Small Town Sins

Small Town Sins

Written by Joshua H.B. Dennard

Email: [email protected]

June 8th, 2023, didn't think towns like this still existed been here for at least two weeks. Physical therapy starts tomorrow! It's hot and uncomfortable there are lights that buzz constantly I can hear moaning of elderly and sick. I'm pretty sure I might never walk again but at least my nurse is cute. Hope they approve me for two sponge baths a day. Optimism is all I feel like I got, being shot is one thing doing it in Hicksville, USA is another.

June 10th, 2023, well that sucked! Yesterday was a practice in medieval torture. I swear my hillbilly therapist could barely talk he had so much dip in his mouth. Jesus that thing they do scooping that tar looking **** out of a can and into their mouth, yuck! But weed is illegal? We don't do that to your teeth. All in all, Hunter wasn't a bad guy he didn't get me to walk, but I did wiggle the hell out of my big toe, and Becky won't say it, but I know she enjoyed giving me that sponge bath. I'm sure this place never had a patient like me hell I swear I hear animals down the Hall. Damn Winfred, you found the only animal\ human hospital in the world, Aren't you lucky. My lawyer AKA my girl is coming tomorrow. Going from normal to paralyzed is demoralizing this whole situation...

June 14th, 2023, a nurse was kind enough to roll me out back pretty sure smoking at a hospital is illegal, but my girl got it to me can't waste a gift. The training hurts like hell and so far, only that one toe is seeing action. I could cry but every time I start to, I think about how lucky I am to be alive. Put another brother in this town on that night, wouldn't be no toes to wiggle, so thank you white Jesus from keeping me from white people.

My mom always warned me about white girls never their hometown I mean I saw “Get Out”, but that **** ain't real. No matter the movie, girlfriend, or BLM seminar, nothing can prepare you for seeing that pointed hood in person. I still couldn't identify the people who shot me if they were right here. I think that's the scariest part mofo could be my doctor. Just gotta keep smiling and hopefully make it home. I haven't told anyone what really happened it sounded good; I don't know why I lied being the black hero in a white town seemed like a good idea. “Look here's Winfred our Negro friend did you know he stopped a robbery”. Some hero haven't got so much as a cherry pie. I wonder if I would be here if they knew the truth. I bet some of them already do.

June 22nd, 2023 talked to my brother Ryan today he just came home. I can't be there and I gotta lie, I'm losing it. I swear if I see Hunter spit one more time i'ma walk out of here!

July 3rd, 2023, the day before Independence Day and I get a roommate. I did my usual ******** to Doctor Hollister but to no avail. My girl was there when they told me. It was an awkward interruption to an awkward conversation. I can't get it up anymore, me and my girl have been trying and now this dusty hick is going to be in the room with me. Hopefully he's cool after being laid up like this I realized me, and my girl don't have **** to talk about. They said I'd be good to go soon. If I leave here unable to have sex. I might have to nuke this town. Life only has so many pleasures. It hurts but I can walk with a walker. I was skeptical about old mud mouth Hunter, but dude is a badass. Tomorrow I meet my roommate and tomorrow I'm one day closer to home.

July 5th, 2023, OK so my roommate Jamie isn't as hickish as I imagined. Kind of reminds me of the monopoly guy. He has cancer, I don't know what kind, but it is terminal. Makes me grateful I know we both want to go home but he's not. Quite the talker that old bastard must have asked 1000 questions never imagined I'd spend July 4th with the monopoly guy. I gotta get out of here!

July 13th, 2023, so today a great thing happened. I woke up with an erection I never been so happy to have morning wood. About a week ago I might have rubbed one out but looking at the monopoly guy kind of killed the mood. I mentioned my issue to Hunter, and I've been clinging to his word since, “Let me tell you something Win, the day you get a Woody is the day you'll walk out of here”. He might have exaggerated about walking, but I definitely feel better.

July 15, 2023 3:00 AM, Mr. monopoly asked why I was here today I gave him the song and dance. “I was out for a jog and ran across a robbery and buddy shot me”. He asked me so many follow up questions, it felt like a second police interview. I don't think he bought it. I mean the way he stared at me those weren't the eyes of a dying man. I don't know why but, in that moment, I told him the truth and in response he got up from his bed and he gave me a hug. I think I've made a friend.

July 17, 2023, walked with a cane today everyone was there! Fine ass Becky, my girl, mud mouth Hunter, and Doc Hollister. I finally got my cherry pie; it was disgusting but I ate every last bite. Came back to the room, Mr. Monopoly's whole family was there nobody looked happy he's not doing so hot. I don't know how long he's got.

July 19th, 2023, call me crazy but I never would have guessed mud mouth was gay. His boyfriend dropped into therapy yesterday small world, cause he's actually one of Mr. Monopoly’s family members starting to see what small town life is really like.

July 22nd, 2023, I couldn't help myself I had to ask Mr. Monopoly how you feel about mud mouth dating his nephew. I'm thinking it's a small town this type of thing gotta be hated. I'm sure if it wasn't for the 60s this place would still have a water fountain for me. So, a gay man in the family had my curiosity, but Mr. Monopoly didn't have much to say, to be honest he looked sad. Not about the gay nephew but about me he looked sad at me, I've never been in a room with someone who's dying but I imagine them feeling sorry for you isn’t normal.

July 24th, 2023, I'm going home today my girl is gonna pick me up about lunch couldn't sleep at all. Been trying to remember that night, now that I got a friend, I've been talking to him about what happened. I asked him did he know anything about the meetings. He said he's heard some stories, but I don't believe that. I don't know what I believe I'm just glad I'm going home. I can honestly say after this trip I might not ever go jogging again. A few years ago, a lot of people died because of racism and about a month ago I could have been one of 'em. I haven't cried not one time, but last night Mr. Monopoly did, cried like a baby actually. I got my cane I went over to him we sat together on the cold hospital seat we didn't say much but I have to say the image of an old white man throwing up a black power fist and crying over what happened to me, caused me to shed my first tear. Kinda makes me wonder if I should have told the truth but then the fear kicks back in what if I'm telling it to one of the people who were there. Again, I'm just glad to go home.

February 1st, 2024, Today I released my book Small Town Sins. It's the truth, I felt it poetic to release it in February. last year I experienced something traumatic still don't know how I feel about it but, on the way, out of that hospital on July 24th of 2023 Mr. Monopoly AKA Jamie Handed me a book a little black one. He said “somebody's ought to know my story “. Getting handed the Journal of a dying man, is one thing reading that journal learning that Hunter, Jamie, and his nephew we're the reason I was in that hospital was something else. My greatest fear realized the enemy was right there and I didn't know, couldn't know. I don't know how I feel about that. They were good people so why? I think I might have to read this Journal 20 times over to understand. Jamie died a few weeks ago and left me $20,000 I don't know if that makes up for anything, but I used it to publish my book, I used it to hire my lawyer, and I used it to get a new apartment, I broke up with my girlfriend. Cheers to Small Town Sins may this book revealed that we are all people and you never know what that means.