The Shortfalls of Solitude

In a society that craves the success of the individual, an implication arises that any success or failure is our own--or at least that's the message delivered. Successes? Great. You win that contract, close that deal, beat that level in your video game, get an A on your test! It was you, and all your hard work that made it so. But slip up your pitch, lose the deal, or fail your test, and it was also you, and your failed efforts, that caused it to be so. Even more damning, you might remember that when you were out celebrating that big contract, you might remember that your coworkers or partners were trying to claim the credit for that success all to themselves--"Hey, if I hadn't edited that slide we would have been screwed!" or "Hey, if I hadn't done that research on the company we would have never known how to pitch it!" That strange paradox of individualism: in trying to promote ourselves, we think that we need others to steal successes as our own!

The pressure to do well in this individualistic mindset can become overwhelming. People want to claim our successes, but nobody wants to have any part in our failures. That's a lose-lose situation!

There seems to be no way out. Solitary activities are imbued in our everyday lives: we drive in a car to work--alone--then we may work in a cubicle where only one person works, then we go home alone in that same car. Then we might go to the gym, stuck in our own world with our headphones blasting music plugged into our ears. Then we go home alone in that same car, then eat a meal--probably alone because your roommate is out and about. Then we go to sleep, feeling all the more alone, made only more present by the reality of the experiences through which we pass daily.

What we need is a radical change in our sociocultural paradigm: instead of focusing on the individual, we should focus on the efforts of the community it took to get to there. Thomas Merton once said, "No man is an island". Heck, he even wrote a whole book on it! And that's so true. No man is an island. Every action we do, no matter how impactful, is consequential of the community that surrounds us. The company where you work couldn't have employed you if only one person was sustaining it. Employment, by definition, requires at least two parties! We donate to certain political causes because we grew up in and around a community that values those things that align with those political causes. We donate to those causes because. If you go to church, you probably worship in a building with more than one person in the building. It was a community of 12 followers of Jesus, after all, who virally spread a religion from a few thousand to more than two billion today. And the Apostle Paul didn't say, "I am the body of Christ"; he in fact said "We are the body of Christ!"

These are just but a few examples of how are lives are not dictated by the actions of just one person, but by many. So look around: look around for those peole in your life where more than just the individual comes into play. Look around where your actions are guided by the thoughts of more than just one person. It's pretty simple to be more involved in your community. Go to that party you were invited to. Look for a new group for a hobby you enjoy around your city. Play pickup basketball with some coworkers. Look around and see that in your life, it's not just you living your everyday existence, but a whole community of people.