advice
Advice that will put you on the path to success; tips, tricks and nuggets of wisdom from trusted experts and motivational mentors.
Breathe Before You Act
Before I got a tattoo done beneath those beautiful scars I had others beneath them. At first glance people see my artwork displayed on my body, but under the black lines lie physical and emotional scars that are still healing. Since I was a child I’d begin life on a shaky start, I was born into homelessness and had the usual childhood traumas that followed me to adulthood, mainly the ones I tried to forget. I was full of so much anger inside that I turned to alcohol and drugs to self medicate my issues. I even went to therapy to help me get better, but all of it felt like a tidal wave forcing me back under. As a child I was considered to be the odd one out compared to other kids throughout my school years. Instead of women I preferred men, however I dated women because that was the gender structure I’d grown up with, when I realized I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life with a woman I spent three years just making a mistake after another followed by several choices which defined me in the eyes of many others. In my world I was alone...after all a fuck up meant nothing if they didn’t at least “get over their problems” advice was everywhere I went but it always went along the lines of “If you weren’t gay then maybe...” or even at times “If you just acted normal then...” however the worst comment came from my mother “If I would’ve known I was gonna have a child like you I wouldn’t have had you in the first place”. Growing into all these words from friends and family made me at the time feel worthless and even my existence felt pointless. I have both burned and marred skin from the rage I felt inside, not just rage but also disgust. I slept with one too many people out of spite that one day I got high with a man I considered a friend, due to many reasons I won’t ever mention his name, however I will never forget their faces. The pit I buried had collapsed and one day this friend of mine, along with a stranger I didn’t know, took advantage of me while I was riding one of my highs and I was raped. I felt sick to my stomach to the point where even though I had cheated on my girlfriend at the time, I couldn’t even begin to explain to someone that loved me that my rape happened because I went out with a man I’d been with before. That’s the traumas that come with rape, your voice quiets down to barely a whisper, your reflection makes your own skin crawl, and no matter what you do the kindness behind someone’s touch won’t ever feel comforting. I hated my own flesh with a passion, I hated what the men did to me, I hated how I felt inside, but I blamed myself for what happened and instead of dealing with it head on I’d push it to the side because when I drank and snorted a line of coke or smoked meth I would soon forget what happened, yet when I’d wake up I would find out from my family that I’d been a mess the night before. From the videos that my family showed me I couldn’t finish the amount of destrustion and self sabotage I would contantly do. I had so much self guilt that I failed to realize that I was not only hurting myself, I was hurting my family and friends too. I started to cut my body hoping that it would somehow soothe the pain, it did for a while, however that is when my nightmares began. I couldn’t sleep, eat, or even move I lost all my motivation towards life. The day I finally stopped binging was due to two reasons, the first was when I realized my nephew was watching me and suddenly repeated what I was saying...”I hate myself” it was a broken record and hearing a small child of 4 saying what you as an adult is one of many wake up calls that will happen before one day they just stop. The second happened when I tried to kill myself. I forgot how many times I tried but it was the second time in a mental ward that I decided to seek help for my alcoholism. No matter how much someone helps or claims to care, it’s as if mental illness forces a person to view themselves as so un-unique that eventually you just give up. Giving up was never in my vocabulary. I found myself a month later and still in the same spot. Drunk and coked out laying in my room covered in blood. My bed was ripped apart and my book case was halfway across the floor, glass had cut my skin open from my collection of snow globes, and my art was ripped and shattered against the walls. I needed to restart, continue somewhere that I would never again repeat that night. I started to quit smoking, doing drugs, and now I limit myself to a few beers a day instead of 47+liquor. I will not forget my family’s words or even my friends for that matter. I lost my first love to betraying her trust, I destroyed my marriage before a ring was even presented to me officially, and I ruined almost every other relationship after that because my emotions always got the better of me. My tattoo is made up of a heart, the