The Art of Faking It Till You Make It

Ever been to one of those fancy university debates? I recently attended one at Oxford Union where the proposition was all about "faking it till you make it." And honestly? It was hilarious, thought-provoking, and weirdly relatable all at once.

The speaker started with a rather cheeky opening about faking orgasms of all things! Can you imagine? There in that stuffy, prestigious hall, asking people to raise their hands if they've ever faked pleasure. Bold move. I was cringing and laughing simultaneously.

But beneath the jokes was a solid point - we all fake aspects of ourselves sometimes, and maybe that's not such a bad thing.

Think about it. How many times have you pretended to love your grandmother's Christmas socks? Or added a tiny embellishment to your resume? We've all been there.

The speaker himself admitted he was faking confidence during his first public speaking gig. And isn't that how we grow? By stepping into roles we're not quite ready for yet?

Oxford itself, according to him, is a world of masks. Not the secret society kind (though he joked about those too), but the kind that let students reinvent themselves, reach higher than they could before.

I remember my first job interview. I was terrified, completely underqualified, but I put on my best "I totally know what I'm doing" face. And guess what? I got the job. Then I learned how to actually do it.

Of course, there are limits. We don't want fake doctors performing surgeries! The speaker joked about sketchy GPs being overly keen on prostate exams, which had the audience roaring with laughter.

Speaking of faking it, I've been reading this fantastic book lately - "The Confidence Game" by Maria Konnikova. It explores the psychology of con artists and why we fall for their tricks. Surprisingly relevant to this whole debate, as it examines the fine line between confidence and deception.

The speaker mentioned a survey that found nearly half of American men believe they could land a passenger plane in an emergency. Ridiculous? Absolutely. But there's something admirable about that misplaced confidence too.

Sometimes faking it is about social survival. Like pretending to enjoy yourself at a club that's actually terrible, just to fit in. We've all convinced ourselves we're having fun when we're not.

One part that really hit home was when the speaker referenced his university personal statement. He'd written that "English literature is a solace of freedom in which I can truly express myself." But in reality, he found it more like a prison sentence.

Yet that little white lie got him into Oxford. And without it, he wouldn't have been standing at that podium making us all laugh and think.

I've done the same. Job applications where I've stretched the truth about my "passion" for corporate values. Dating profiles where I've claimed to enjoy hiking (I don't). Times I've nodded along in conversations about books I've never read.

And you know what? Sometimes those little lies lead to real growth. I've ended up actually enjoying some of those hikes. I've read some of those books later and loved them.

There's a thin line between harmful deception and the kind of fake-it-till-you-make-it attitude that pushes us forward.

The debate made me think about all the masks we wear daily. The professional one at work. The cool one with friends. The perfect one on social media.

Are these really fake versions of ourselves? Or are they aspirational identities we're growing into?

I'm starting to think that a little fakery might be essential to human growth. We imagine ourselves as something more, then step into that role until it fits.

As long as we're not hurting others or committing fraud (the speaker joked this would empty about 70% of the Oxford Union room), maybe faking it isn't just acceptable - it's necessary.

So here's to all of us pretenders out there. The nervous speakers faking confidence. The underqualified job candidates faking competence. The lonely hearts faking social comfort.

Keep faking it. It might just be the best chance you have to actually make it.