This Year Give the Gift of Presence

In the new year, we set goals, get motivated, and share enthusiasm about the new beginning granted to us as the calendar turns the page to 2021. Whether we do business in person or by virtual means, just being present in a conversation is a gift. This gift can change us and the world around us.

I read a book a few years back by famous football coach Lou Holtz, Winning Every Day. In the book, he shares the acronym W.I.N., What's Important Now? I've used it daily in my life to prioritize tasks. It helps me redirect my focus when I get off track. After reflecting on 2020, What's Important Now is our presence with others.

This past year, I learned how vital presence is after losing my dog, uncle, and dad. The moments pass us by quickly, and we have to make a conscious choice to embrace them. With so many daily distractions, it's not easy. It takes training and planning to be truly present with someone, which can be a challenge if we don't know how to be present with ourselves. With a phone in everyone's palm most of their waking hours, it seems we've lost track of what that is.

To be present with ourselves is first to take care of our physical needs. Once we have adequately slept, eaten, and bathed, we can relax, sit, and breathe. Creating a daily routine can help us achieve a more relaxed state. This ritual can include visualization, mediation, and prayer. Spending time in nature, taking a walk, or sitting in the sun can expend our physical energy. This method releases tension and frustration and allows a connection to self.

Next, you can take a mental inventory. What are your thoughts? You are only as good as your last thought. Cleansing mental negativity with the breath releases thoughts with each exhalation. Writing out lists to clear our mind further increase our ability to be present. This process brings our attention back to our core or just being. When we are just being, we can allow others to share and warmly welcome their ideas and creativity.

Once we are content with our presence, then we can be a better listener to others. An effective way to do this is to avoid phones and devices while with them. I recently saw the documentary The Social Dilemma. It's a film about social media, it's addictive quality, and the responsibility the companies involved have to us as the product. There was a scene where the family is at the dinner table, and every member is on their phone. The mother demands all phones, and she puts them in a lockbox. There is an uncomfortable silence, they are all fidgeting, and finally, the youngest daughter breaks the container to retrieve her phone and runs upstairs to her room.

Sitting at the table together, clearly, wasn't the answer for drawing this family closer together. They didn't know how to be present with each other, even without their phones. Sadly, this is the disturbing truth in many households. After the movie, I was upset but motivated, knowing that the information and tools I share can help turn this situation around.

If we ask ourselves What's Important Now, most of us know the answer, and it isn't our phone. This New Year season, we can put the devices aside and ask questions. People love to talk about their passions, interests, goals, and desires. Make eye contact. Listen to grandmas story that you may have heard a hundred times. Open your heart to the sob story of the depressed family member. When a co-worker gossips, redirect the conversation to positive, humorous topics. Sing songs (not too loud due to Covid), dance, and play games or cards (not on your device). Immerse yourself in the process of being alive.

As you sit around the table for a meal or virtually meet, ask yourself if the device or the person in front of you is important. Make a conscious choice to be there, sharing eye contact with those you love. The human energy we give and receive from each other is the healing nourishment we need after this long, challenging year. Together by giving the gift of each other's presence, we all can W.I.N.

JoAnne is a Wellness Consultant and entrepreneur with over 25 years of experience in the areas of stress management, nutrition, yoga and eastern medicine. She is a certified Hypnotherapist, Weight Management Coach, and Ayurvedic Practitioner. She currently writes and publishes a quarterly publication, The Meal, which conveys the numerous benefits of the meal beyond food. For more information go to www.themeal.net.