Taking Responsibility

I'm not going to deny the fact that one of my pet peeves in life is when people refuse to take responsibility for their decisions and actions. It's these same group of people who will never admit to being wrong, or never accept that they have made a mistake or error. Even when there is overwhelming evidence against them, proving that they were indeed at fault or in the wrong, they still claim innocence. When they are completely cornered into being guilty, they then resort to passing the blame on someone, or something, else. You will find a lot of the time that these same people also become very agitated and irritable when they are proven wrong. They become very defensive and often try to deflect the conversation around back on us, reeling off a list of all our faults and flaws, and even getting quite personal about it all. The concerning aspect to all of this is the extraordinarily high number of people in the world that are in fact this type of individual. I think at some, even many, times in our life, we have been guilty of proclaiming innocence from a mistake or error, that we know we indeed did make, yet we are too proud to admit it. I'm certainly no saint, and I'll admit that I have done it before, so it does make me sound a little hypocritical perhaps, but over these past few years, I have made a concerted effort to change my behavior with it. Probably for the fact that I've changed myself to begin taking responsibility, and have now become accountable, for my mistakes and errors, witnessing others not doing the same is probably a reason why it has become one of my pet peeves.

So the question must be asked; why do we so often fail to admit, and take responsibility for our decisions, actions, mistakes, and errors? We all make mistakes after all, and we do so because we are human. That then alters the question to become; why are we so fearful of being perceived as being human? Doesn't really make sense, does it? Well, I mentioned above that one of the reasons people will not admit to error, or take responsibility for their decisions and actions, is because of their pride. So many people are fearful they will lose the respect of others, in doing so. In fact, most of the reasons why people fail to admit to error, revolves around how they will be perceived by others. Not only do they fear that people will lose respect for them, in the knowledge they have made a mistake, but they also fear that others will then judge them, criticize them, embarrass them, make them look foolish, lecture them, yell at them, and so forth. They don't want to do anything that has the potential to paint them in a bad light, it's a simple as that. They don't want to have to engage in a disagreement or conflict off the back of something they know they did wrong, because they have no support for their claims. They will do anything to protect the likability, respect, and admiration, that others have for them. The funny thing is though, most people will actually lose the respect, admiration, and likability, towards someone, in having found out that individual is lying, or failing to be accountable for their decisions and actions. I can think of two or three individuals in my life, straight off the top of my head, who I've lost total respect for, due to their constant denial of being in the wrong, or having made mistakes. We all make mistakes, so what's the big deal admitting when we are wrong?

Many individuals deny their mistakes and errors purely in a bid to protect their self-esteem. They know full well that they make mistakes, yet they place such high expectations on themselves to be faultless and flawless, that when they do make mistakes and errors, they punish themselves internally for it. It gives their mind another reason to be hard on themselves because they have failed themselves, they have failed to meet the standards they set for themselves, and it pains them to be wrong. They find it extremely hard to forgive themselves for their mistakes. They will pass blame in order to avoid having to go through the trials of internal self-punishment, hence why they defend themselves to the hilt about being in the wrong. Others will do it in a bid to prove themselves as being more superior than others. They believe themselves to be at a higher standard in their morals, attitude, education, experience, and behavior, in comparison to other people, so they will refuse to accept having made mistakes and errors that involve others whom they view as inferior to them. I look back at the times where I refused to admit my mistakes and errors, and wonder why the hell I took so long to become someone who started taking responsibility for their own decisions and actions. When we fail to admit fault, we in fact do punish ourselves internally for it. We may defend ourselves to others, and refuse to admit being guilty, but internally, we know full well that we stuffed up. These such instances can often lead to regret. We hold on to that guilt, rather than accepting our errors, and allowing ourselves forgiveness, therefore making it hard for us to focus on other things, and go forth with a positive mindset.

If you're unhappy with the circumstances you find yourself in life at this present moment, or perhaps with certain aspects in your life, be it career, relationships, finance, health, family, goals, lifestyle, spirituality, and so on, the harsh truth is, you are actually to blame for it. You are where you are, and who you are, today, as a result of a string of decisions you have made, and a string of actions you have taken, along the journey that is your life. Now don't beat yourself up about it, because that's the last thing you should be doing. Take comfort in the fact that you are one in an overwhelmingly large group of individuals worldwide, who are in exactly the same position. They too are unhappy with their life, or aspects of their life. One of the biggest reasons why people continue to be unhappy though, is because they refuse to take responsibility for where they are in life. To them, the reason why they are unhappy, and the reason why they are where they are, is all because of something externally. How can you expect to transition from being unhappy to happy, if you're not willing to change? You need to change your thoughts, attitude, and behavior, around denying your faults, errors, and poor decisions, to accepting that you have made mistakes, taking responsibility for them, and then working on bettering yourself and learning from your errors. You can't progress in life if you continue holding yourself captive by all the wrong decisions you have made, and actions you have taken. It's what you do today, and moving forward, that now matters!

Denying responsibility for your decisions and actions is negative thinking. Remember, you are human, and you naturally will make mistakes from time to time, we all do! So firstly, take ownership. Be accountable for your decisions and actions, be them right or wrong ones. Take responsibility for them. When you make an error or mistake, then accept it, learn from it, and most importantly, forgive yourself for it. Appreciate yourself, love yourself, and continue believing in yourself. Don't ever be ashamed to admit fault, because to do so, is a sign of greatness. Stay focused on being positive minded. Any negative thoughts that begin to creep into your head, note them down, but then counteract them with three positives. This may come from showing appreciation and gratitude, even towards those simple things you may take for granted every day, which are really a blessing. Monitor how you are speaking to yourself, and whether you are punishing yourself internally, or whether you are trying to uplift and motivate yourself. Take the time to invest in some mindset training, meditation, and personal development activities, in order to strengthen your mind, and help you feel more positive about yourself and life. Engage in content that is beneficial, such as motivational videos and books, rather than mindlessly scrolling through social media. If you truly want your future to be blessed with success, happiness, prosperity, and fulfillment, then start taking responsibility for your decisions and actions. There will be times of failure and mistakes ahead, that is normal, but simply pick yourself up, dust yourself off, learn from these moments, and allow them to strengthen you. You want to reach the stage in life where can be responsible for all the success and accomplishments you have achieved, rather than constantly having to take responsibility for making the wrong decisions, and having not taken action to transform your life, as you continually live your life in unhappiness. Start taking responsibility for your life today!

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