Learning Through Mistakes: What My Parents Really Taught Me Without Trying

I used to think that grown-ups were in charge of everything. Most of all, parents. It looked like they knew what to do, say, and fix.

I learned more from the things they got wrong, though, now that I'm older.

When my dad forgot to do something

I gave a presentation in front of the class when I was in main school. I thought it was important. I told my dad he could come watch me practice for days.

Yes, he said. He wrote it down on the calendar too.

He wasn't there, though.

I kept my eyes on the door to the classroom, waiting for him to come in.

He didn't.

I didn't say much when he picked me up after school. He saw it. He told me,

"I forgot."

I forgot how much time had passed because I was busy with something. I'm sorry. I wished I could be there.

That was it.

Not a long story. Do not blame other people. He said sorry. I still remember it.

No, not because he missed it, but because he owned up to it. That's what I learned. You can make a mistake and still do the right thing next time.

The time when my mom lost it

My mom had a busy day. Things were not going well. She got mad at me because I think I left something wet on the couch. It made me feel small that she raised her voice.

She came into my room later that night and told me,

"I shouldn't have yelled."

It's not your fault that I was tired. "I'm sorry."

That stuck with me. It taught me that adults can also say sorry. It wasn't necessary for her to explain or defend what had occurred. She just took it.

I learned that being sorry doesn't make you weak. It reveals that you value the connection over being right.

A story from someone I know

One time, a friend of mine didn't make it to this kid's school recital. She had been telling him for days.

He forgot, though.

He told me it broke his heart to know what had happened. He sat down with her that night and told her,

"I forgot, and I know that hurt you. I'm so sorry."

She didn't say a lot.

She only asked if she could play the song again at home for him. He agreed, sat down on the couch, and paid her his full attention. When she was done, he clapped. Not because they felt bad, but because it was important.

He told me that moment was more important to her than any apology. Even though he was a little late, he showed up.

What I learned from these times

There's no need for parents to be perfect. They should just tell the truth. This is more important than how you handle successes for kids to remember.

You teach your child that making mistakes is okay when you own up to your own. They learn that what comes after is what matters.

That you can own up to what you did, learn from it, and do better next time.

That's how you learn something that sticks.

It's not the speeches. It's not the punishments.

However, how you act when things don't go as planned. Know this if you have kids or just hang out with them.

They are looking.

It's not just when things are going well that everyone should be careful. And sometimes, the most important lessons are learned in the most honest, unfiltered moments.