Sisyphus’ Quiet Quitting

I’ve been doing it for three thousand years. I think, more or less. I lost count of days and nights. Yes, I have to roll this huge rock at night, too. Up and down, up and down. I roll it up, almost to the top, it rolls down under its weight and I have to start over.

Such is my eternal punishment. He made me immortal for this. For this! Up and down, up and down, with no end. No bathroom breaks, no food or drink. Immortal bodies do not need nourishment or rest. No sleep. Oh, what I would have given for a good night sleep! I loved sleep when I lived among mortals, and now I can only daydream of it.

See what I did there? “Daydream”! Yes, after a couple of millennia I’ve figured out a way to daydream and take naps. It was hard at first as I was afraid I’d be caught but now I take naps that are longer and longer.

See, when the rock rolls down, I used to run for it, trying to stop it mid-way and roll it back up. Back then, I still hoped that one day (or night) I’d be able to roll it up to the very top and my punishment would be over.

But He is a trickster just like I am. The rock will never reach the mountain top, I now know it for sure. Wicked Him!

So now, when the rock rolls down and comes to a complete stop, I sit in its shade and take a nap. Even He cannot watch me every second, especially from the top of His mountain. So, I just prop myself against the rock and take what I call a Power Nap because it gives me the power to trick Him again.

For the first millennium or so, if I tried to slack in any way, He’d send an eagle to snack on my liver (say hello to my great-great-grandfather Prometheus), a wolf to tear off my flesh when I didn’t roll the rock up or a spider or a snake to put poison in my veins for a jolt.

At first, I was terrified of the pain, must be my human memory playing tricks with me. But when I realized that my eternal body would heal itself anyway, I learned to block the pain. I still scream and moan, for Him to believe I’m in pain, but even He can’t tell the difference between the moans of pain and pleasure.

Yes, I find pleasure in knowing that I tricked Him into thinking I’m in pain when in fact I’m just laughing on the inside. They didn’t call me the Trickster for nothing!

I’ve also learned that the weight of the rock is my immortal mind trick. When I used to think it was very heavy this punishment wore me down. I dreaded it. Now that I know it’s as light as a feather I actually enjoy it.

I still have to fake pain and suffering. Like when this fellow Odysseus saw me on his travels I had to sweat profusely and tense my muscles so hard that my veins nearly burst. And that dust he saw was because I was just rolling the rock in place, without moving it up. I was digging in, the rock was grinding the mountain into dust. The poor fellow was so impressed with my “torture” I hope he tells everyone about it so people still remember me.

Many a time now I roll the feather rock not with my hands but with my shoulders, moving it back up. This allows me to watch the clouds and guess their shapes. There’s not much more here on the mountain, growing or living, but the cloud watching is fun, good exercise for my brain.

The other day I even started to whistle and sing while I was leisurely strolling downhill behind the rolling rock. Probably not a good idea but why would I care? What else can He do to me, really?

I’m immortal and if He turns me into a human I will only rejoice. Meanwhile, I’ll just do the bare minimum at my current job and enjoy it as much as I can.