The Artist... The Nurse... The Servant

It’s the Fall of 2008. I’m a senior at the University of Miami studying Music Education. I’m in the top two ensembles singing Alto. I’m growing spiritually in Christ. Making new friends. Studying a mixture of the two things I love: education and music. I couldn’t be happier.

One day before my ‘Teaching Jazz Skills’ class, I had some time to go in my car, and I started praying and worship in song. As I was in prayer, waiting for God to speak to me (I believe that the Holy Spirit can speak through the Word of God and His voice can speak to your spirit, as long as it lines up with The Word), I heard it loud and clear:

Nursing.

I replied, “What? Nursing? What about it, God?”

I heard the Spirit say, “I want you to do nursing after you complete music school.”

I don’t remember much after that prayer. Maybe I had to go to class, so I wrapped up the prayer, or I most likely ignored that Word. I mean, nursing??? I thought to myself, “I’m a music education major. It doesn’t make sense. Maybe I’m hearing things wrong.”

That wouldn’t be hard to debate. As long as I can remember, I have been a musician. I’ve been singing since the tender age of 7, from church songs, choral music, mimicking R&B singers and their vocal nuances, and just being immersed in all things music. I had shortcomings vocally, as my high school and community college instructors... even friends or church folk... loved to remind me of. I was also a huge fan of school... in fact, I loved being there. As a kid, I would line up my baby dolls... and innocent human bystanders... to be my students as I instructed them. That was a great complaint each time one of my mom’s friends had children over.

“Ugh, Fran is so boring, all she wants to do is play teacher and talk about school. I don’t want to play with her”... or the like. That hurt my little heart, but I would continue to persist as a ‘know it all’, ‘writer’, ‘bookworm’, and ‘annoying raspy voiced singer who knew all the words to the latest urban songs.’ I knew somehow someway I would end up being an educator. I also knew that I wanted to perfect my voice and learn musical skills. When I learned that there was a mixture of my two interests in music education, I jumped on it as soon as I could declare a major.

With all the attitude adjustments, insecurities and growing pains, I was tolerated, loved, endured and developed as a music educator and there was nothing else I wanted. I love God, so I would pray and ask God for direction, so when I heard nursing, I was blindsided to say the least.

I went through my senior year of college and painfully made it through a teaching internship. Losing my voice, being mocked, struggles with teaching in a way that was comfortable to me without being ridiculed, I looked deeper into that nagging word, “nursing.”

I had full support from a fellow registered nurse: my mother. She never forced me down that path. So when I graduated with my Bachelor of Music in Music Education in December 2009, it was no secret that I was going to be taking pre-requisites towards nursing school. I taught music at a small music school by day, and took classes before and after sessions. My growing pains with my attitude made my transitions here tough, not to mention a lack of support from what seemed like everyone.

“You’re only doing nursing for the money.”

“You’re only doing nursing to follow your mom.”

“You’re doing nursing to help support your music.”

“You’re a musician. You need to focus on that.”

I didn’t make it better as I complained about how hard nursing was. From the schooling to what felt like being thrust into the intensive care unit as a new graduate, I’d given up on nursing several times... leaving it for a total of six months to go back into education... only to get fired due to various reasons..but I believe those doors closed because I was meant to be a registered nurse....

... but what about the fine arts? It was all I ever knew and loved. How could God give me a direction about teaching and music, then registered nursing? It doesn’t make sense at all. It still doesn’t... but it works.

In 2017, after a series of hardships and losses, I finally started to find my groove. I realized that I could balance registered nursing and music in my life... and all I had to do was listen to God and how He was gonna make it work. I realized that I was ‘playing the Christian role’, but I was halfway listening and after more discovery this year, I wasn’t trusting or as obedient to HIM like I thought I was.

That’s the great thing about a being a follower of Christ. He loves us so much that if we come to Him as we are, no matter what, He’ll forgive us, but it comes with a price: we have to commit to doing things His way if we say we are believers of Christ. Perfectly Imperfect.

By 2018, I founded The Musings Group, LLC, a multipurpose company that offers vocal training, musical study, script writing and film productions and other forms of art based on one another’s musings. As a nurse, I found my groove and elected to work as a resource nurse: when needed... or per diem. I have many hats as a specialty nurse, and while I don’t think I’m the best, I’m definitely growing and getting better daily. I’m also in school studying to become a nurse educator and nurse practitioner.

In everything I am doing, I felt God’s leading to go forth. He’s making it happen, I just had to submit to it... and I do daily... and obey the path. I know many people aren’t Christian or don’t understand being led by God’s voice. I know that I’ve had great experiences whenever I’ve chosen to serve HIM and abide by HIS WORD. I also know that my attitude and tone is forever growing and changing to conform to HIS... like I said, Perfectly Imperfect.., but I know that I have The One who I see as perfect, and He loves me enough that He allowed me to discover my identity:

A follower of Christ made new, who found the science in art and the art in science.

Go figure.