The Inspiration in Admiration

Prideful, competitive and always wanting to be in charge; that’s the kind of young lady I had always grown up to be. I never looked up to anyone. I was not raised to be that way, however; it was simply just the way that I was. I believe in astrological signs and the zodiac; I am what you would call the epitome of “Leo”, so those characteristics are heavily in my nature. I had never imagined following the lead of another young lady— young black lady such as myself, that is until I had met someone who wanted some of the same things as me, yet she made it happen right before my eyes.

A young lady about three years older than I was had broken barriers to me at the time. She was the first black cheerleader I had ever seen in high school. Coming from a small southern town such as the one we lived in; you don’t see that a lot. She was drama free, beautiful, smart and fell far from the stereotypical controversy of the “ghetto black female” criteria, although; she remained a black woman at soul. She became my brothers girlfriend. He lost her, yet I still remained in good graces with her. His loss!

Fast forward, this young lady had graduated high school. She went to college. She had went to a damn good college. I was still in high school at the time and of course I wanted to go to college but I didn’t think anything past my bachelor’s. To continue, over the span of years I watched this young lady grow into a young woman. We were friends on Facebook so I would see her updates as her life went by. I watched this young woman spend four years of understudies at an expensive school, working part time just to make ends meet and to pay for school. I watched this young lady NOT limit herself to some super simple and mediocre major in school. I watched her go on to meet the love of her life in undergrad—someone outside of her race who then turned into her fiancé. Now when I say outside of her race, this isn’t a race thing it’s just the simple fact that many of us are too scared of what many people who look like us might think or say if they saw us with a person who did not share the same skin tone as them; it’s just the way life goes sometimes, but this girl, this girl changed the game. You’ll understand why later. To continue, I witnessed one of her greatest achievements which was graduating undergrad school and being accepted into her masters program, to marrying her fiancé after undergrad, to moving to New York City to finish out her master’s.

In the midst of all of her accomplishments I had one day found myself commenting on one of her post and I said; and I quote “Congratulations [ her name] I TRULY ADMIRE YOU”. Now I have NEVER admired anyone in my life, let alone come out of my mouth to let them know it. It’s the “leo” in me. Maybe I’ve admired some celebrities or crushes, but that’s a different situation. Those situations weren’t inspiration wise more like obsessive wise. Lol. But I had soon realized that this admiration of her was inspiration! I was in undergrad for two years of the time of some of her major achievements. Entering undergrad I was already inspired by her to go big for my major. Her inspiration taught me that if you’re going to put all of your time and hard work into something do not limit yourself. I was so inspired and destined to finish college. I was truly amazed and inspired because you do not see a lot of people from those same small places like you make it. To me; she had made it or was really making it in life.

Today as I am laying in bed this morning beside my half-Irish half-Puerto Rican beautiful white skinned fiancé; I am writing this and thinking about how she truly opened that passageway for me. I was always scared to date outside of my race because of what people would say. My inspiration from her lead me to my soulmate. Not only that; I will be beginning my first semester in August 2020 at a well known graduate school obtaining my master’s in psychology. I also plan on pushing further into medical school to obtain my doctorate’s degree to become a licensed psychiatrist once I graduate from grad school. I am in the midst of searching for the perfect med school for later. My inspiration of her is currently leading me to my dream career! I’m thinking moving to California for that school; my inspiration of her is helping me take that big chance to expand. And lastly, my inspiration of her inspired me to not limit myself down to my minority, feel comfortable in my skin! She’s inspired me to be inspire other little girls too!