Thankful

Thankful

Sarah Johnson

Nov 21, 2020

What is thankful? Dictionary.com defines thankful as, “feeling or expressing gratitude; appreciative,” (Thankful. 2020. Retrieved from https://www.dictionary.com/browse/thankful?s=t). But what is thankful to you? When someone asks you this question, do you come to a brick wall? Do you have a moment of pausing because you can’t think of anything to be thankful for? Do you have a list of a million things that go flying off like sparks because there are too many to name? Or do you have tears that swell up in your eyes like me because you’ve been stuck in both. I know for some this year has been a year in which many have lost their jobs, many have become homeless, many feel like they're losing it all, many have been separated from families, some have had to learn, (for their first time) to teach, cook, and work from home. Some have even fallen in love with this while others it’s been really tough. That’s ok, the reality is that there is always something we can be thankful for. That might be a hard pill to swallow for some more than others, depending on where you are in your journey.

At age 19-20, if you had told me this I would’ve probably cursed at you. During that time I was just beginning my journey of learning who I was, what I was supposed to do with my life and bouncing from place to place. I joined the military and got a lot tougher than I was before joining. I came across so many people who had little, had a lot, grew up with tough parents, no parents, careless parents, etc. I learned a lot about the world that I couldn't have learned about at home. Why do I share this? Because I want you to know the parts of my life where I experienced moments of feeling like there was a brick wall when someone might ask, “what are you thankful for?” There were moments in my life when Uber was the only job I had to make income for my husband and I. Moments when I questioned the existence of God and didn’t know what in my life there was to be thankful for. There were moments in my life when $8 dollars was all I had… but I had something right? There was a time when I was about to be evicted and I was in my first trimester of pregnancy. I had a husband who was trying so hard to get a job of any kind just to make ends meet. There was a time in my life when I considered being a stripper because I had no place to stay, no job, and no money in my bank account. However, all of these times there was always something to be thankful for.

I had people who were willing to let me stay in their places, I somehow had food to eat, and then came the military. I had a husband who, though jobless, was trying hard to do what he could and made sure to take care of our son and I.

There are so many mornings I can wake up and feel like crap because I’m not driving a Bugatti, I don't have my career all set in place, I’m not the smartest person in the world, I don't live in a mansion, etc. This list could go on. I bet you got a list too… we all do. However, the truth is there's so much that we can be thankful for if we really take the time to write it out. The first one would be one we overlook, waking up. So being alive. Your health. Your clothes. Your food. Whatever it is, I realized that looking at the negatives in my life was not gonna bring me to Step B.

Today, I’m farther than I ever thought I’d be at 23. Am I where I’d like to be? No. I have so many dreams, goals, and things I’d like to do but I’m blessed. I’m alive, my son is healthy, my husband has a job, we own a home. I never thought I’d be here at 23.

This past week was one of those weeks I could take and throw in the trash because I found out that my new job was a scam company and I got scammed for 2,850 dollars but here’s the thing… it wasn’t a million. It wasn’t everything I got. I still have my house, I still have a hard working and loving husband, my son is happy and content. I got my family's support which is a lot more than many can say. I’ve got amazing parents, 7 awesome siblings. I have so much to be thankful for this year regardless of all the crazy that’s surrounding me. God has been good to me even when I didn't realize it. So I share with you my bad moments so that I can ultimately share all the good in my life. All the things that I appreciate or feel gratitude toward. What are some things you're thankful for? What are things you could easily overlook or currently do? I’m thankful for another year with my family, I’m thankful for this upcoming thanksgiving, for God’s provisions, for being a homeowner, for a loving and hardworking husband/father, for a beautiful and healthy 2 year old son, for my sisters, for my brothers, for my parents, for food, for water, for a car, etc. This list could be endless if I really wanted to list everything I’m thankful for. In conclusion, I’m thankful for being where I am today and where I was at 20, at 17, at 12. Why? Because it brought me to the person I am today and all that I have today.