healing
How to heal fully and properly.
Apartment 12
The past few months have been full of introspection. For the first time, the world seemed to slow down and allow me to bask in my thoughts. Merriam-Webster defines introspection as: "a reflective looking-inward; an examination of one's thoughts and feelings." As an empath, my feelings and the environment become a fluid interchange. I have a vital concern for others at an unbreakable depth, and yet my emotional empathy and capability to self soothe is deeply repressed due to childhood conditioning. My depression the past few months guided me into a profound transformation that changed my life for the better. I sometimes become a stranger to my own emotional experience, so I learned to use my solitude to create my own paradise to retreat into.
By Shontel Anestasia5 years ago in Motivation
Suicide Prevention
You want to kill yourself? It's 10.53pm on a Sunday night. You've already said goodnight to your parents and siblings. They think your sound asleep. Your at your desk twirling a pen in your hand. You stare at the blank piece of paper as the tears refill your eyes. You don't want to do it without a goodbye letter. You want to make sure your family knows why you did it. The tears fall on the paper and you can help the frustration as the droplets begin to ruin the paper. You crumble it up and break down even harder. You realise you can't write the letter, so you look in the mirror once more and watch as your final tears falls. Only a couple moments later your heart stops and the blood escapes your body to create a puddle on the floor. But no one is gonna care right?
By Shanice 5 years ago in Motivation
Thankful
During these times of pandemic stress and fear, there is so much to be thankful for. As a mix raced Latina, one of the most common medical issues the Latino race is so kindly bestowed, has now been handed down to me. On top of that, a medical issue that shows no providing evidence and most doctors believe as a hoax, has also generated. Generated by giving me a life with chronic pain, IBS, anxiety, and depression. Therefore, leaving doctors to say it’s a mental disorder, while others say it is a central nervous issue. A medical issue with no evidence of where it begins, only leaving an invisible force of pain with the fear to be active due to the consequences of tomorrow. These medical conditions leave me thankful for every breathe I am granted to take. Thankful for every beat in which the valves can pump blood to and through the heart, even with its murmur.
By Deborah Portillo5 years ago in Motivation
The night I saw the devil himself!!
I’ve always wondered why I was born in a world so dark and cold, survival seems to be all one ever known. An innocent child brought into a world surrounded by violence and hatred and little love for her is usually destined to fail, but not me, even as an infant for some reason I refused to give up!! Failure was never an option for me, I was determined to survive!! At just thirteen years old I had been through more than any young girl my age should’ve ever had to experience, being molested daily by my own brothers while my mother was working, yes the brothers who were supposed to be protecting me were amongst the very ones destroying me mentally and abusing me physically, but it don’t stop there, that wasn’t even the beginning. As a child I’d been molested so many times by there age of thirteen until that was all I knew, it was normal for me, but it never say right with me. Life was so dark and cold and lonely for me, but what was I to do? My dad was absent from my life and my mother was drunk when she wasn’t working, so I had no one to protect me, I was surviving a life that no child should ever have to imagine. Then one night as I was sleeping in bed, I had another nightmare, they were common to me, I had them all the time and would wake up screaming. My mother said I had nightmares because I was so mean and evil but it wasn’t until a few years ago that I realized my nightmares were generated from all the trauma I had faced in my life, being molested all your life but not just by your brothers, but your uncle, brothers friends and of course your mother’s boyfriend are all the more reason for you to be afraid your entire life and only is definitely a great recipe for nightmares. Well this particular night was different, I woke up in my dream, I shared a room with my sister and we had separate beds across from one another, she had to have been no more than five years old at the time and sound asleep. This night I was awakened by a tugging on my blanket, and when I opened my eyes I was scared stiff for a moment, I saw a man’s dark figure standing next to my bed and he had a gold hoop like ring that he was trying to pull up over my body, this ring started at my feet and he was pulling it up towards my head, it was almost at my knees. Suddenly I was able to breathe and I tried to scream, but this