Staying Mentally Strong

If you grew up playing the board games Life, Risk, or Monopoly, then you know events can change a player's fortunes quickly. If you’ve lived long enough, then you know life is continually changing with a revolving door of obstacles to overcome. Some are merely pebbles to step over, and others are mountains to be climbed. A person with low mental strength will turn the pebbles into mountains and give up trying to win the game. One who is resilient makes the mountain a heap of stones and push toward winning.

Which are you? Not sure? Then do the self-diagnostic test below. Before you start, though, you need to know that mental strength is nothing more than attributes we have or can attain with effort. If you see that you’re not as mentally tough as you thought, then start working on your weaknesses, and you’ll see your strength improve in every area of your life.

Mental Health Check-Up

1. Hows your Self-doubt doing? Does it control you, or do you manage it?

Everybody will experience self-doubt at some point in their lives. It’s an innate feeling that helps to keep us on track, focused, and sometimes safe. But when you let your negative thoughts run amok, you lose your confidence, and no goal you set is ever achieved. Before long, Self-Doubt wins, and you spend forever second-guessing every decision you make and letting others take the lead in your life.

2. How many goals have you set and met in the last year?

New Year’s resolutions are goals few people manage to do, but what about other ones? New things, like a position change at work, new career, new relationship, get us excited and energized. They make us feel we can take on anything, so bring it. After a while, the shiny wears off, though, and our energy and excitement wane. So do you walk from the goal or dig in and do even a little work towards it? If you can’t convince yourself to do something, then rethink and revise the triggers needed to keep you motivated. People with superb mental toughness know when to dig in and work harder to achieve their goals. For them, when the fight or flight feeling rises, they chose to fight and stick to hitting their mark even if it takes longer than planned.

3. What did you learn from your last mistake?

If you passed the buck and blamed someone else for your blunder, then you probably learned nada. Mistakes aren’t failures, and they don’t measure a person’s worth. They are the lesson of the moment. Ok, your plan didn’t work. Step back, figure out why and approach the problem again. Only this time use your new-found wisdom to keep you from repeating the same error, over and over, again, Mentally strong people always see life as a series of teachable moments and take a lesson possible more than one, away from their mistakes. You’ve heard that if you fail history, you’re doomed to repeat it, right? Substitute mistakes for history here.

4. Are you getting too comfortable in your zone?

No one likes change. Yet as one wise Greek philosopher told us, change is the consistent thing in life. How are you doing with handling the changes thrown at you? Do you brace yourself and face them, embrace them, or do you let fear stand between you and altered plans? Strong people accept change, whether it’s for the good or bad. They know they have no choice but to handle it, which gives them the self-confidence and courage to face it. Change can be heartbreaking, devastating, or joyful, liberating. One thing is guaranteed with change. You must deal and move on with it. So when change comes to you, are you moving on or standing still in your comfort zone? Here’s a thought for you: People rearrange the furniture in their homes, why not occasionally rearrange your comfort zone.

5. Are you regulating your emotions?

We’ve all heard the road to success is paved with good intentions but has anyone told you it’s also filled with emotional highs and lows. Good things come our way, and so do bad ones. How are you at handling them? Goals are never accomplished easily. Success is not handed out to those waiting in a line. Hearts get broken. Trust can be stretched to the breaking point and sometimes beyond. Temptations come knocking. Pretty gifts horses can be tricksters. Shiny things are distracting.

Humans feel all emotions, but ones that have the mental resilience to keep them in check, don’t let their feelings cloud their judgments or lead them away from their goal. They know these truths. Hearts mend eventually. Trust can be rebuilt with effort. Success can be gotten. Temptations and gift horses should be seen for what they are when stripped of their disguises.

They also know not to count the eggs before the hen lays them. The best way to keep your emotions on an even keel is to plan one day at a time. Take care of today, and let tomorrow worry about itself.

Building up Your Mental Strength

Right now, everyone is going through a difficult time with the Coronavirus running rampant. We’re all having to make adjustments to our lives, and it helps to know we’re not in our boats alone. In all situations, we have coping mechanisms that kick in. I know people who are catching up on their favorite shows. Others are doing spring cleanings. Some of us are exercising more. Not a bad thing to do for several reasons: It improves physical health, keeps us active, and the best benefit; it improves the good hormones, like serotonin and dopamine, that surge through our bodies.

Did you know that Serotonin and Dopamine called the Happy Hormones and are part of the relationship trio of love? Oxytocin is the missing one here. Serotonin contributes to a person's feeling of happiness and well being, which feeds their self-confidence. Dopamine creates feelings of pleasure and satisfaction, which fuels motivation, attention, memory, and those are essential in reaching goals.

Suppressed levels of serotonin and Dopamine sap our mental strength and can lead towards the downward spiral of negativity, increased self-doubt, and the dark tunnel of depression. That’s one place no one wants to willingly go. Building and keeping up your mental fortitude helps you stay on the lighted path during the good and bad times.

Mental toughness, also called resilience, keeps people moving towards their life goals. It’s the can-do attitude we each have inside. Being strong mentally is the best coping mechanism of all, and its the one thing successful people have in common. So hit the gym if possible, if not find a walking trail, hiking path, or the closest sidewalk.

Don’t want to venture too far away from your home? Not a problem. Physical movement inside works too. Use cans of vegetables or soup as weights, do leg lifts and crunches, walk, or jog in place while watching a show or listening to some music with a beat that gets you bouncing. There are online yoga instructors who can guide you through a routine. What better time to try it than now, in the privacy of your home? Physical exercise of any intensity can benefit the body and mind.

If you feel your mental strength growing weak and you can’t get move enough inside to surge those happy hormones, you need to do a think paradigm shift. For every negative thought, think two positive ones. In every bad situation, find the good hiding there, and when all else fails to change your thoughts from negative to positive, take Irving Berlin’s advice and count your blessings instead of sheep. That always puts smiles back on faces that light up darkness and ups those happy hormones that feed our strength and will get us through this together.