Self-Jealousy. Fun, Fun, Fun.

Always make your past self-jealous.

What happened in this situation while I was making my past self-jealous?

Well, let’s start with the basics. In discovering how to make my past self-jealous, I unlocked a lot of things. First, I found out that it is okay not always to be okay. It is so funny for me to say this now, but years ago, I could not even begin to think on this line.

Now I find myself taking long baths just to enjoy the pure pleasure of being able to do this with no regrets. To the average person with no trauma, this may seem like a reasonable thing to do but not for me.

How did this situation occur for me to make my past self-jealous?

This situation occurred over thirty years ago, and it all started from trauma, but I learned that taking care of me is the best thing that I can do for my family and me. I know that the word jealous sounds a bit bad, but the name itself isn’t bad; it is all in how the word is being used.

How do I feel about this?

I feel fantastic about being selfish with me and making my past self-jealous because it shows me what I can honestly do in this world. Looking back on all the things that I overcame, I can say that I am having a blast at making my past self-jealous because she thought that we could not do it and look at us now.

Why do I feel this way?

I use to feel bad for even thinking the thoughts of making my past self-jealous, but now I don’t even care because for all the no’s that I use to get from myself and others made me realize that the only person’s opinion that mattered was mined. I am not writing or doing things for others to feel some type of way.

I am only writing to help others overcome those mental blocks that seem to be standing in the way of you becoming the best version of yourself as possible. So if this means that I have to make my past self-jealous more often, then so be it because she is going to be one pissed off lady. Laughing, wow, this is so much fun.

Why do I not feel a certain way about making my past self-jealous?

I do not feel negative thoughts about making my past self-jealous because I have learned the true meaning of loving myself more and first. No one likes to feel bad about themselves, to begin with, but because we are conditioned to speak and think negatively over ourselves, it seems reasonable.

I enjoy being able to make myself write through the pain of memory and then laugh at it once I have put it down on paper. Once I have done this, then I can read it out loud and laugh along the way as I edit it and say see young lady we could do it.

Why did I take these actions towards making my past self-jealous?

The answer to this question is simple for me, and the answer is this, I come from a long line of trauma, so for me, there is no room for error when it comes to me living a happier life. I make it a daily habit to piss off my past self because she is no longer the person that she was, and I know that deep down, she is terrified to let go, but the current and future me has no problem with pushing her to the side for a while. She doesn’t know it yet, but the actions that I am taking are going to do us both some good in the future.

Were there any mistakes made, either on my part or someone else’s part?

Oh, there have been plenty of mistakes made over the years in many parts of my life, but I choose to make a change for myself, my children, and grandchildren. I need them to know that if their mom and grandmother can do it, so can they. It’s not a race. It’s just getting the job done to move your past self to your future self but all in a positive way.

What do I need to learn from making my past self-jealous?

The only thing that I feel that I need to learn in making my past self-jealous is paying close attention to what she is jealous of in the first place. If it is something that she just simply doesn’t want to do, then I need to slow down and figure out why she doesn’t want to do it.

For example, when I started my writing journey late last year, my past self would instantly say things in my mind to try and make me change course, and that was not happening because I have a mission in mind.

My mission is this if what I am writing about is going to help at least one person; then I have done part of my job right there. So my question for you today is this, what are you doing to make your past self-jealous right now?

Thanks for reading…

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