a gift. A reminder I am alive and capable of living a life full of joyful, easeful, pleasurable moments. Regardless of the unreasonable fears, it’s always worth giving myself permission to slow down, be present and listen to what comes to the surface. Who knows what could be learned or felt? For me, it was a valuable, life changing question. You can only imagine what it could be for you.

It would be misleading of me to make it seem as if one moment of clarity undid all of my negative habits and I never lost my way. Some days I would forget the necessity of slowing down, letting my body and mind catch up with each other. Then I would pay the price with days filled with irritation, confusion, and just overall sadness accompanied with a tight and achy body. Overtime, I learned to see those bad days as signs to remind myself, it’s time to slow down and check in. Letting myself have that moment has never failed to bring direction and help connect back with my body.

However I came to realize I wanted a more permanent reminder, before the bad days. Something that would remind me of the Italian sun on me, the safety I felt in Piazza Cavour, the playfulness of a little boy and the joy that erupted in me on a random afternoon. To never forget the power of being present and feeling all emotions, fearlessly.

I can now look at my arm and be reminded when I read the two simple words inked into my skin - live slow. The directness of this phrase echoes the clarity I receive whenever I see it. It’s as clear as it reads, no long winded explanations or tricks to find inner peace. These words are advice, a guide and a reminder of what I believe is at the core for living a fulfilled life. Every day I am still learning the lesson but I know that no matter where I go I can never forget, to live slowly.