sand krist symbol for breathe, the branches of a willow, and eyes with my Astological sign, the moons, and a sunflower and a rose. They mean “Breathe My Heart And Your Mind Will Ascend”. It was through my own soul searching that I finally found myself again. I had to learn to break before I learned how to officially bend and take the weight of the obstacles that appeared in my future. I have faced hatred, rage, depression, frustration, stress, and more. I’ve also faced many laughters and joys and I’ve met some of the most amazing people. The day I was sent to the hospital I remember crying and saying “I don’t want to die knowing that I have never lived” there is no worse heartache then feeling yourself letting go of life unwillingly and watching your younger sister break down your bedroom door only to find you with a blade in your hand and your arm covered in blood. I’d made my family cry in the past however seeing the looks on their faces broke a part of my heart. To this day many people that have told me they love me have held a special place in it for a long time, I hope they continue to live happily. I still drink alcohol but I no longer drink more than less than a quarter of a 140 ounce, I do drugs every so often but now it’s medicinal marijuana to help with my anxiety, and I still smoke cigarettes as well. I no longer do meth or coke or even heroine. The small victories made me who I became and no one in this world can take that power from me. The men who took the last of my youth allowed me to open my eyes to people that didn’t have good intentions for others, the hateful words towards me only prepared me to fight my own battles in the outside world and no amount of words can hurt me, finally I learned to love myself like the man I deserve to be. I’m still healing on the inside, but it doesn’t mean we’re broken or useless. We are butterflies who’s environment is being destroyed by greedy hands and there is nothing and nobody in this world who can take your beauty away. I wish I knew this sooner before I turned 21. I kept the pattern of hate going on and eventually I managed to stop it. To this day I am now in love again, I have a boyfriend of five months who’s also been my friend for three years through the ups and downs of my personality, I have a supportive family that loves and cares for me, and most of all I never let go of my morals to get ahead in life. I learned to hold myself and others on a pedestal so that we keep holding others and ourselves accountable for our actions, and if there’s changes that occur to keep allowing yourself to grow and expand. The words “I am“ will define you. If I could give myself advise I would hug and kiss myself everyday to remind younger me just how beautiful he really was and I’d say “Don’t let your own words come out of another mouth because that will set the course of how others will treat you later in life, be better than them because one day you’ll see and feel more than you think”. It is hard to recognize your own worth when you’re your own harshest critic, be glad if your different and see yourself in a new mirror. Just like you outgrow your clothes, allow yourself to grow into a new and enlightened mindset. Treat yourself better before you save anyone else. Thank you for reading my story.
By David Flores5 years ago in Motivation
listening to my heart.
I have about ten minutes until my supper is ready and I was told just to write. I have been feeling kind of down lately. I have been grieving, I have been feeling lonely, and I have been feeling like nothing makes sense. Confusion is my main emotion, and I can not get use to it. I love knowing why something happened, and what happened. I hate not knowing, and I hate when you know alittle but not the whole picture. Sometimes I wonder if we will ever get the answers we need. I Just do not know understand life sometimes.
By That One Barista5 years ago in Motivation
What self love really looks like
When we think about self love we usually think just about loving everything about ourselves. While this is part of it, there's so much more to it. I have learned so much when I started to accept who I am. I'm still learning to accept myself but I'm slowly accepting who I am.
By Lena Bailey5 years ago in Motivation
The foundation of money and wealth
As of the present, there are approximately seven point eight billion humans alive all at the same time around the word. Divided throughout countless cultures, nationalities, background, identities and believes. But most importantly divided according to wealth distribution. Perhaps been the most common and an equally predominant factor dividing the human species in today’s modern era. When talking about the concept of wealth. It could be engrossed down to the sovereign scale. Defining the distribution of wealth among nation states. And although the distribution of wealth among sovereign states is uneven, the distribution of wealth individually in each nation state is just as uneven if not greater.
