Threading the Needle

Threading the Needle

What soothes my Soul

When I was younger, and something would upset me I would do two things. I would listen to music, and I would write. Now what I would write mostly was based on the music I’d just been listening to, that would determine my mood and was the difference between me writing a rap or me writing a poem. It just always seemed like I could write my emotions down better than I could ever talk about it. For some reason when I write, I began to feel lighter and more at ease, like the world is being lifted off of my shoulders. I never have to worry about my paper going and running its mouth about my business to anyone, and for that I am grateful and appreciative.

Writing for me is therapeutic, weather I’m heard or not. When I write I have to sit there and really think about how I’m feeling and what are the best words to describe how I’m feeling at the time. This makes me think a lot, like a lot a lot. Sometimes I’ve written notes to loved ones, I am very serious. If we were in the midst of a heated conversation and seemed like we couldn’t hear each other I would just go off, write my letter then place it where it’ll be seen. Now they have no choice but to listen because they are reading. The person is not getting to talk to you because you are not in their face at that moment.

I don’t know about you guys but with me when I’m trying to have a conversation with somebody and they are constantly cutting me off mid statements, then I forget a lot of key points that I may have wanted to make. But when my letter gets read everything seems to be understood after that. Now sometimes I would write a poem and that would go even deeper than the letter. Whichever strategy id decided to run with, I was finally heard, or an even better word to use would be understood. I was finally understood.

Now I found a way to be understood, however sometimes even writing things out for people to see and hopefully comprehend I was still misunderstood. I would say my chances off getting through were sixty to forty percent. Not big numbers but even still, at least I was heard sometimes. For the times I wasn’t though, I began to be okay with that as well. If I didn’t, I would dwell on something negative, and that was never the path I intended on taking. I had realized it was just important for me to write and read. It works wonders for me.

Sometimes though, I need to clear my mind of everything and I don’t want to think about anything. That’s when music alone comes into play for me. In my opinion, music is life. I’ve always said this and I will always say it, because I mean it. The sounds are great, but of course its more of the words for me. I can feel the words in the music. I just lay there, eyes closed, air pods sitting in my ears just giving me life baby. Its exhilarating, really it’s like getting a breath of fresh air when it seems like all around you your world is crashing. Music is a temporary release from the actual nonsense we have to deal with on a daily basis, And I ma so grateful to be able to listen to it.

Without a pen, paper and music I honestly don’t know where I would be in life today because I did grow up with anger issues, and as I got older I developed anxiety and that my friends, is a terrible feeling. My chest would get heavy feel like it was caving in. I would get hot and even would start to feel like I was floating. Music helped me so much to get away from that moment with all of those overwhelming feelings. If I was feeling down and stressed I would listen to something that I thought was fun and or uplifting. That way I was changing my mood. Being able to change your mood is so important in life because life will always throw curveballs. Nobody nowhere has a perfect life, and I don’t care how rich a person is either. As sure as you are to live and die. You can also be that sure that there will be curveballs. Another important fact is this, if you don’t change your mood, your mood will change you. So im going to listen to my music, and write in my books. I refused to let this thing called life get the best of me and I hope that there are millions if not billions of people out there who think just like me.

If you don’t have something that you do for stress relief I suggest that you find something. There are lots of hobbies out here to be learned and conquered. You all know that writing is my thing but I do want to learn how to thread yarn as well. I can imagine me now threading and listening to music. So peaceful, and that it all that matters, the peace.

The End

Venesha Owen July 23, 2021