TP The Pandemic

Although this thought has been on my mind for several days, it is the first time I have sat down to write. Writing has a way of forcing the feelings you don’t want seen recorded for everyone to see; it stains the paper with the ink of your confessions. I thought a lot about how I wanted to present this. Would it be better read in a clinical manner, such as a journalist entry with facts and dates? Or rather a poem with literary figures and emotions paving the way for understanding. Maybe a fictional short story would better encompass it all. Whatever the writing style, you can figure it out. All I know is what I think. What I think, in the light of recent events, maybe controversial and therefore unpopular but it is my opinion.

Coronavirus. Did your heart skip a beat upon reading this word? Did your eyes move faster over the word, after having seen it so many times, so you could quickly reach this point? Am I stalling, antagonizing you, or have you already lost interest? One word, with so many emotions. One word, with so many questions. One word. How? When? Where did this word create the world we are living in today? All those questions can be logically answered, and the news does provide all of them, however I still find myself questioning. There are people out there risking their lives to scientifically provide the formula for the medical practitioners to create a little shot or pill so save all of humanity. In the meantime, what is humanity doing? Humanity is shutting down. I am a college student. Over spring break, the Dean decided it was in the college’s best interest to temporarily close and use online instruction until further notice. It does little to affect me, however. International students. Students who can’t go home domestically even. Alone in their dorms. Stuck by the pretense of protection. Can they really protect them from the virus? Hasn’t it already shown us that it has no boundaries?

I question; What is the point.

I see faces:

a friend who has bad lung issues,

my elderly friends who suffer from chronic illnesses,

my grandpa who has always suffered from failing health,

my other grandpa who although is spry recently had a case of pneumonia and is unable to enter into the home he was applying to,

my parental maternal unit who suffers from Parkinson,

many people who have problems that I don’t.

I should care. If I cared, I would protect myself as well. Should I be worried. If I open that gate, the flood will never let me close it. Is it worth my insanity, will I be sane when this passes. The president has declared it a national emergency, and I understand; it is. Is it an emergency to me? How do I deal with something that is bigger than me. I can wash my hands until they bleed, scrub myself in boiling hot showers until I scream, is that what they want? Is that what I want. Every day since this, I have lived in a shade of grey. In a thick fog, I am lost but maybe that’s what I want. I’m only nineteen, a decade ago I was nine. Could I have imagined myself in this time? I want to imagine that my nine-year-old self would have sat in a corner and covered her ears, eyes tightly shut, mouth open in silent horror but I know that wouldn’t have been me. Refusing to move from this fog is more of a similarity to the nine-year-old I just described than I want to admit. How is it that that my nine-year-old self would have been more fearless than someone ten years her senior? I know it was because her insecurities were less than her determination and her security was founded in herself and not the consequences. It wasn't that she didn't have fear, it was that she feared less. So will I in stating my opinon: that we wait and cheer on our fellow citizens who are hard at work because of this, but rather than shutting down and locking ourselves up, we should instead.

Share the toilet paper we have been hoarding.

Ask the neighbor to spare some eggs, a cup of flour, or a stick of butter.

Exchange the bountiful emotions that comes for the 30 second hug you receive from your aunt, uncle, grandpa, babysitter, etc.

Resume the birthday parties, retirement surprise celebrations, socials that have been cancelled.

In other words, we should continue on with life.

Humans are oddities. We like to gather ourselves in a tizzy over nothing but in the same manner we can come together for something huge and monumental. Both things require one thing. It’s one word, with so many emotions. One word, with so many questions. One word. How? When? Where did this word create the world we are living in today? It starts with a C. Community. Did your heart skip a beat upon reading this word? Did your eyes move faster over the word, after having seen it so many times, so you could quickly reach this point? Am I stalling, antagonizing you, or have you already lost interest? I apologize. I just had to make my point clear. The coronavirus is a word with many implications just like community, however a community united has yet to face its archenemy. Although it seems as if us, humans, have decided that we are facing our archenemy this year 2020, together I believe we can face it better than we could as individuals. Popular or not, that is my opinion and I’ll stick with it.