The Power of Listening

My mom did something that changed how I saw people when I was younger, but I didn't know it.

"It was okay."

Not the kind of "uh-huh, yeah, okay" while scrolling through her phone or cooking dinner. This is the real kind. The kind that made you think what you were saying was important.

My childhood was full of talking. I read a lot of random things and had dreams that didn't make sense. I remember telling her about a strange dream in which my toothbrush changed into a microphone and I was the host of a TV show in space.

There was no laughter or ignoring from her. That's all she did: smile and nod.

"That sounds like a fun show."

The moment wasn't big, but it stuck.

Once, I felt terrible when I got home because a friend at school had said something mean about me. Along the kitchen, I sat on the floor while she folded laundry.

I thought she would say something like "they're just jealous" or tell me to forget about it.

Still, she didn't.

She stopped folding and sat down next to me.

"Tell me what happened," she asked.

She didn't speak up. She didn't try to make it right. The girl did nothing but sit there and listen. She said,

"That sounds like it hurt. I'm sorry that happened."

Not a talk. No ask, "What did you do?" Just some room for my feelings to live.

What happened to me changed at that moment.

When someone listens to you without trying to take over, I saw how powerful that is.

How it helps you see things. Enjoy feeling like you're important.

Someone I know told me this story

I once heard from a friend that when she got home from school, it was quiet. She didn't talk much because her mom was always tired. One day, though, something happened at school that made her cry as soon as she walked through the door.

Although her mom was cooking, she put the food away and joined her on the floor. Didn't rush or ask questions right away. Saying "I'm here" while holding her hand.

"You are not required to speak if you are not ready."

Finally, my friend felt like she could say what she really felt.

She told me that moment made her think about how she would raise her own children.

The things I learned from these times

Listening isn't about knowing what to say. It has to do with making room.

It isn't always about making big moves. Sometimes all you have to do is choose to be there. Not putting someone in a box when they talk. Allowing them to cry without forcing them to smile.

Kids have trouble remembering things. Nevertheless, they'll remember how you made them feel.

If a parent listens to their child without judging or talking over them, they teach a powerful lesson: everyone deserves to be heard.

Also, empathy might not be something we are naturally good at.

Some people say that we learn how to do things by watching the people who loved us the most do them.