healing
How to heal fully and properly.
Starting Over
So it's been a while since I've written anything and there is an extremely legit reason for it. I'm one week away from giving birth and my baby daddy is still an unbelievable deadbeat who wants absolutely nothing to do with his own daughter which is fine with me because with how fucked up his family is I really don't even want my child associated with them. I'm even wrestling with myself over whether or not to even give her that last name when she's born. I've recently gotten into another relationship with a guy who is the complete opposite of my ex. He actually loves me and my baby right to death and there is nothing in this world that he wouldn't do for either of us. I'm going to be moving into my very own place very soon as well and I've finally gotten the career that I've always wanted; I'm going to be working at a preschool/daycare center. My life is finally coming together and it's all because I got away from the abusive ex and decided to not let anyone or anything stop me from achieving my dreams. I have no one but myself to credit for any of it because I've been the one getting myself to and from appointments, job interviews, filling out any and all paper work that I needed to get done and just basically working on myself so that I could provide a better life for myself and my children. See for the past 7 months I've been homeless. I've been basically doing whatever I can to get by. No, I don't mean that I've been prostituting myself for money what I do mean is I have been cleaning peoples cars, apartments/houses and babysitting just so I can get by when I need money. I can't wait for this nightmare to finally be over so I can get to see what challenges life may hold for me next. Whatever it may be I will be ready and I will overcome them. I know this because I have managed to do it time and time again. I'm hoping this time will be the last time I ever have to do it. I fucking hate having to start over. Truth be told it absolutely sucks! I admit this new chapter that I'm starting is kind of exciting but it's also scary and overwhelming. I've gotten to meet some new and interesting people along the way. I've also learned a lot of new things about myself. I've learned that I'm stronger than I ever thought I could be. I've learned that I'm resilient. I've learned that I may get knocked down but that I will ALWAYS get myself back up with or without anyone backing my ass up. I've learned that I can pick up my pieces and put myself back together. I've learned to actually give myself credit and to cut myself some slack. I've learned to take things as they come and to no longer sweat the small stuff. This time around I'm going for gold. I won't be distracted nor will I ever allow anyone to take my self respect from me again. I will never allow anyone to ever make me feel worthless. I will never allow someone to make me feel so helpless that I actually attempt to take my own life again. I'm starting over and this time it's for keeps. I now know that I can"t rely on anyone but myself for anything and that's okay with me cause I know I got this.
By Phoenix Cobain7 years ago in Motivation
Hanging On
Everyone’s heard about anxiety, and many people self-diagnose themselves with it just because they’re feeling slightly stressed at the moment. However, there is a clear line between feeling stressed and having a chronic mental illness. At 13, when I was being terribly bullied in the seventh-grade, sent home crying every day in my catholic school uniform that never met with their expectations. I went to a therapist for self harm. It was there where she told me I had anxiety.
By Rachel Jennetti7 years ago in Motivation
Without Darkness
“Stars can’t shine without darkness,” ~ D.H. Sidebottom, Fragile Truths. If I asked you to think about when you have faced your worst day, the worst experience, or the worst memory, what would you end the tale with? Would you simply say: "Things are fine now though" or "I wish it never happened...?"
By Mel E. Furnish7 years ago in Motivation
Peace of Mind
Everyone, at one point in their lives, does things that they are not proud of and then later allows it to ruin their peace. When I say everyone, I mean everyone. Take me for example, I have done many things that I am not proud of and now here I am at 8 pm on a Monday night with my mind reeling. I want to have a calm, quiet, and peaceful mind and yet for some reason, all I can think about, or more accurately dwell on, are the things I have done in the past. These things are in the past and yet they still prove to be such an issue and it is not for the things themselves, but it is because of the way they make me see myself.
By Hannah Taylor7 years ago in Motivation
Letter to Myself
The hardest thing I had to write is staring me in the face. As ink hits the paper, my heart breaks. I'm starting with life as I knew it back then. I stood my ground then I crumbled. Had no one in my corner, and I couldn't fight my own battles. I didn't know what to do. I could never just be me. I was a gentle soul. I was always taken for granted, and always taken advantage of. I was weak in everyone's eyes. I should’ve known what I know now to be better. At times when I'm feeling like this, I wish my mom was here.
By Danyelle Lewinson8 years ago in Motivation
The Effects of Poverty on a Teen
The idea of poverty is a social stigma, especially since we are accustomed to living decent lives in our developed countries. When poverty is mentioned, people tend to generate the idea of sad children commercials compelling them to "donate now," when in fact people who are influenced by it are everywhere. For people who have had the luck to never experience the struggle of staying afloat, these ideas may make a person naive, and less sensitive to the topic of poverty. Usually hidden in the depths of society, it is hard to recognize a person who is struggling, other times it can be quite obvious. Sometimes there is a fear of embarrassment for a person to use resources available when in need, like food banks, soup kitchens or shelters. But growing up and watching your family struggle long and hard, the greatest fear I have personally, is falling back into the known cycle of poverty.
By Melanie Hutchinson-Rodgers8 years ago in Motivation
How Surfing Changes Lives
It's almost a scene out of a movie. Maybe it's a guy with long golden hair as he walks out of the water, a surfboard tucked under his arm. He flips his hair as he passes a group of girls who peek at him over their sunglasses. Maybe there's a girl catching bigger, steeper waves out there than most of the guys, catching a sponsors attention.
By Sydney Hynson8 years ago in Motivation
Grateful
Life is a battle. We want to wrestle to make life work for us, but our life rarely works out how we envision. When I try to hold tight, and control what I want in my life it is a recipe to suffocate it and die. When I think about how the natural world works there is a time for caution, and a time for relaxation, but they are balanced, organic, easy. Like the sleeping lion for instance, there is always time to find peace even in the most aggressive animals. In America, it seems that we race and run our lives seeking, wanting, craving better or different, and we often forget to think about what we have. I was reminded this week to be mindful, to "just be," to stop struggling, and to relax into myself and find gratefulness. When you create the story of your life in a series of negative events, you pile yourself with worry, and unhappiness. We need to remind ourselves each day about what we have, and even if it is just for a couple of minutes, take out the time.
By SAYHERNAME Morgan Sankofa8 years ago in Motivation
Forgiveness
Forgiveness, what an unheard of word in today's world of so much senseless and gruel hate. Just reading a newspaper or watching the evening news, you will be bombarded with so many hate-filled stories it sickens the stomach. I just don't understand society anymore. I truly, in my heart of hearts, believe that if more had an ounce of forgiveness in them, they would have no room left for so much anger and hate.
By Jodi Roberts8 years ago in Motivation
