The Poison of Reward

The Poison of Reward: Why Achievements Leave Us Empty

There is a strange paradox buried within the human experience: the very things we strive so hard to achieve often lose their magic the moment we attain them. A job promotion, a long-awaited degree, a dream house, a published book — these milestones that once seemed like the pinnacle of joy somehow feel ordinary, even hollow, once they are in our hands. Why does success so often leave us underwhelmed?

Understanding this phenomenon requires diving deep into the psychology of desire, reward systems, and how our brains adapt to new realities faster than we might expect.

The Thrill of the Chase

Human motivation is powered largely by anticipation rather than attainment. Neurobiologically, dopamine — the "feel-good" neurotransmitter — spikes not when we achieve a goal, but when we are pursuing it. The climb towards the summit releases far more chemical euphoria than standing at the peak itself.

This is why the dream of writing a book often feels more intoxicating than holding the finished copy in your hands. It’s the dream, the possibility, the chase that ignites us. Once the goal is reached, the brain quickly resets its baseline expectations, leaving us wondering why the moment doesn't feel as triumphant as imagined.

Hedonic Adaptation: The Silent Culprit

A crucial player in this emotional letdown is something called hedonic adaptation. It's the psychological phenomenon where people quickly return to a relatively stable level of happiness despite major positive or negative events.

Win the lottery? After a brief spike in happiness, you'll likely return to your pre-win emotional baseline. Get your dream job? Same story. Our brains are wired to adapt because constant emotional highs (or lows) would be biologically unsustainable.

While this ability serves a survival purpose — helping us cope with adversity — it also means that achievements, no matter how grand, cannot permanently elevate our sense of well-being.

Success as a Moving Target

Another factor is goal escalation. Once a milestone is achieved, our mind often doesn't savor it. Instead, it immediately sets its sights on the next big thing.

Got a promotion? Time to aim for a higher one. Bought a house? Now, maybe a bigger one. Published a book? When's the next?

This perpetual shifting of goalposts means that fulfillment is always just out of reach, tied to future successes rather than present contentment. Success becomes not a destination, but an ever-moving target.

The Social Comparison Trap

In a hyper-connected world where everyone's achievements are broadcasted on social media, social comparison exacerbates dissatisfaction. No matter what you've accomplished, there is always someone who seems to be doing better, faster, younger, and with more apparent ease.

Even monumental personal victories can feel diminished when viewed through the distorted lens of comparison. The internal narrative shifts from "Look what I achieved!" to "Why didn't I achieve even more?"

The Myth of "Arrival"

Culturally, we are sold the myth of "arrival" — that one day we will "make it," and life will finally feel complete. The reality is less cinematic. No singular event, no matter how glittering, can deliver eternal happiness or a lasting sense of purpose.

This truth can be both sobering and liberating. If there is no final "arrival," then perhaps fulfillment isn't found at the finish line, but rather in the ongoing journey.

How to Reframe Achievement

If we want to escape the poison of reward, we need to rethink how we engage with success:

Celebrate Progress, Not Just Milestones: Recognize and savor small wins along the way. Don't delay happiness until some arbitrary point in the future.

Cultivate Intrinsic Motivation: Pursue goals for the love of the process itself, not just for the external rewards they promise.

Practice Gratitude: Regularly acknowledging what you have, rather than what you lack, helps counteract hedonic adaptation.

Limit Comparisons: Be mindful of how much external validation you seek. Your worth isn't defined by social media metrics or public accolades.

Embrace the Present: Learn to find meaning in the "now" instead of deferring satisfaction to some future achievement.

The Beauty of Dissatisfaction

Perhaps, paradoxically, the fact that achievements don't permanently satisfy us is what keeps life dynamic and vibrant. Our yearning for growth, for exploration, for new dreams — this restless spirit is a feature, not a flaw.

Instead of viewing the fading thrill of achievement as a betrayal, we can see it as an invitation to keep evolving. Success is not a trophy to be mounted, but a verb — an ongoing act of becoming.

Final Thoughts

Achievement, stripped of illusions, is merely a chapter, not the climax of our stories. The poison lies not in success itself, but in our rigid expectations of what it should deliver. If we loosen those expectations, if we learn to savor the messy, magnificent unfolding of life itself, then success becomes not an endpoint, but a beautiful part of an endless, exhilarating journey.

After all, the real reward was never the trophy — it was who you became on the way there.