The Revolution of Resolutions

A few years ago, I sat across from an older couple in their living room, drinking tea as they went over my astrology charts.  "Ambitious" might not have been the first word that someone who knew me well would use to describe me.  However that never worried me nor did I have any idea it might be an issue, until the indelicate way the woman sitting across from me that day would point out with little sensitivity. 

As she continued with the reading, her nose up in the air, a rewind of my life played through my mind. I had definitely struggled to make solid resolutions in my adult life.  Counting all the failed resolutions over the years could win me an award for "Best Procrastinator" and "Wishful Thinker With Big Dreams". I don't know about you, but my bank account is full to the roof of wishful love notes to the universe containing everything that I've ever wanted to accomplish. Not only do I have journals full of forgotten resolutions but the pages seem to be sad, scribbled memories of perfectly executed beginnings with no endings. 

One thing I have been since I could remember, is a big dreamer. Maybe that's something we were supposed to leave behind with childhood. 

"Time to live in the world of adulthood and leave your dreams behind for practical, serious work!"

 "Can't make a living when your head is in the clouds all day!"

As I sat across from this couple and contemplated my life's choices I started to feel uninspired. I knew I was a daydreamer and I did enjoy bouncing around from idea to idea, career, to job, to yet, a new career. I figured I enjoyed the experience of life more than the idea that we needed to have a set plan mapped out for the unknown future. Perhaps I was doing the whole adulting thing all wrong. I left later that morning without being given any real explanation to the meaning behind their message. Truthfully, I didn't want to ask. Maybe it really wasn't a big deal but something about being told I wasn't going to be very ambitious, triggered a deep rooted insecurity around my life's choices and it stuck with me for years to come. 

One thing I learned from that experience, is as I was led to seek my own answers to my burning questions, the answers would always come eventually. Every question has led me deeper on my path to self realization and that day was not a small step. Shortly after that experience, I began doing things differently. I started looking within myself for the answers to unlock the challenges that I seemed to come up against over and over in my life. Through my inner work and meditation practice I came to realize that a lot of my deep seated issues could only be overcome through contemplation and introspection. What was fascinating about this new practice, is that I easily and effortlessly have stuck to it with a passion. And I have learned that the reason why I have never followed through with anything I set out to do, was because I didn't fully believe it. I didn't believe in myself and I didn't hold the same energy that the things that I wanted to accomplish needed, in order to continue to grow. 

In order for anything to grow I needed to continue on holding the energy that matched the things I wanted. My beginnings always picked up momentum so quickly because I was excited about my ideas and getting it started. I visualized it in my mind and leapt forward with so much exhilaration my reality had to catch up and I grew too impatient to take the time it took to see that happen. Then there is always the roadblocks. The hurdles and the break in the excitement is where things would always fall apart. That's when the sad, scribbled journals full of the forgotten dreams began to pile up. When 2020 came, I experienced a major turning point in my journey to self realization. Which also became the year that would catapult me into 2021 a completely different person. And within my heart, I held the revolution of resolutions.  

As 2020 created the space and the time for me to really sit with myself and all the things I was choosing to ignore, my world expanded with a force that flipped my reality upside down. Which actually began to make more sense then the "right" side up. As we all sat in our homes, isolated from other people, the only thing I could focus on was where I was in that very moment. I began to have fun with exploring the inner workings of what makes us who we are. The existential question of what we are all doing here and if there's even a purpose to all of this was burning a hole in my mind. I thank the people like Joe Dispenza, David Hawkins and Abraham Hicks for their part in all of this wonder and unlocking of an untapped part of my brain!  

Here's something I learned in 2020. There's something really fascinating about silence. Its the right kind of loud. As I contemplated our existence the answers began to flood in as quickly as the questions. As I understood the importance of solitude and silence, my intuition grew louder and more persistent. As I grew more in touch with it, the more I was able to consciously choose from the different paths laid out before me. 2020 was one of my biggest years of expansion. In the newly slow moving world, I began to find myself in presence. I began piecing together the importance of our inner state before our outer reality can mirror the things we set out to do or to have. As we can create things with our thoughts and intentions alone,  I learned that we can just as quickly lose them - also with our thoughts and emotions alone. I had begun accumulating proof of the many times in my life that I have manifested my reality purely from the emotions I felt around thoughts I had for things I wanted to create. For most of us, we are always unintentionally creating scenarios, good or bad. My expansion came when I realized that I was always creating my reality and through intentional feeling and thinking, I could avoid continuing the pattern of mindlessly creating unwanted things into my life. 

I call this "The Revolution of Resolutions" in 2021 because I feel I have shed a dense, heavy layer of unconscious programming of how the world and we are "supposed to be". I've come to the realization that we are beautifully designed to create the most potent, bright and loving art through our living each day to the fullest. Through the intentional way we dream up our lives and start to move from a place of playfulness and authenticity it floods out into the collective and allows all others to do the same. 2021 will be the year we all start to come out of a deep sleep and realize the potential power of the human mind and heart working together as one.  Unity consciousness will be the new way in which we finally choose to consciously co-create leading in to years to come.

So as I blaze my own trail this year by waking up every morning with the intention of remaining present and playful in each day, I will allow others to do the same. In the way I choose my energy each morning to align with my highest good, the energy of my intentions will reach out into the collective. Authenticity, art through the joy of experiencing each moment to the fullest and remaining heart centered will be the way I live each moment this year and beyond. This year it's time to start nurturing my inner growth and showing up for myself in a new way. As I continue my journey into full embodiment, I see it being a gift to all others as the way in which I show up for myself expands and plants the seed for others to do the same. This year, fun and joy is my goal and as I align with the higher, lighter feelings, everything that comes into my reality, will have to meet me up there. And up "there" is where we create with magical and purposeful intention.