healing
How to heal fully and properly.
Hug Me Tightly, Recovery Before Romance
Perhaps, I'm impenetrable. I'd like to think that someday, someone out there will find me. Someone who is waiting and wondering where I am. I've nearly given up hope, but something tells me that maybe there is someone for me. I'm still not ready yet. Healing from a decade of desperation, darkness, and devastation has left me disoriented and distant.
By Taylor Amy5 years ago in Motivation
The past will win if you let it.
Whatever we think about what we go through always pushes us to do something we thought we never would do in our lives and do we really know what we are doing or does anyone not care at all. I have a friend who used to be a good friend of mine which turned into a lover however, I was a shitty human being to her because I was in a dark place because I hurt her more times than I could count. We eventually forgave each other after all the things we did to each other but now she is in a dark place which I fear she cannot get out of because she is the type of person who cannot let go easily of certain things. Her hurtful words and spiteful actions toward me that it makes me think I did the same to her, I see how she is mirroring the exact same things I did to her so, now I understand how she must have felt when I did that to her. So, if you think actions and words do not do anything to a person, you are more wrong of a person if you have not realized it now whether you like it or not there is always going to be something you regret and cannot take back. Ruining someone can have consequences more than you think but once it is already done, you will realize it is more hurtful than pain itself and nothing can compare to the pain that you feel therefore it is your pain that nobody can feel. With pain comes a price you must pay which could feel like as if you are paying with your soul to bleed every time you make the choices you make that can destroy you as a person. It is something so intense that it will make all your bad feelings look like a joke which cannot compare to the other bad feelings you have ever felt, and, in this life, nothing can prepare you for anything that has not happened yet. Moreover, why is it when it is too late, we know after it has happened. I think if we knew how bad mistakes would happen or how it would be would have change things but that’s not how life works so, we just learn to live with it till it does not hurt anymore. It does not make it easier though, with having the weight on your shoulders we carry as we are trying to move on from the mistakes we could have avoided if we did not think with our hearts rather how it should have been if we thought with our minds. Whichever way you think can always lead you a different way from the other and not knowing how it will end up is a death sentence for your feelings which might as well just dig your own feelings into a grave of no return. I am sure there is more worse things to happen out there then out here somewhere and the most unfortunate thing to happen to someone as they walk right into that worst scenario not knowing what just happened and how they deserved to come across such a horrible thing to come their lives. Whoever is reading this must be thinking “what was the point of this?” well the point is do not take for granted how good you got it because one day you might not have it because there is me suffering and probably others who suffer more than me but once you are suffering alone makes it more greatly bad as it sounds that reason being nobody is going to help you through it. As much as you take the words of positivity from people is all they can do, and you know those words are not enough but to just think about what they said when you are alone with your thoughts. That was my past as of now my message to people who are suffering from whatever they are facing is that if you want to give up because of how hard it is, you should not because I have never seen one person who decided to do nothing about it change their lives that way. Whatever life gives us should not be the negative thoughts of losing it should give us the positive ways of thinking of how we can be better and to make it better for ourselves for us to break from our strongholds we are so used to holding onto.
By Aaron Bluecoat5 years ago in Motivation
Together We Go
My mother has died. And like thousands of others, because of Covid, she is gone without ceremony. And even though I’m shattered by the suddenness, my pain is alleviated because she escaped an otherwise long and painful death. Identifying her body at the funeral home cocooned in PPE was traumatic. Leaving her 77 year old dead body in a frigid, sterile white basement, alone on a steel slab other deceased bodies had no doubt visited, felt unforgivable. My sorrow took me to bed for days.
By Geraldine Lloyd5 years ago in Motivation
Floating slowly up
Each day is a new experience. Yet we as humans treat them sometimes as though each day is the same. We follow time, we do the same things over and over relentlessly. Rise, do our morning routine, which is usually the same things everyday, at the same time, with the same people. We go to work at the same job and do the same work for the same pay sometimes for years at end.
By Lee Naylor5 years ago in Motivation
The Wind in Your Sails
Keep Moving Forward. When I lived in San Diego, I started dating a guy who lived on a 37-foot sailboat. It was cool and weekends on the water were fun. Funny thing was he never took the sailboat out of the harbor where it was docked. It was his home, and he didn’t like moving it around. He did however have a catamaran and one day asked me on a romantic picnic on the water. He neglected to check the weather forecast. I didn’t blame him for overlooking that. San Diego had perfect weather so who would have thought a storm would roll in and there would be a small craft advisory issued for the day. We were a way out on the water when we decided to break open our picnic lunch. Just as I opened the basket the main sail snapped, and we found ourselves drifting out to sea. He was well prepared and had a tool kit for such occasions but with the wind whipping the way it was, it took him a while to fix the sail. The longer it took the further we drifted. The water was getting choppy and the more the little catamaran bounced the more nauseous I became. Soon I was retching uncontrollably while water rushed over the boat and gave me a continual soaking. Once the main was fixed we tried sailing into shore, but the wind wasn’t having it, so we had to tack. This meant instead of sailing straight for the harbor we had to zig zag from left to right sailing parallel to the shore until we made it in. What should have taken thirty minutes, took hours. The wind was increasing, the waves were washing over us, and we were losing sunlight. Our situation was getting dyer by the minute and I was soaked to the bone and still vomiting. We were thirty minutes out. I could see the shore and my hopes were on the rise despite my extreme discomfort when an expensive yacht came racing alongside us. There was a party in full swing and people were out on the deck enjoying their swift ride to the harbor despite the choppy sea.