By Alain junior5 years ago in Motivation
Loud As Thunder
So, I won't lie. It almost felt like my bed, as I struggled just now to get up (groggy to say the least) and type these letters from the couch. I mean my life could really be a movie, most ties I feel it is given what I've been through, but I try not to make mines seem better or worse because we all have our own story. However, we can get into that later, this is merely based on the present and presently mental health is being challenged everyday of our lives given the circumstances. I'm not only speaking on "COVID-19", but just the fact that we are a little MAD here or crazy (as I like to believe). Just don't quote me, but we all are human. Faults and all. I've come to find recently and personally, I let my past show up in ways it shouldn't (see, I'm growing) and I'm learning from that. Especially being single and in an relationship at the same time. I know I know, don't judge me, but it really is confusing as it sounds. While you may have your own opinion, I know I can't be the only one! It's hard just like life, but my question to you is, are you taking care of yourself? Are you ensuring that your focusing on yourself enough to leave people and thing alone that no longer promote your growth or make you happy? Life is hard enough so give yourself a break and don't take NO for an answer, simply cause the life you yearn for is awaiting. When you wait on others in any given circumstances, you never know what opportunities your missing out on or blessings that have passed you by cause of one small decision or step. I'd be lying if I said it's gonna be easy cause it's not, but you can do it. I did, time before which I often forget and that's what fucks me up at times, but I can believe in you more than I can myself at times and that should speak volumes. You only have one life, don't let it pass you by. You find that strength and courage from within, talk or pray to whatever it/who you believe in and you GO. Wherever your heart leads you. Sometimes we have to reflect on not only the good, but the bad too just to remember what we did before in similar situations so we recognize the reality. No pressure at all cause we all move at our own pace, just don't wait too long to do for you as I have. My prayers are with you, be an example for the future cause it's YOUR life and nobody else's. Talk to you soon, and then we can get a little bit more nosey, gotta laugh to keep from crying right!
By Thunder Snow5 years ago in Motivation
One World 🌎 with many perspectives!
When it comes to “clear” communication, Nothing is heavier than the weight of your own perspective! It’s a thick fog or heavy blanket that traps you in the prison of “I’m right!”... “I shouldn’t have to!” ... “I won’t apologize...” “They owe ME!”... or “I’m doing what makes me happy” ... “it’s all about me!” And so on and so forth, you get the gist. 🙄 Simply put, its cuz your perspective, IS all about YOU!! (Even if other people agree... they might be inmates, trapped right along with you) However, it’s only when you choose to see YOUR prison from another perspective that you can view... there are no locks, no prison bars, no walls, no cell, no keys... you are the only one keeping you trapped in YOUR View!!
By marques johnson5 years ago in Motivation
Immaculate Positivity.
YOU SPEAK GOOD INTO YOUR LIFE..........Wiser words have never been said by my cousin, okay maybe there have been a few more wise words spoken by her......but she's getting the immaculate vibe we are sending out to the universe right now. When being positive the universe sends out vibes and then reverses them back into the world you live in , and you recieve goodness. The more positive you are, the better chances of immaculate vibes will be for you. Being negative is looking at your glass half empty but in reality it is all the way full. When you think about it, life can either go one or two ways and you have full control of which way to turn. When I was in high school, life always went one way for me and no other way. I had no way of knowing that my decisions based in high school would affect me the way they did. My dad has always told me every action, has a reaction. When I realized that what I was putting into my world was maxing out my energy either for the worse or best, I began to realize a few things and I hope these things help you in trying to be a positive person, and letting that pitcher flow more than it ever has.
By That One Barista5 years ago in Motivation
Being a Young Adult
I don't remember exactly how many times I was asked "what do you want to be when you grow up" but I know it was a lot. When I was younger my answers always consisted of "I want to be a Doctor, or a Vet". But as I got older that quickly became "I don't know". You go through all of these career tests and quizzes when you are in high school. I'm not quite sure what purpose those served. was it to give us option or to tell us what we needed to be? Because without fail, at the end of each one I would get my results and feel way more confused than I did before starting it.
By Alicia Coon5 years ago in Motivation
7.8 Billion People & Only 1 You
There are an estimated 7.8 billion people in the world in 2020, and there is only one you. Let that sink in a moment. That means that there are 7,999,999,999 other people in the world; and not a single one could replace you in this world. Not even one person out of billions is able to give the world exactly what you do; simply by being present on Earth. You are literally irreplaceable.
By Timothy A Rowland5 years ago in Motivation
