The Doing Must Come With The Desire
- David Stidston
Growing up, I always considered the word "desire" to be a very sexually provocative type of word. Don't ask me why, that's just always how I perceived it. It's like I created my own definition to the word, believing it to be an uncontrollable yearning for lust, or having an unbridled passion for intimacy. To be fair on me, I wasn't totally wrong, however desire relates to more than just lust and intimacy. Desire is simply defined as "having a strong feeling of wanting to have something, or wishing for something to happen". Let's face it, many people do indeed have a strong desire for sexual relations and intimacy, so it doesn't really make my definition incorrect, perhaps just a little limited. Desire has become one of the most commonly used words in my blog entries nowadays, and that's because it relates to pretty much everyone. We wouldn't be human if there wasn't something that we desperately wanted to have in life, or something that we were wishing for. It therefore makes desire a very common emotion. There's a couple of crucial words in the definition of desire that I want to highlight though, them being wishing and wanting. As much as desire is a very common and powerful emotion, it still lacks substance. I'd compare it to how I always talk about the difference between motivation and drive. If you don't know what I'm talking about there, motivation and drive are both key emotional behaviors to possess when it comes to achieving goals. Motivation is of course the enthusiasm and willingness to do something, however it is an emotional behavior that does tend to fluctuate, depending on mood, mindset, and outside influences. It lacks that steadfast nature that prevents people from giving up, because it is so easily influenced. Drive, on the other hand, is when you cause something abstract to actually happen and eventuate. It's a solid emotional behavior, because you are fixated and determined to create a certain result, without any negative impact from mood, outside influence, or even failures. Desire is like motivation, being that it's an emotional behavior that is inspiring and encouraging, yet it isn't equipped with a supporting mechanism to turn that wish or want into achievement.
Desire isn't supported by an action basically, and without action, a result cannot be achieved. So I come back to those two words, wishing and wanting. Whilst we are on fire with definitions today, let me tell you that wishing is defined as "hoping for something that cannot, or probably will not, happen". I don't know about you, but I've been guilty of saying that I wish for certain things and results many times throughout my life. I wish I had more money, I wish I could buy a new car, I wish I didn't have stress and anxiety in my life, I wish I had a new computer, I wish I owned my own house, and so on. My list of wishes would be endless, as undoubtedly yours would be too. Most of these things I have listed right there aren't exactly going to come to me overnight, nor even any time in the foreseeable future. It's not to say they can't or won't happen in the future, but they are in that "probably will not happen" bracket right now, not unless something drastic happens in a hurry. But this is what we do in life, we constantly find ourselves wishing for things to happen, or wishing things will come to us. I always talk about our goals, and the importance that we prioritize working towards these in life, because achieving them can deliver us purpose, happiness, satisfaction, and fulfillment. Again though, most people wish that their goals will magically eventuate for them without any need for action or hard work.
One of the most common wishes of them all, amongst society, is that they can strike it lucky and win the lottery. Talk about won't, or probably won't, happen. With a 1 in 8+ million chance of winning division one, no matter how many consecutive weeks in your life you play, those odds don't get any better. Of course you hear of people winning, which of course the lotteries commission will always promote, to entice people to keep investing their money in purchasing tickets, and ensuring that people keep genuinely believe they will win soon too. It's a mere wish. Sure there is the action in purchasing the ticket, and sure there is that chance of winning, despite being at 1 in 8 million, but to put this wish into better perspective, you are 500 times more likely to be struck by lightning in your lifetime than winning division one lotto. That's a scary thought! Wishing is fruitless! Whilst winning the lottery might not be something we can control, achieving our goals is. If we are wishing for a better life, happiness, success, prosperity, fulfillment, a better job, whatever it may be, what can we honestly expect to achieve by wishing for it? We can control these results because we can make changes to our current life, we can take risks, we can make the relevant decisions, we can execute the required actions, and we can work hard. We just choose not to. We'd rather remain in our comfort zone of wishing, and be resting our hopes in a miracle. If we don't do the above, we don't take action, we don't remain perseverant, and we don't remain patient, then the wish we have of achieving our goals can only fall into the "won't happen" category. It will forever remain a wish.
The second word is "wanting". It's pretty similar to wishing really, as it's defined as "having a desire to possess, or do, something". When I think of the word "want" nowadays, I immediately think of greed and selfishness. To have a want is basically an indication of having a lack of appreciation for what you already have. I have totally changed my attitude when it comes to wants nowadays, as I have learned how powerful and important gratitude really is, however I will use the same examples above as I did with wishing for the purpose of this example. I want more money, I want a new car, I want my life to be stress and anxiety free, I want a new computer, I want to own my own house, and so on. The word want just reeks of ingratitude. Sure, I might want a new car, but I don't necessarily need a new car, because the one I have may be getting old, but it still gets me from A to B. If we change that attitude of wanting, and replacing it with appreciation, it creates a totally different mindset and perspective. I am so grateful to have a car because many others worldwide can't even afford one, and they are left to get around via walking, cycling, or taking public transport. It's about changing our thinking. Perhaps we want that new phone on the market, because the one we have is now the previous model? Really? If the phone is in good working condition and serves its purpose, I think we should be damn grateful for having that, and instead look to invest our money towards our goals and our future. Some people don't have a phone at all, or the one they have may be more than a decade outdated. You can never be satisfied in life if you're always wanting more!
