Releasing Negativity

Imagine being happy, carefree, and full of life, then in the blink of an eye you can’t even remember what that felt like.

Imaging trusting someone to protect you, only for them to be the ones who hurt you.

Imagine being innocent, only to have your innocence taken away.

Imagine being a bright light for those around you, only for it to be dark when you were alone.

Imagine dealing with this as an adult, only for it to be a reality for me at 7 years old.

Life has thrown me so many curveballs that I lost the will to swing the bat. I slipped deep into a depression that I never realized I was in.

I allowed people to treat me however they wanted and I didn’t defend myself because to be honest I felt like I deserved the things that’s were happening. Maybe there was a reason people treated me the way that they did.

That way of thinking made me extremely toxic to myself and I didn’t even know it. From a young age I allowed other people’s views of me dictate how I treated and felt about myself. I lost myself and my self worth.

I was traumatized as a young child, that I didn’t know what self love was. For many years I chased what I thought was love, all because I didn’t love thy self.

This problem had a huge affect on my life as an adult. I became a toxic adult, but not because I was a bad person, as I am a good person with a big heart, I just had toxic tendencies.

What I mean by this is that I was toxic to myself. I was such a good person that I allowed people to hurt me, because I seen the good in them, even when they didn’t.

I forgave even when I should have been angry and fought back, I was simply, toxic to myself because I didn’t protect myself.

This problem trickled down into my relationships, which all became a mirror of how I felt about myself. But the thing about that mirror is that it shows you your reflection and you have the ability to change what you see if you don’t like it.

Perception, it’s all about perception. I eventually got to a place where I didn’t like or recognize the person looking back at me. So I decided to change my reflection, the way I seen myself, thus changing my perception.

Now I look at things in a glads half full kind of way. It either is or isn’t, it exist but is nonexistent, it’s good but bad, it’s light and dark. It’s all one in the same.

Life has a way of changing you into something you don’t want to be, if you allow it. It’s up to you to change the narrative of your story.

I’ve been though a lot in my 33 years of living and I’m sure I’ll go through a many a more. But if I can help someone else or make a difference to someone else by getting personal and telling my story, then that’s what I’ll do.

Join me on my journey as I work through and heal a lot within myself. Who knows you may learn something new or look at something from a different perspective. Even if I’ve done nothing for you, I’ve at least planted to seed.

I don’t know where this journey will take me, or even those of you who decide to tune in. I just know it’s going to be well worth it as We clear out all the old negativity and produce more positive energy.

So grab your notebook, your crystals, your sage, or whatever you need and let’s buckle down find a way to balance ourselves and live happier lives.

Please bare with me as I’m new to this, but I want to tell my story in hopes that it may help someone else. Remember, you control your life and what happens in it, so let’s change the narrative.