Self Esteem

For most of my life I didn’t love myself. Hell, I didn’t even really like myself. I was so caught up in my physical appearance and how far off I was from the societal standard of beauty that I felt like nothing. I felt disgusting. I dreaded my daily showers because of how much I despised my body. I had to sleep in very specific ways so I wouldn’t touch the parts of my body I didn’t like. It was hell. This was my life from 8-24. 16 years of no self esteem, no self confidence, nothing.

I’m so thankful to be starting 25 with the most self confidence I have ever had. I can look at myself in the mirror and be proud and happy with what I see. I can look at a picture of myself and think I look cute, or hot, or even sexy. I’m no longer picking myself apart. I can look at myself and point out more good things than bad. I’ve changed not only physically but mentally.

How did I do it?

Well, I finally was able to get myself out of my head. I found things that brought me joy, I started having a routine, and I started putting myself first. I knew that being outside and exercising always made me feel happy and refreshed. I got on a good sleep schedule. I started stretching pretty much everyday. Once I started really putting my needs first, vocalizing them, and acting on them, I immediately started seeing a change in my mood and in my life in general. I’d like to help you do the same. The best part of this is that it is possible in just 3 easy steps.

How do you want your life to look?

The first thing I did was lay out how I wanted my life to be. I eventually want to be able to make a living working for myself, and I wanted to do that by starting a blog and selling products. I wanted to be able to travel more, and spend more time with my loved ones. I wanted to go on more adventures, I wanted to be debt free, and I wanted to be happy with myself and my body for once in my life.

After I wrote all of that down I started to write down things that were holding me back, or the excuses I was making. For starters, I was scared to death of failing at building my own brand and my own business. I kept putting off making products because I don’t currently have a workspace set up at home and I kept using that as an excuse to not launch my blog. I have debt and not much in the bank and I used that as an excuse to not travel and work myself to death while not keeping a budget and blowing my money. I wanted to be happy with myself and my body yet I kept getting myself stuck in a binge/restrict cycle, and I was also using my chronic illnesses as an excuse to not workout. Were any of these excuses helping me? Absolutely not.

I decided once and for all that it was my time to take my life into my own hands and get over these fears and stop using these excuses to hold me back. I decided to launch my blog without products for now as a way to start building my brand and add them on later when I had the space to make them. I started budgeting and stopped spending money on nonessential items so I could pay my debt down, raise my credit score, and start travelling. I also started going through the stuff in my house that was just taking up space. Things like extra decor items I don’t have room for anymore, clothes I never wear anymore, and shoes I never wear went up for sale. All of that money either went to my debt or into my savings. I started making time for myself in the morning to clean, and to workout and eat a healthy breakfast so I didn’t have the excuse of being too tired after work to clean or exercise. I started making small but necessary changes that helped me realize just how complacent I had become.

How are you going to get that life?

Once you figure out how you want your life to look you need to start making a plan on how to get there. I started learning tips and tricks on blogging as well as ways to grow my instagram and my pinterest so I can get more traffic to my blog. I made a routine for myself for the morning and the night time so I knew when I was going to have time to get stuff done. I started budgeting and following that budget very very closely throughout the whole month. I cancelled things I no longer used or needed, and I tried to save money where I could. I figured out when I would be able to pay my debt off and I’m trying to beat my estimated date. I started eating healthier and drinking more water. I made protein a priority as well as making sure I was moving my body in ways that made me feel good and that helped me make the progress I wanted to make.I joined a free 8 week fitness challenge to start learning healthy habits and have people to keep me accountable. One of my favorite tools is having competitions with my friends and my mom on my Apple Watch to see who does more throughout the week. I am incredibly competitive so it gives me the extra motivation to go on that extra walk or do the longer workout in the morning.

Literally plan out your day. That’s what really kickstarted me. I planned out my mornings, I got things done and I felt so accomplished. I felt like I could do anything the rest of the day. I started reading more, I started getting more ideas and when I felt that motivation I couldn’t be stopped. I was going to learn new art techniques, I was going to read that extra chapter, I was going to do more research. It’s so worth it to just put your energy and your time into something that can really truly change things for you.

Start making the changes!

Arguably, this is the most difficult step. Implementing all of the new habits/behaviors that will help you get the life you want. It’s easy to say you’re going to do all of these things, and it’s easy to not follow through with them. It’s so easy to get caught up in the monotony of life and be so terrified of change and of being uncomfortable that you become complacent without necessarily realizing that you have. You have to challenge yourself to get out of your comfort zone and try something new. For years all I would do was cardio. Treadmill, elliptical, stair stepper, biking, all of it. I would touch weights here and there but I never really saw the appeal. Why would I want to gain muscle when I was trying to shrink myself? This year I started doing strength exercises more frequently and I fell in love. Being able to do exercises I’ve never been able to do before, and lifting weights I never thought I could has been life changing. I keep challenging myself to do better, and to be better. Be more consistent, follow through with your declarations. Stop being complacent. It’s going to be uncomfortable and it’s going to get hard.

I started my own blog and I’m actually reaching people. I’ve started growing my Instagram account on my own. It’s terrifying putting myself out there like that because “what if people hate me?” I can’t think about that. I have to think, what if I succeed? What if I make a difference in someone else’s life? In my own life? What if I’m able to live my dream and support myself while working for myself? Isn’t it worth a shot? Isn’t it worth sacrificing some time?

What if this time, you didn’t give up?