By Denise Parton5 years ago in Motivation
Priceless Rd
The first rays of Tuesday’s sunlight pierces through my lenses, and as usual around this time, I’m making my way through the outskirts of town to my least favorite of unpaved roads filled with craters unearthed by different creatures that call this desert landscape their home. Priceless Rd. At least that’s what the faded white wooden sign says in red print more than likely applied in the 1960’s or before. A light breeze blows a few small pieces of paper into the wiper blades of my seemingly prehistoric single cab Dodge Ram, and as I begin to activate them only to figure out I’ll have to grab them when I get off at my spot, I realize I have absolutely no idea what year this car is from, but I assume pre-2000’s. It’s strange the sort of gravitational pull this old sign has on my eyes every morning, I just imagine the people it’s seen, or what the area was like when it was erected. Priceless Rd. Definitely doesn’t fit the bill in the roads current state. I have a pretty good hunch it derives its name from that unparalleled view of the Arizona sunrise. Heavenly. Divine. Truly priceless. For that reason, I make sure I leave my house at least thirty minutes early to have my breakfast watching the light take over the somber grey landscape and bring life to the day. The summer has almost made its way back from its vacation in the Southern Hemisphere, yet the crisp March air of this morning and next will reach scorching temperatures by noon. Besides the cool mornings, it feels as if summer is already here. I guess that’s why I make it a point to appreciate the early morning and all it’s allure. As I step down and circle around to my truck bed preparing to dive face first into these three egg and potato breakfast burritos, I feel the light breeze turn into waves of strong wind, and before I can open my brown paper bag, I hear a loud crash. After a short scan of the environment I confirmed to myself I was the only car and person for miles, and before I could come to the next obvious conclusion, I can see shards of old dry wood with faded white paint soaring through the air under the power of the wind. Years of history dissipated in the blink of an eye. I put my bag of burritos down on the truck bed and decided I’d save what I can and took the short jog over to where the remains of the obsolete signage lay in the soft sand. Upon grabbing what was left of the sign, I see a small black figure in the sand and immediately yank my hand away, leaving splinters in my fingers as I sprang up to my feet. After a long thirty seconds of staring this creature down, I begin to doubt it is a creature at all. The wind blows again and as the sand shifts in response I see the leather binding of a small pocket sized booklet. Oddly the pages were mostly clean as if it had only been put in the dirt this morning but the decomposing cover and torn binding of the booklet said otherwise. The first page read in handwritten capital letters, “EVERYTHING HAS A PRICE,” about fifty or so times. The next pages were completely blank except the second to last page, which went into detail about how the feeling of giving is the most priceless experience in the world and the reason for “this gift” is to provide priceless help in a friends time of need. The last words on the page were, “while what’s below is of value please don’t forget, these moments are...” and after that page a few were ripped out. I pocketed the book to review further, then resumed my mission of putting this sign, now only reading “Price,” back into the ground. The soft earth allowed me to slide the post back into the Earth however not as far as previously, forcing me to place the sign a few feet to the left of its former home. For a second I was certain it was just the varying thickness of the landscape preventing me from placing it in the same area, but as curious as I am, I knew I couldn’t leave without at least trying to see what was under the sand. After a few minutes of digging by hand I found a small bag, about the size for a school age child attending their first grade class, though what I found in it was far from elementary school items. Cash. A seemingly unlimited amount of one hundred dollar bills. No way. Upon returning to my truck in disbelief, I remember to finally dislodge the paper from my windshield. As I’m about to let the paper fly off into the wind I can see a familiar print. “PRICELESS” it read. That’s it. The reverse side of the other page read, “Everything has a price and nothing is cheap. What good is money without time?” I thought of all the time I had wasted and what time I have left. What used to seem like forever was truthfully only forty more years, my body slowly breaking down from 12 hour shifts I had taken to eventually enjoy what I had ironically wasted all along.
By Drew5 years ago in Motivation
The Healing Mindset
It was a long time ago when I discovered that I could heal people. Growing up in poverty in the city made it harder for me to accept that part of myself. The idea of helping people in a world that tells you "Every man for himself" is a hard pill to swallow. The city beats you down and tells you that you are a fool if you aren't looking out for yourself. I struggled with the idea of being true to who I was when I was going against who I was supposed to be.
By Jennifer S. Benson 5 years ago in Motivation
Accepting Failiure:
In many ways, my anxiety makes me very similar to my cat. Inside the house, she is the master of her domain. However, when the door is open — when the outside encroaches on the inside — she burrows under the bed. I frequently wish I could join her. We are both, at heart, anxious creatures.
