The Light in Me

In the past two years, this physical world has thrown me into the rolling coaster game that lifted me up and crushed me down, frustrated the issues taking place around the world. I lost confidence and boldness, starting questioning who I am, why the Creator of this universe sent me here. I experienced being joyful, excited, sad, disappointed. There is one thing still raising up in me: Hope.

Hope is the Light in me. I change the way of thinking, be more flexible to accept whatever happened, and willing to confront it. Because I know behind me there is God, He got my back.

I apply a new routine in my life, set new goals, and always be grateful for what I have had so far. I daily journal to write down my feelings, and affirmations for my happier future self. I am learning to love myself so that I can love others. I want to be the source of encouragement for someone.

I watched the true event movie called "Unbroken". There is one scene having an impact on me that made me cry. When the main male actor - Louis forced to lift up the wooden beam over his head, he would be shot by the Japanese soldier if he dropped it down. He actually held the beam in 37 minutes. His eyes gazing at the Japanese commander touched my heart, which made me realize one thing that we as human beings can persistently confront hardships if we have hope and faith. I noticed his eyes are not angrily looking at his enemy because he was preached "Love thine enemy" when he was a kid. We have a heartache come by another heartache for the rest of our life. The thing we can do is stay faithfully positive and they will pass. We get hurt and pain, but we should not give up our life.

Speaking up for myself is a new challenge this year, which is a resolution to set up a boundary for people around me. I cannot change their personalities and the way they look at me, I can change the way I respond and react toward them. I become be careful when I talk to myself and work on an internal factor: spirit. We belong to the human race and should love others not make them feel small. When someone makes me feel small, it is her/his problem, not mine. I am not ashamed of who I am.

Always reminding me that I should respect people who respect me even though some disrespect me but this is not gonna stop my kindness to others. Always keep at least one friend who willingly listens to my story, my struggles. Show love and care to beloved people without any intentions. A small act of care can change someone's bad day. Sharing knowledge and proper information with others, which could help them at some points to solve their problems.

Creating a schedule to keep me motivated. This schedule includes what I will do, learn in a day, and patiently stick to the plan especially hard times like Covid 19. Life is full of frustrations. Every day, I bump into the unknowns, and definitely, I do not like them. I keep reminding myself I can overcome them. The frustration can ruin my day, but I can find the solutions and solve the problems and be happy. No matter what happens and affects me, I will not let it crosses my boundary of mindfulness and enjoyment. I practice not resisting the current situations and will go with the flow if possible. Sometimes, resisting makes me more stressed out.

Few words to other writers on this platform, I am glad we have this platform where our creativity is used in a meaningful way. 2020 was a very challenging year for every one of us. But hey! we are still here and breathing. I wish you all can find your peace and balance in life.