figure of a man put his hand over my mouth and said....ssssshhhh you have to be quiet, but I couldn’t, I didn’t know what was going on but I knew it wasn’t good, so I started kicking to get that ring from around my legs and feet and add I kicked he had to move his hands from my mouth, and I started to scream but he instantly covered my mouth again, he looked in my eyes with his red scary eyes and told me that he wanted me for himself and that I was his. I started crying so hard and kicking as hard as I could because I knew he couldn’t hold my mouth and pull that ring up on me and finally I was able to kick it off my feet and I plunged for my little sister’s bed, but this demon wasn’t giving up so easy, he tried to pull me back but I had grabbed a hold of my sister and he yelled, let her go!! I can’t take her she’s too young!! But I couldn’t let her go because I knew that to let her go would mean for him to take me, so I held on with all the strength I had and I screamed to the top of my voice, finally my mother heard me from downstairs and I could hear her running up the stairs to my room, he must’ve heard her too because he instantly went out the window. When my mother got to our room and turned on the light, I was in bed with my sister cuddled so close to her and pulling her so close to me that she had began to cry, my mother asked me what’s wrong and she saw me trembling with fear and pried my hands and arms from around my sister, when I told her what happened she didn’t believe me, once again she said...” you’re just having nightmares because you’re so mean and evil “, but I told her no, look at my window, she looked and it was opened and the curtains blowing from the night wind. My mother asked how the window got opened because she had locked it before we went to bed and I told her, it wasn’ta dream it was real, the devil went out the window when she started up the stairs. That was the night my mother gave me my own Bible and told me whenever I had a bad dream or nightmare to call out Jesus name in my dream. Needless to say, I’ve had a lot, more than my share of nights I’ve had to call out Jesus’s name as I dreamt. But this was only the beginning!!
By Shattered Never Broken (Ms Riley)5 years ago in Motivation
Soul Speaking Moments
The doctor came in looking fearful and worried. He tapped the file in his hand over and over. Tap, tap, tap, tap… He was young and inexperienced, working late night in the ER. The doctor that gave me my official diagnosis and treatment was an experienced, cure creating genius who I owe my life.
By SouloCircus5 years ago in Motivation
Healing My Heartache
Mostly the part that hurts the most is how to even say thank you to those who you grew up with and lived with for so long. My heart aches each time I must consider the idea of giving thanks to the ones I knew since birth. What about the ones I knew when I was in school, and the loved ones I met throughout high school. Giving thanks to many of those who you have known has become an aching task where my heart breaks. I cannot even think about the idea of giving thanks to anyone of my past.
By Life of Melissaa5 years ago in Motivation
Gratitude: One of the Important Lessons from 2020
At the beginning of the pandemic, I did not feel thankful for anything. Facing the surreal reality of lockdown, social distancing, death, grief, trauma and anger did not fit into the gratitude category for me. I was nothing but unhappy, so that prevented my ability to be thankful for what I have in my life. I just didn't reveal the negative emotions I was facing, because I am tough as a cookie.
By Talia Devora5 years ago in Motivation
MS and the Pandemic
I was in the middle of ‘retirement’, moving, instructing kids who were new to remote learning, and entering another Texas summer. Like most years, the heat skipped the acclimation period and came in HOT, in what seemed like hours after a late season cool front, adding insult to injury. To say the least, MS had my number, and I was all but ready to wave my white flag.
By Shawn Tietze 5 years ago in Motivation
What is Shadow Work?
Shadow work is the journey of discovering your inner darkness or what some may call, "Shadow Self." Shadow work is help uncover every part of your inner self. Accessing that place you repressed and rejected. Shadow work is one of the most authentic journeys into finding Enlightenment.
By Nia on Air5 years ago in Motivation
Letter to my 18 year old self
Dear 18 year old me, It gets better. I promise. You think that at 18 life can't get any better but it can and it will. You're a beautiful person inside and out. Don't let anyone tell you any different. People are going to call you crazy for how you love unconditionally..do it anyways. People will tell you that you are too forgiving... Do it anyways. People will judge you for being too quiet and then judge you when you say the wrong things....do it anyways.
By Paula Guevara5 years ago in Motivation