By Lucy Baldwin5 years ago in Motivation
MIA American Citizen within America
I come in peace, here's my story. I am a Christian in America. I have been christened and baptized. I went missing for a year back in 07-08, from my family, and away from friends by one I shall not s peak of. I wanted to be in the Army National Guard, tested into intelligence and almost swore in, but my family discouraged me. So aside from that, I had trust issues because my mother did not accept me when I needed her. After I lived with extended family and saved up to help. I was instead trying to do college on my own then. Was working for my family, but moved out on my own and got robbed for my summer savings by my landlord on Monroe Street. Got kicked out by the police because they were illegal immigrants upstairs. Ordered a credit card to bail me out and it before that and it never came in time. I was already gone. At first I was captured by the one I don't speak of, mentally just by finding their advertisement for $300/per hour legit. They put me into sex trafficking in a way that I was deceived about. I thought I was going to a real business that was "classy" from the newspaper to set me up on real dates and offer me protection. Instead, I was basically raped and starved and threatened to be murdered, which was crazy. I ended up finding my first moment alone and ran away. I took some money jumped in a taxi with a Rostafarian and ducked. Told them to bring me to the airport. So there I was in the airport in my blue fox fur hooded jacket. Catching a lot of attention and I had to figure out a plan fast. So I flew to Las Vegas. Put in an anonymous tip to the NSA and was on the run for my life because I called to warn them and they proceeded to threaten my family and my life. So I reported that. Found out I had to get all my identification back before I could get my Sheriff’s card and dance. From there I wanted to see more west. Met humble families from the newspaper, and stayed with them or in my car. But mostly, I slept in my car. The tough part about sleeping in your car out west is sometimes it’s really cold at night so that’s when you live the night life. Then you have to sleep as well protected from the sun, in the sun, to stay warm. So sleep wasn’t much of an option, nor was food. I danced and had to work out a ton at the 24=hour=fitness=gym if I had a muscle milk. That’s also where I took my showers. I had to live on the beans and salad mostly to pay bills and send money home. I would say there are many reasons I had to run to get the word out and save us in my own way like Pocahontas somehow. But mostly, I just think the people I thought were my friends back there, just needed my help to stop what was going on. So I think that’s why they tried telling me to joke about weapons of mass destruction to people all the time when I was with them. It was like they gave me a Jeffrey so to speak and I just ran away from those people the best I could after I wished them the best the night before. All in all, I still have a soft spot for the people who tried caring about me, but it was just not my cup of tea. But I'm thankful for all of the few and far between angels, I’ve met along the way. One time randomly, I became fearful of my life because I broke one of my anti-party rules. I looked for weed on the wrong side of town in Las Vegas, got put on some sort of laced weed by someone trying to capture me. And somehow I just remember being saved by a man in a Letterman jacket. I don't remember much because I was on some really good weed, but I just know a couple of special people literally saved me out of some weird situations. The other friend was friends with the man in the Letterman jacket. We smoked weed together in his black and yellow striped Charger one time and listened to Say Yeah before, the song, was famous. It was none other than Wiz Khalifa and Ab$oloot. They invited me to the Lupe Fiasco party, but the day of, I ruined my own hair with chemicals by accident. As I lost my awesome cars to needing the repairs and was offered other cars out there. Somehow I was lost again. Two guys showed up and I got stolen from them. Two guys drugged me and took me out to some random place in California. Took my phone from me and I ran away from them trying to keep the beats safe the whole time. But they disappeared like me and everything of mine at a haunted house for the most part of like 13 years. But could not get back to them. I met a psychic who received all my mula at the time I needed to go home and check on my family with. I was planning on fixing what cars I had. But ended up getting scared and taking the bus and flying back by an angel helping me. I got a message that someone wanted to fly me to Seattle for the "good life", but they did not tell me who they were. So I did not go. I wanted to watch over my family first! So now I'm in a civil union marriage with my long-time personal side-kick and protector, Nick Coomes, whom I have two children with and plan to marry when we do better in our future financially. He is pursuing a career in Gold Mining. And I'm trying to go to school part-time for my Bachelor's in Audio Production to Produce Music, and I am ready to sing acapella to make CD's now! Eventually I want to start my own radio station with my family. I believe in the dream of peace because the world can change. We must be humble. When I become rich not famous, I plan to help underprivileged children.
By Norma Jane McGehee5 years ago in Motivation
Motivation Power
The power of motivation is something we can all desire a little more of. We sometimes may forget the power of motivation is inside us, and we must train our own minds to use it in the times when life can feel the hardest to achieve what we are ever so longing for. If we sit on being jealous of others lives, we will be stuck in wishing and wanting to have someone else's life. We all know, we can never have someone else's life. That someone has harnessed the power of their own motivation to become who they are. We too, can do the same in our own lives.
By Isabella 5 years ago in Motivation
