The Diamond Wolf

So. When I was fifteen, I noticed my mother came home with something new. Strange and new... On her ankle was a little colourful tattoo. If I had to describe what it looked like, well the easiest way is to say it was a slutty frog... Strange I know. But what will forever be inked on to her aging ankle will be a green frog with bright red lipstick, black stripper stockings and curly blonde hair... Like i said. A strange tattoo. But then again my mother is a strange woman.

When i saw this tattoo. I started to think about whether I would ever want to get inked. If that was viable for my lifestyle etc... Two years of researching trying to find either the perfect tat, or create an amalgamation of multiple for me to be happy with. Finally I found the one. A good old plain tribal tattoo... All the cool kids get them eventually right? Okay maybe not.

After around six months before my eighteenth birthday. I started having doubts. Do I really want this on me forever. When I grow old is it something I would want my kids questioning me about? Certainly not. I was wondering why all these thoughts and emotions had only just crossed my mind and suddenly it then hit me. There was no meaning behind it. No message or telltale sign of why it would be on my body.

So three months before my eighteenth, my father said he would give me the money for the tattoo as a birthday present and in the words of my father "An expensive one at that!"

I had to figure out what I wanted. Prior to this point. My girlfriend and I of nearly four years had split up. To say it wasn't a clean break... Well that would be one hell of an understatement. But that story is for another time. The split sent me down a spiral. Alcohol, drugs, cigarettes. I tried them all in order to feel better in someway. Thankfully I picked myself back up after what was essentially a half arsed mental break down.

So there I was. Trying not to feel sorry for myself, not to fall back into a spiral. trying desperatley to clamber on to any hope that soon, I would feel better. I then realised... that was the message I wanted... That was what I would want to tell my future kids and grandkids.

Sitting in the tattoo parlor. " What are you wanting then and where?"

I showed them the design. A grey wolf, half the face would be a normal fluffy pack hunter and the remaining half would be a sparkling diamond version of itself. One eye brown and one eye blue. on my chest.

Now after reading that you may think. "1 why and 2 I was expecting a slutty wolf in magic mike clothing" Well 1 let me explain and 2 unfortunatley not but that is a hell of an idea!

So why a half diamond half normal wolf? It's simple really. The animal was my first thought and I adore wolves, they are beautiful yet deadly creatures (Not for a second am I saying I am beautiful or deadly). They can work together intrinsicely well but also survive well enough on their own. One thing I aspire to be. A good team player but also have the strength and courage to stand on my own two feet.

Now why the half diamond? This again is simple. Diamonds are percieved to be very valuable and very beautiful but the idea behind is. I am the wolf half of me is working towards the perfection I want whilst the other half has achieved said perfection. Not in the sense I am a perfect human being but in the sense I am happy who I am. The Diamond side represents the perfection enveloping who I am and signifying the change I wish one day to happen.

Finally why the brown and blue eye. Well I have brown eyes and for some reason, all the women I have dated or have taking a liking to seem to have blue eyes...

That is the story of my very first tattoo. It may have been a strange and quite frankly a very painful one. But it is my story, and one day I hope that i will be living the white picket fence lifestyle. Sitting on the sofa with my wife and kids and be able to tell them that no matter how hard life hits you. No matter how down and out you feel. You can always pick the pieces of yourself back up and rearrange them to be who you want to be.

I hope you somewhat enjoyed this story and I hope you take that message with you.

No matter how down and out you feel. You can always pick the pieces of your life back up and rearrange them to suit you...

Craig Topping

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