Money is a classic example of what people want, so they chase after it. They will perform illegal activities, they will deceive others, they will evade paying taxes, they will steal, they will undermine others, and they will do anything they can in order to profitably gain from something. Such is the desperation for money, people will do desperate things. It's that want, it's that selfishness, it's that greed. Quite often, it turns around and bites these people in the arse, whilst those who are fixated on chasing money, find that's all the ever do in life, chase it. The wanting side of desire needs to be eliminated, and replaced with the why. The why is the purpose. Why would you like to buy a new car? You might respond by answering that your car is 10 years old now, so it's time for a new one. Right there, the why reveals the want, not the need. Why would you like to achieve the goal you are striving for? You might respond by answering that you are determined to contribute to the community in some way, and be helping others, whilst also setting up the best possible future for your children. The want is absent in that example because you are doing something that is of benefit to others, including your family. You need to drill down by starting with the why you would like something, or why you would like to achieve something, so you can establish if the reason behind is a want, a need, or of benefit to others. So when it comes to desire, let's eliminate the want, and replace it with the need and the why. The definition would then read something like "having a strong need to obtain or achieve something, including for the benefit of others, or wishing for something to happen". Highlighting the wanting and wishing, as part of the definition, doesn't draw us any nearer to achieving our desires though. That's because desire is like the theory aspect of a project. We have that goal in our head, we know what we would love to achieve, and we perhaps even have an action plan of how we are going to get it, but thoughts, wishes, and plans don't ever achieve anything unless there also is the practical aspect to the project. That is getting in and actually doing something about it. It's about turning that "probably won't happen" aspect of wishing into "I will make it happen". It's about turning that aspect of greed and selfishness of wanting, into identifying a genuine need, and having an appreciation of what we already have, whilst also striving to help and support others in some way. Success and accomplishment doesn't come from desire alone, because the doing must come with the desire. Get proactive and get yourself committed into some hard work. Stop wishing and wanting, stop just limiting yourself to having desires, and actually start doing something about it!
#Tuesday #TuesdayMotivation #motivation #quote #desire #doing #action #success #goals #achievement #accomplishment #want #need #wish #wishing #greed #selfishness #gratitude #appreciation #persepective #HelpOthers #hope #definition #behavior #emotion #decisions #WindOfChangeNow
About the Creator
David Stidston
My name is David Stidston, and I am a single father to my 8-year-old daughter Mia. We live in the beautiful city of Hobart in Tasmania, Australia. I am currently self-employed, working as a freelancer and casually in market research.
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The Gift Of Awareness
I will openly admit to what is one of my biggest flaws in my life currently, and has unfortunately been for several years also. When antagonized or unfairly criticized by someone, I tend to react very abruptly, and am quick to respond in anger. No one likes to be antagonized or criticized after all, yet I know that in responding with a fiery temper, and reacting with a heap of criticism and verbal abuse in return, I'm only dragging myself down to their level. Sadly, I've been lacking that emotional control needed to resist reacting in such a manner, and one of the very reasons why I have engaged myself in mindset training and strengthening these past couple of years, so I can better resist reacting with such fury. As I said, I know it is a massive flaw of mine, one that I am certainly not proud of, and one that I am desperate to remove from my behaviors. I was never that sort of person in my youth or my early adulthood. I was actually the total opposite. It seems that the turning point to my behavior and attitude came about when I first entered into depression, back in 2010. My depression undoubtedly came from the lack of happiness, satisfaction, and fulfillment in my life, caused mainly by my career, but also from associating with people who were in no way beneficial to my mental health. Not only that, I think I grew tired of constantly being the nice guy, whilst allowing everyone just to walk all over me in life. As much as I credit myself for standing up to people now, and defending myself better, the manner in which I respond and react needs to be at a far more mature level than it is.
By David Stidston5 years ago in Motivation
“The Day I Thought I Couldn’t Go On — But Tomorrow Changed Everything”
I never imagined that a single day could feel like the heaviest weight in the world. It wasn’t the kind of day that sneaks up on you; it’s the kind that hits you like a storm you weren’t prepared for. From the moment I opened my eyes, something inside me knew that this day would be different. I didn’t know yet how different, or how much it would change me forever. The morning began quietly, deceptively calm. I went through the motions—brushing my teeth, making a cup of tea, scrolling through my phone—but my heart felt heavier than usual. Small failures from the past week clung to me like shadows. A failed exam, an argument with a friend, a project that didn’t turn out the way I hoped—it all piled on top of me, brick by brick. By the time I left the house, the weight of disappointment already made my chest ache. Then the real storm hit. I tried to hold it together, tried to keep walking forward, but everything seemed to fall apart at once. A message from someone I trusted made me feel betrayed. A mistake I thought I had fixed resurfaced, and I realized the consequences were bigger than I could handle. Even the sky seemed to mock me, dark clouds rolling in, drizzling rain that soaked me through as if nature itself knew my sorrow. I found a quiet park bench, alone except for the occasional passerby with their umbrellas and hurried steps. I sank down, my arms wrapped around my knees, and I let myself feel the weight of the world for the first time that day. Tears blurred my vision, not because I wanted to cry, but because my heart had no other way to release the pressure building inside. I kept asking myself, Why me? Why does everything feel so impossible right now? Hours passed like this—silent, painful, endless. I tried to remind myself that bad days happen to everyone, that life is a series of ups and downs—but the words felt hollow. My mind raced with “what ifs” and “if onlys,” and every solution seemed just out of reach. I felt like a failure, like the world had moved on without me. I thought about giving up—not in the dramatic sense, but in the quiet, subtle way that your heart stops trying to hope for better. And yet, in the middle of that stormy day, something shifted. It wasn’t sudden, and it wasn’t magical. It was subtle—a thought, a memory, a small whisper in the corner of my mind that reminded me of who I was. I remembered the times I had struggled before, the nights I thought I couldn’t get through, and somehow, I had. I remembered the people who had believed in me even when I didn’t believe in myself. And I remembered one simple truth: pain doesn’t come to destroy you; it comes to teach you. I sat there for a long time, letting the rain soak through my coat, letting the tears fall freely, letting myself simply exist in the moment. And slowly, the anger, the fear, and the despair began to loosen their grip. I realized that this day—terrible, exhausting, heartbreaking—wasn’t the end of my story. It was a pause. A chapter that would shape me into someone stronger, wiser, more compassionate than I had been yesterday. By the time the sun began to peek through the clouds, painting the sky with soft hues of gold and pink, I felt a quiet shift in my chest. It wasn’t a dramatic change; it wasn’t like someone waved a magic wand. It was a tiny flicker of hope—a reminder that tomorrow existed, and tomorrow was a chance to start again. I walked home slowly, each step lighter than the one before. I realized that I didn’t need to have all the answers right now. I didn’t need to fix everything at once. All I needed was to keep moving forward, even if it was just one small step at a time. That night, I wrote in my journal—a habit I hadn’t kept up in months. I wrote about the pain I had felt, the mistakes I had made, the people who had disappointed me, and the fears that had kept me awake at night. But I also wrote about the small victories: the fact that I had survived this day, the fact that I had faced my pain instead of running from it, the fact that I was still here, still breathing, still willing to try again. And as I wrote, I realized something profound: every hardship, every failure, every heartache had shaped me into who I am. They had given me strength I didn’t know I had. They had taught me lessons that no easy day ever could. The next morning, I woke up before sunrise. The world was quiet, bathed in soft golden light. I stepped outside and felt the cool morning air on my face. For the first time in what felt like forever, I smiled—not because everything was perfect, but because I was alive. Because I had the chance to try again. Because I had the power to turn this day into the beginning of something new. I realized that life isn’t about avoiding bad days; it’s about learning how to survive them, how to grow through them, how to use them as stepping stones to something greater. Every setback, every heartbreak, every failure is part of the journey, not the destination. And so, I made a promise to myself: I would not let this day—or any day—define me. I would not let my mistakes or disappointments steal my hope. I would rest when I needed to, I would cry when I needed to, but I would never stop moving forward. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring. I don’t know if the path ahead will be easy. But I do know that I am stronger than I thought, braver than I imagined, and capable of more than I can see right now. And that is enough. That day—the day I thought I couldn’t go on—didn’t destroy me. It didn’t break me. It reshaped me, reminded me of my resilience, and showed me the quiet, unshakeable power of hope. Sometimes, the darkest days teach us the most important lessons. Sometimes, the storm is exactly what we need to see the sunlight. And sometimes, tomorrow really does change everything. So if you are reading this, and today feels unbearable, remember this: your story isn’t over. You are allowed to rest. You are allowed to feel pain. You are allowed to be human. But don’t forget that pain is temporary, that storms pass, and that better days are waiting. You are stronger than you know, braver than you think, and the world still has beautiful things in store for you. Let today end. Let it go. Take a deep breath. And when tomorrow comes, step forward into it with hope in your heart, even if it’s just one small step. Because that step is everything—it is proof that you can keep going, that you can keep believing, and that you can keep writing your story, one day at a time. Your story is not over yet. And sometimes, the day you think you can’t go on is the day that changes everything.
By Ihtisham Ulhaq2 days ago in Motivation
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